HARD HEARTED ?

chop onions that helps u cry....

Salam

[quote="kuri/19"]i've got a real problem with myself being hard hearted

how can u make your heart sensitive?[/quote]

Kuri. Ditch the bad girls.

Be a more lady like. You will be fine.

Stop being a boy.

You're a woman for Christ sake !!

Omrow

i cry, that dont make me a girl....

I was at the beach this morning watching the sun come up.

and I just started crying

It was so beautiful...

:roll:

hey i'm not that bad

I think i was a bit like that at one point, the best thing to do when asking for forgiveness is think that you are in front of Allah (swt) and think of your bad deeds and then ask for forgivness, keep in mind Allah is merciful and if you ask with true sincerity without tears He knows what your intentions are, so if your not shedding tears it doesnt necessarily mean that you are not forgiven..

Also another thing when thinkin bout your sins, just remeber what the Holy Prophet ﷺ has done for us and how much he prayed for his ﷺ ummah and what deeds are we doing to try and repay this(even though nothin we do can repay this, we can try our best)

[quote="angel"]I think i was a bit like that at one point, the best thing to do when asking for forgiveness is think that you are in front of Allah (swt) and think of your bad deeds and then ask for forgivness, keep in mind Allah is merciful and if you ask with true sincerity without tears He knows what your intentions are, so if your not shedding tears it doesnt necessarily mean that you are not forgiven..

Also another thing when thinkin bout your sins, just remeber what the Holy Prophet ﷺ has done for us and how much he prayed for his ﷺ ummah and what deeds are we doing to try and repay this(even though nothin we do can repay this, we can try our best)[/quote]

i is crying 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢 😢

[quote="kuri/19"]assalam u alaikum

i just cannot shed a few tears or get emotional when asking for forgivness,thinking of death,grave punishment hell fire..

i say this because i know alot of people who get very emotional and i cannot make out why i aint like that

for example: when a ladys jamaat came in our town i went and towards the end one of the ladys did a dua and everyone was emotional crying in they dua....but i just couldnt cry

then in madressah after durood sharif ( a special time set on thursday night to send durood to our prophet mohammed pbuh) a girl from the khamisa class has to do dua and everyone bes crying..but its the same problem

[/quote]

Tell me about it. I think for me it might be because when i started secondary school, I was a bit of a loner so some people used to take the mick out of me and well I used to occasionally cry. Now as you can probably guess that's not the best response for a guy in asituation like that, and I hated myself for it, so I literally started to force my self never to cry and i'm pretty sure from year 8 to year 10 not a single tear touched my face. Two years without crying once.

I also perfected my facial expression during this time so that I looked like I was in a permanent bad mood (I could have been in prison 😃 ).

I still laughed like a mad man, but otherwise kept most of my emotions hidden.

However I began realize that locking up your feelings was damaging and that I would rather break down like a sissy girl just for the chance to cry again.

So now I try to be normallish, but two years without tears has its effect and I also find it hard to cry.

However two things:

1./ I heard this Mawlanna using a metaphor that if a kid wants somethibg off his parents he'll whine and cry for it until the parent sucumbs, but if he hasn't whined enough to the stage where tears come he'll make a teary face and immitated crying until the parent gives in. Thus sincerely trying has the same effect as the real thing. And this is what you shouyld do in Du'a.

2./ This makes me cry with happiness, peace and hope almost everytime. Read (the English although feel free to also read the Arabic) Ayah 119 of Surah 5, preferably translated by Muhammad Marmaduke Pickthall, his translation of it is the one that gets me.

I also suffer from a similar malady. It takes a lot for me to cry but alhamdulillah I have had some experiences where tears just come spontaneously and they are the best. If I try really really hard then might be able squeeze a tear or two out but everytime I have cried deeply its when I had no expectation to cry.

One was after I did something bad in my younger days. The other was at the khatm Quran dua in Ramadan a few years back, I have great love for the Shaykh who made the dua and his dua was amazing, even grown men were crying loudly like women do.

As a remedy, I dont really know but if you do get any effective remedy let me know aswell!

Salaam

I'm the opposite. My heart is way too soft.

It doesnt take much for my tears to start...and when they start they dont stop-No Joke.

I can easily spend the whole night crying. I don't even know where all the tears come from.

Lots of things upset me...lots of things touch my heart.

I cry when I'm angry and even cry when I'm happy. I'm a bit of a weirdo like that...

I hope that I get over this problem.

Wasalaam

better to be able to cry than to sit like a statue

salaam
I never ever cried whilst asking for forgivness, could neva get myself to, but I did once for the 1st time a few months bak when i went 2 al-hidayah camp n the Shayukh did a very touching dua. I just imagined myself in front of Allah (swt) asking 4 forgivness n thought ov all the sins iv comittd n b4 i knew it.....i was crying!!

I culd only say''It is not the greatness of our troubles ,but the littleness of our faith that makes us complain.

[quote="Asiya_A"]salaam
I never ever cried whilst asking for forgivness, could neva get myself to, but I did once for the 1st time a few months bak when i went 2 al-hidayah camp n the Shayukh did a very touching dua. I just imagined myself in front of Allah (swt) asking 4 forgivness n thought ov all the sins iv comittd n b4 i knew it.....i was crying!![/quote]

word to wat Aunty Asiya said....i agree

altho it was the second time i cried.....the 1st was after Isha prayer ayear or so ago, Alhamdulillah Allah SWT opened my eyes to all the blessings in my life...and i couldnt stop thanking him for everything i have, and asking for forgiveness for how ungrateful i had been. since then, my eyes are wider open and im grateful for everything i have. the dua jus never ended until i was in tears!!

wish that could happen more often, i oftern get told my stone hearted :evil: ...which i dont believe 😃

i guess crying wen losing a fight to my brother as a kid dont count, otherwise it'd be the millionth tym lol 😂

[quote="Medievalist"]better to be able to cry than to sit like a statue[/quote]

yea defo

i find it amazing how peoples tears just come out when they so happy..i see this normally in goray

like a women who lives on my street just couldnt stop her tears flowing in happiness when she passed her driving

i wish i were like that

recently one of my relations passed away ....i propa felt sorry for that person prayed for him but couldnt bring myself to cry.....

at times i feel so bad ...i hate being like this

[quote="kuri/19"]assalam u alaikum

has anyone here got a hard heart like me?

i've got a real problem with myself being hard hearted

i just cannot shed a few tears or get emotional when asking for forgivness,thinking of death,grave punishment hell fire..

i say this because i know alot of people who get very emotional and i cannot make out why i aint like that

for example: when a ladys jamaat came in our town i went and towards the end one of the ladys did a dua and everyone was emotional crying in they dua....but i just couldnt cry

then in madressah after durood sharif ( a special time set on thursday night to send durood to our prophet mohammed pbuh) a girl from the khamisa class has to do dua and everyone bes crying..but its the same problem

ive probably most got emotional when my dad got ill..and some times when hes not well thinking of him sets me off...but other than that i feel it a problem

how can u make your heart sensitive?

coz i heard when asking for forgivness u shud shed tears and if not put on a teary face.

is there any certain dua u know that can help?

jazakallah[/quote]

Its not necassary to shed tears,its not being hard hearted,but,you should beg to Allah almighty alone and your mind should be thinking that
ALLAH ALMIGHTY IS THE ONLY AND THE GREATEST HELPER,HUMAN BEINGS ARE SO HELPLESS.

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]
Its not necassary to shed tears,its not being hard hearted,.[/quote]

if the heart wasnt hard then tears would automatically flow

only hard hearts prevents tears from following

[quote="Darth V-Hayder"]
wish that could happen more often, i oftern get told my stone hearted
[/quote]

Don't believe a word of it, okay he once threatened to knock me out for banging him on the back to help him cough up phlegm, but really he's not hard hearted at all.

He once stayed up till 2 am writing revision notes for a mate and then got up for Fajr did Fajr, sent the notes to his mate and stayed up revising with his mate until he had to go to work. COME ON! 3hours sleep? thats almost as bad as no milk!

lol....dawud, thank you for that

not only did i get angry at you then....also when you went for a long rage wonky shot right infront of me and hit me in the face :evil:

i help a lot of my friends out....more often than not going out my way. but i prefer not to speak of such things, coz i dont wanna be considered as someone who boasts

but in truth, i dont expect anything back from them. i only do it for Allah SWT's reward

yeah.....tooo many sleepless nights mate

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]
Its not necassary to shed tears,its not being hard hearted,.[/quote]

if the heart wasnt hard then tears would automatically flow

only hard hearts prevents tears from following[/quote]

Salaam

Scholars have said “if you want to know whether or not your heart is hard, then look at your eye”. If it is dry and unmoved to tears, this is an indication of a hard heart.

According to Shaykh Humza Yusuf a person who has sympathy and softness in the heart is said to have a moistened eye.

Many things harden the heart…sins harden the heart. Overeating, over sleeping and talking unnecessary hardens the heart…sitting in gatherings in which the name of Allah (swt) is not mentioned hardens the heart.

And many things soften the heart as well…..good deeds, dhikr, avoiding all of the above….doing things with sincerity (e.g staying awake at night for prayer whilst others are asleep, giving charity secretly, helping those in need secretly and then not bragging about your merits afterwoulds… etc all soften the heart.

Also to have a soft heart we must clean it as well…we can do this by NOT keeping grudges in our heart for others. Learn to forgive and forget.

Shaykh Tahir ul Qadri mentioned in one of his lectures that we should make our heart so soft that it is always on the verge of tears....this is spiritually beneficial for us.

Wasalaam

[quote="MuslimSister"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]
Its not necassary to shed tears,its not being hard hearted,.[/quote]

if the heart wasnt hard then tears would automatically flow

only hard hearts prevents tears from following[/quote]

Salaam

Scholars have said “if you want to know whether or not your heart is hard, then look at your eye”. If it is dry and unmoved to tears, this is an indication of a hard heart.

According to Shaykh Humza Yusuf a person who has sympathy and softness in the heart is said to have a moistened eye.

Many things harden the heart…sins harden the heart. Overeating, over sleeping and talking unnecessary hardens the heart…sitting in gatherings in which the name of Allah (swt) is not mentioned hardens the heart.

And many things soften the heart as well…..good deeds, dhikr, avoiding all of the above….doing things with sincerity (e.g staying awake at night for prayer whilst others are asleep, giving charity secretly, helping those in need secretly and then not bragging about your merits afterwoulds… etc all soften the heart.

Also to have a soft heart we must clean it as well…we can do this by NOT keeping grudges in our heart for others. Learn to forgive and forget.

Shaykh Tahir ul Qadri mentioned in one of his lectures that we should make our heart so soft that it is always on the verge of tears....this is spiritually beneficial for us.

Wasalaam[/quote]

Walaikum assalam
i dont have relevant information regarding this topic,therefore i have no answers.

hard hearted people with stone hearts-would never understand the importance of this topic

that is harsh

[quote="Medievalist"]that is harsh[/quote]

I'm just stating the facts.

if our hearts were soft and not hard then we would feel mercy and compassion for others.

haveing a soft heart is VERY important

this topic reminds me of that heartless man who never once kissed any one of his children.

Asalaamu alaikum all

itz gud 2 be bak afta not bein online 4 wat feels like years!lol hope all u guys r okay!!

im one of those ppl who starts cryin very easily...iv always been emotional and esp when im praying+asking 4 forgiveness my tears once they start they jus do not stop!

and like sum1 mentioned at the Al-Hidayah camp when our beloved Shaykh made the beautiful dua 4 us all...waz so emotional...tears jus flowed down my cheeks. crying helps...its a visible sign of the touching blessing of Allah Almighty that u feel to moved that tears begin 2 flow!

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]hard hearted people with stone hearts-would never understand the importance of this topic[/quote]

[size=24]CAN WE HAVE A PRACTICAL FIGHT[/size]

I think it different for men and women, I was watching the News the other day and about Niger, it really got to me, but as some women will naturally cry, I began to feel angry at how hopeless the situation was. I think Seraph describe this situation really well on the last forum. Men will act differently and are generally much more hard hearted.

[quote="yuit"]I think it different for men and women, I was watching the News the other day and about Niger, it really got to me, but as some women will naturally cry, I began to feel angry at how hopeless the situation was. I think Seraph describe this situation really well on the last forum. Men will act differently and are generally much more hard hearted.[/quote]

i wouldnt say that

its true that women do find it easier to cry

but thats partly cos society dont consider it "cool for men to cry"

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]hard hearted people with stone hearts-would never understand the importance of this topic[/quote]

[size=24]CAN WE HAVE A PRACTICAL FIGHT[/size][/quote]

considering you are the caveman responsible for claims that women should not be seen and heard in the streets, work, home, earth, solar system etc.......why would you want a fight with a woman....you silly neanaderthal!!! :shock:

Signing out, Hayder - Co-Founder of CBI Ltd

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]hard hearted people with stone hearts-would never understand the importance of this topic[/quote]

i feel im hard hearted yea but posting this topic was coz i considered it important....i thought i was the only one with a heard heart....

are u meaning something else?