a stranger crying

Published by LookingToSee on 23 May, 2013 - 10:50

what would you do if you saw a stranger crying alone, someone at a bus stop for example?

what would you say?

if you were pushed so much that you ended up crying in public alone, would you want someone to say something to you?

Comments

Submitted by Seraphim on 23 May, 2013 - 13:15

Sounds like someone needs a Magic Hug Preved

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Submitted by LookingToSee on 23 May, 2013 - 13:55

seriously though.

would "it's going to be okay" coming from a complete stranger (yourself) help? I thought of saying that when I saw that lady who looked like she was crying, I then tried to put myself in her position and think of all the reasons why I'd be crying at a bus stop and whether "it's going to be okay" would help. then i thought of making this blog.

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Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by Seraphim on 23 May, 2013 - 14:23

But i was being serious...

Crying is mostly caused by grief, sadness, anger, fear and pain. While some children (and some melodramatic women) cry for attention. We shall assume that this isnt about children crying.

Neither of the two genders encourage or approve of crying in public for various reasons. The affects of crying in public can be somewhat strange, in that its something that people normally associate as something that is done in private.
Crying in public is a cry for help (no pun intended... ok go on then pun intended) that requires a response from others. It immediately disrupts the moment for others and attracts their attention. Crying in public requires that the event be acknowledged and that some form of comfort is distributed.

The most common of which being a hug or the rubbing of arms or hands. Physcial closeness can help reassure the cryer that they are not alone. Although its not strictly necessary that you say anything in particular, although 'its going to be ok' is the most commonly used phrase. Just letting them know that they arent alone is usually enough. I dont think many people would be comfortable with divulging their life to a complete stranger.

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Submitted by TPOS on 24 May, 2013 - 15:30

Whilst in some cases crying may be a call for help, other times may be someone is alfeelinv a bit upset and can't control their emotions in that time and place - I mean an intervention isn't really needed. I think it'd be nice to ask if theyre ok. Yh obviously they're not ok but how else are u meant to phrase that :/ I personally would feel uncomfortable and wouldn't know what to do and probably just leave it in the end. :/

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Submitted by LookingToSee on 23 May, 2013 - 14:41

why does it sound like a copy paste job..sorry..but i was really expecting a "this is from this and that website" lol.

 

anyway, i dont think crying in public is a cry for help. maybe a little but i dont think thats the major aim. if i see someone crying in public, what comes to my mind is that the pain, grief, sadness etc.. is so great that that person cant keep it in, even in public, and its literally spilling over. especially if that person is wiping their eyes as soon as the tears come.

so with that above kind of person, the type who dont really wanna be acknowledge (well to me it seems that way) should we go ahead and acknowledge with an "its going to be okay"? or act like a good "i live in a big city and if i dont look that way its not happening" citizen?

ive never actually seen someone who iscrying in public openly. i'll be sure to tell them its going to be okay though. though touching is a bit...hmm...

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Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Submitted by _Me_ on 23 May, 2013 - 17:05

I would try and act as if I haven't seen that person crying to save myself from thinking of questions to ask. 

I find it hard to comfort anyone, never mind a complete stranger lol. If she was crying really bad, then maybe I'd offer her a sweet Biggrin

If she geniunely looked upset, then of course I would (verbally) sympathise. 

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Submitted by Seraphim on 24 May, 2013 - 14:05

You guys are soo lame.

You would leave a poor person sat there crying and just PRETEND they didnt exist. Not cool.

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Submitted by Hummus on 24 May, 2013 - 15:27

I would never pretend that they didn't exist. I would make eye contact with them first. If i detect that they would like to talk to me and they don't cut their eyes and look the other way i would definitely approach them.

I would just say something along the lines of Hi, excuse me, are you feeling okay? If i don't get a response i'd walk away. If i get a rude or go away, i-don't-want-to-talk-to-you response, i'd move right out of their sight and if they're making a conversation with me, i would take it from there.

Aaaah. I should not have opened this thread. It reminded me of something scary that i was thinking of during today's walk home. Need to get that thought out of my system.

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