FORCED MARRIAGES

[quote="Medievalist"]yes possibly. But not in the case that I referred to. The family is very good and learned, including the women folk.[/quote]

I'm sure his family is decent-they must be if they are religious

the girl i had in mind-was told that she'd be beaten up later if she had the nerve to say no

so she said nothing

she is still in a nightmare marraige

I WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY YOUR IDEA WITH FOLLOWING HADITH

"Obey your parents even though if you are told to leave all of your money and to divorce your spouse,only abandoning Islam is an exception"MUHAMMAD PBUH

PARENTS ARE THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALLAH TO YOU IN THIS WORLD,THEY ADORE YOU,AND SURELY THEY WILL NEVER WANT YOU TO REMAIN UNHAPPY.AND PROBABLY THE BEST MARRIAGES ARE THE ARRRANGED MARRIAGES.

PLEASE DO NOT SHOUT! THERE IS NO NEED TO. IT IS REALLY REALLY ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE SHOUT INSTEAD OF COMMUNICATING. DOES IT ALSO GET ON YOUR NERVES?

Please avoid using all caps.

Coming back to your comment, Islamic marriages are generally 'arranged'.

However the parent has no right to 'force'. If a person is forced into marriage, it is null and void.

MashaALLAH Muhammad Ali Nasir Sahib MashaALLAH.

May ALLAH Rabbul Izzat reward you with highest of rewards for such a post. Indeed parents are a great ni'mat from ALLAH and we are unaware.

Which hadith states that you must divorce your partner if your parents tell you to?

It be interesting to hear a scholarly interpretation of that hadith.

If they have no right to force their children into marriage, I don’t understand how they're given the right to end their children’s marriage.

[quote="MuslimSister"]Which hadith states that you must divorce your partner if your parents tell you to?

It be interesting to hear a scholarly interpretation of that hadith.

If they have no right to force their children into marriage, I don’t understand how they given be given the right to end their children’s marriage.[/quote]

Yes it will b interesting to hear a schoarly interpretation, i think i shuld chek the official website sum time n chek out the topic coz im pretty sure a lecture shuld b on there.

Well 4rm my point of u ive heard dat wen ur single ur father has a rite over u, until u get married after dat is ur husbands rite.

A decision between a husband n wife is their decision no parent has a rite 2 tell them wat 2 do coz at the end of the day the husband n wife hav 2 live togetha 4 the rest of their life so interfering i think makes it worser.

if someone is stuck with backwards parents such as the one that girl had-who's parents forced her into marraige

i dont think they are a blessing from God

Salam

[quote="MuslimSister"]Which hadith states that you must divorce your partner if your parents tell you to?

It be interesting to hear a scholarly interpretation of that hadith[/quote]

For those of you who don't know:

Umar was a Caliph ( Ruler, or a King ). His son was called Abdullah Ibn Umar. He was a Prince.

There is a Tradition that the son of second Caliph, Umar [d. 644 ], was married to a woman of his own choice. He was very happy with her.

However, the Caliph did not like his daughter in law. So, he asked his son to leave her.

The son really loved his wife. Therefore, he tried to delay the matter in order to persuade his dad that this is a bad idea.

Umar would not have it. He would not listen to pleas of his son.

Finally, he gave the order to his son to divorce his wife.

The son was very upset and went to seek advice from the Holy Prophet.

The Prophet told him to obey his dad and get rid of the woman.

The woman was divorced, and the husband was heartbroken.

This story is in written in books by Abu Dawud, Tirmizi, Ibn Maja, Ahmad bin Hanbal, Hakim and Ibn Hibban. Personally, I suspect that the Tradition is not authentic.

It is also said that the Holy Prophet's advice to Muslims is this:

Never commit idolatry against God, even if you are murdered; and leave all that you posses if ordered by your parents.

Scholars are divided into two camps regarding these type of Tradition on divorce. Those who say it only recommended that you ditch your wife when parents ask to you. And those who say that it is obligatory to do so.

I am with the third camp. These clerics say that it is neither obligatory nor recommended to leave your pious wife on whims of your parents. They have no right to interfere in her life. She is the best gift God has given you.

Omrow

[quote="Omrow"]

I am with the third camp. These clerics say that it is neither obligatory nor recommended to leave your pious wife on whims of your parents. She is the best gift God has given you. They have no right to interfere in her life.

Omrow[/quote]

good stance to go with

no one can be happy in life if they are responsible for ruining someone elses life

!!!

I consulted few of my friends and my Dad in this aspect,they said that obeying parents is an obligation in Islam and they are the ones who wish your best,but Islam gives full rights to a child about his marriage and it is necassary for them to ask him or her about this.It is the duty of Parents to find the perfect match he must be same educated and the girl or boy is, and in many other aspects,in fact if you dont like the one and you think you are forced you can reach out to your parents and tell them straight forwardly,why are you afraid to tell your Parents so????and should tell very frankly about your likeness.

[quote="MuslimSister"]Which hadith states that you must divorce your partner if your parents tell you to?

It be interesting to hear a scholarly interpretation of that hadith.

If they have no right to force their children into marriage, I don’t understand how they're given the right to end their children’s marriage.[/quote]

[color=indigo][/color]
Once Holy prophet Muhammad SAW saw a sahaba having TAWAAF and on her shoulders was an old lady,it was the time of afternoon in the Arabia and it was so hot that it felt that sun is only yards away,after completion of TAWAAF,Muhammad SAW aked that man who she was,and why she was sitting on your shoulders,he replied that My dear prophet she is my mother and she can not walk she served me all my life and gave me everything that any mother can give therefore i am trying to repay her good deeds,Muhammad SAW smiled and told that you even have not even repaid your mother the tenth of second of great pain she suffered when she was giving you birth.

and for my dear muslimsister i think it is a mater of shame that you dont even know much about hadith,I would urge you to read SAHEEH BUKHARI.

And as far as that girl is concerned who is in a nightmare,if you wish yo obey your parents it is the best,but if you think he is not suitable you are given all rights to reject that person.

INALLAHA MAES SAABEREEN.......Beshak Allah sabar karnay waloon k saath....No doubt Allah is with one who beholds patience.

i alwayz hear this lady saying (joriyaan aasmaan pay bantee hai) i kinda get what it means but what about the marriges that dont work out.via end up in divorce...

lol.this phrase means that you never know that who will be your spouse until your wedding it could be anyone your close friend your cousin or any other you dont know right now.And yes marriage is one of the most complicated and most dominated step of your life, you should also learn to compromise than to divorce.
"TO ALLAH DIVORCE IS THE WORST IN THE HALAL THING."Muhammad PBUH

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]
and for my dear muslimsister i think it is a mater of shame that you dont even know much about hadith,I would urge you to read SAHEEH BUKHARI.
[/quote]

no need for that :roll:

[quote="kuri/19"]

i alwayz hear this lady saying (joriyaan aasmaan pay bantee hai) i kinda get what it means but what about the marriges that dont work out.via end up in divorce...[/quote]

they are....u gotta find the right person and make it work. im a believer that if you do things purely according to Islam, theres little space for things to go wrong

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]

and for my dear muslimsister i think it is a mater of shame that you dont even know much about hadith,I would urge you to read SAHEEH BUKHARI.

.[/quote]

have u read and memorised thousands and thousands of ALL Bukhari hadiths?

including their chain of narrations

if u aint then SHAME on YOU

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"] Once Holy prophet Muhammad SAW saw a sahaba having TAWAAF and on her shoulders was an old lady,it was the time of afternoon in the Arabia and it was so hot that it felt that sun is only yards away,after completion of TAWAAF,Muhammad SAW aked that man who she was,and why she was sitting on your shoulders,he replied that My dear prophet she is my mother and she can not walk she served me all my life and gave me everything that any mother can give therefore i am trying to repay her good deeds,Muhammad SAW smiled and told that you even have not even repaid your mother the tenth of second of great pain she suffered when she was giving you birth.

.[/quote]

and whats that gotta do with forced marraiges?

u trying to say that cos parents have done so much for us they have a right to force us into marraige? :roll:

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"]

and for my dear muslimsister i think it is a mater of shame that you dont even know much about hadith,I would urge you to read SAHEEH BUKHARI.

.[/quote]

have u read and memorised thousands and thousands of ALL Bukhari hadiths?

including their chain of narrations

if u aint then SHAME on YOU

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"] Once Holy prophet Muhammad SAW saw a sahaba having TAWAAF and on her shoulders was an old lady,it was the time of afternoon in the Arabia and it was so hot that it felt that sun is only yards away,after completion of TAWAAF,Muhammad SAW aked that man who she was,and why she was sitting on your shoulders,he replied that My dear prophet she is my mother and she can not walk she served me all my life and gave me everything that any mother can give therefore i am trying to repay her good deeds,Muhammad SAW smiled and told that you even have not even repaid your mother the tenth of second of great pain she suffered when she was giving you birth.

.[/quote]

and whats that gotta do with forced marraiges?

u trying to say that cos parents have done so much for us they have a right to force us into marraige? :roll:[/quote]

Assalam oo alikum
no i have not memorized thousands of Al Buhkari hadiths but i think i have sufficient information to guide anybody by giving references(though i want to increase my knowledge and i am working on it)

As far as that paragraph is concerned i just wanted to emphisiaze that since parents have killed their wills for our good,therefore,sacrifising our will may please Allah,but remember Islam gives full fledge rights to a child about his or her marriage and it is the duty of parents to find a perfect match in every aspect ,the above para was just a reference that no matter how we serve and obey our parents we can never repay.
Signing out ,respect.

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"] and it is the duty of parents to find a perfect match in every aspect .[/quote]

is this set in stone?

i think everyone should find their own partner-in a HALAAL way

parental input should be valued tho

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"] and it is the duty of parents to find a perfect match in every aspect .[/quote]

is this set in stone?

i think everyone should find their own partner-in a HALAAL way

parental input should be valued tho[/quote]

How will you find a life partner in HALAAL WAY,my sister,since your life partner will formerly be a NA MAHRAM.

I'll find a way-

i can find my own partner WITHOUT dating him/meeting up alone with him/checkin him behind parents back

or even calling him up

it aint impossible-it can be done

I'll spare u the details cos I cant be bothered-

but watch out for an article explaining this issue in the next revival issue

that covers it all

[quote="MUHAMMADALINASIR"][quote="Darth V-Hayder"]mate....ive seen equally as much Fitna in pakistan

dont give me that jibberish please!! i am not comin back home to live there....not till i have kids anyway :lol:[/quote]

I am not stressing you to come back to Pakistan,why would I,but you should turn to an Islamic country where you think you can get real Islamic environment.[/quote]

Do you feel it wrong to interact in civilised, dignified conversation with a female?

[quote="MuslimSister"]Which hadith states that you must divorce your partner if your parents tell you to?

It be interesting to hear a scholarly interpretation of that hadith.

If they have no right to force their children into marriage, I don’t understand how they're given the right to end their children’s marriage.[/quote]

i came across a hadith regarding this matter :

Mu'adh radiyallahu anhu narrates that rasulullah sallalahu alaihi wasallam enjoined upon me ten things one of which is:do not disobey your parents even if they order you to leave your wife (musnad ahmed)

MOST parents i know aint crazy and unreasoble enough to make such demands on their kids

of course u get the rare exceptions- :roll: