What Does Islam Say About Relationships? What's Wrong With Having Boy/Girlfriends?

Answer by Shaykh Salim Ghiza:

In the name of Allah the most Beneficent and Merciful.

Pre-marital relationships (boy/girlfriends) are strictly Haram (forbidden) in Islam. For non permissible males to have a relationship with non permissible females is one of the major sins in today’s era.

Unfortunately we see this western influence spreading like an illness amongst the Muslim youth. As barriers of work and study have been relaxed by parents, as they would like to see their children prosper, it has brought its evils with it.

Whilst working or studying is commended and supported by Islam, the values of guarding one’s modesty and chastity are even more important.

Answer by Shaykh Salim Ghiza:

In the name of Allah the most Beneficent and Merciful.

Pre-marital relationships (boy/girlfriends) are strictly Haram (forbidden) in Islam. For non permissible males to have a relationship with non permissible females is one of the major sins in today’s era.

Unfortunately we see this western influence spreading like an illness amongst the Muslim youth. As barriers of work and study have been relaxed by parents, as they would like to see their children prosper, it has brought its evils with it.

Whilst working or studying is commended and supported by Islam, the values of guarding one’s modesty and chastity are even more important.

All men and women have a responsibility under the Shariah that they do not attract the other sex for whom it is unlawful to do so. The measures taken are clear and that all men and women must wear clothing, which are modest and loose.

It is as much haram for a man to wear tight clothing, which would expose the shape of his bodily contours, which are haram for him to show as it is for a woman.

The hijab is the head covering and the reason why this is emphasised for a woman is because her hair and head are also recognised as Awrah (parts which she must cover). As for the man the best way he can protect his modesty is to lower his gaze (as well as cover his body which would cause a sexual attraction).

Looking at the Opposite Sex

Allah says in the Holy Quran regarding lowering the gaze:

"Tell believers to lower their gaze, and tell the believing women to lower their gaze." (24:30,31)

Imam Al Quduri the great Hanafi Jurist states "It is not permissible for a man to look at a woman who is not his wife or un-marriageable relative except for her face and hands (because of the necessity of her need to deal with men in taking and giving and the like). If a man is not safe from lust, he may not look at her face except for when it is demanded by necessity. (Quduri)

The above tells us the strict ruling of looking at a woman never mind having a relationship with her.

The Prophet (May Allah bless him and grant him peace) has said that the eye that looks at a woman (non Mahram) or vice versa with intent of lust or a relationship is the eye that commits fornication (zina). In a lengthy Hadith he says

"The fornication of the two eyes is an evil glance. The fornication of the two ears is the obscene talk. The fornication of the tongue and hand is the touch and grasp. And the fornication of the two feet is the steps taken towards evil. The heart desires and longs and the private parts abide with or does contrary to it". (Mishkat ul Masabih, Abu Dawood)

Teenage Pregnancies

Teenage relationships start off as friendship and eventually can lead to fornication. This is why the Prophet of Allah said "When two people (illegally) are together alone then the third is shaitaan" (Bukhari).

We see in today’s day and age the consequences of such actions. Great Britain has the highest amount of teenage pregnancies in the whole of Europe. In 2002, 37,232 girls under the age of 16 became pregnant, this figure has risen every year since.

In 2003 the figure was 40828 and in 2004 the figure has reached a record level of 42400. Allah wants to protect the young male and female from such actions.

In fact the Prophet of Allah has said

"one of the seven people who will be under the protection of the shade of the throne of Allah on the day of judgment when there will be no shade will be the young man (or woman) who was approached by a respectable beautiful woman but he replied `I fear Allah`." (Bukhari)

What's So Bad About It?

Young Girls and boys must realise that fornication (sex outside marriage) is one of the worst sins for a Muslim. The Prophet of Allah has said "The greatest sin after polytheism (shirk) is the man who commits fornication with a woman who is not his legal wife" (Ibn Kathir, Mishkat).

In fact it is so serious that the greatest of gifts, which is Imaan (faith), is removed from the fornicator until the evil act is finished. The Prophet of Allah said "Faith comes out of a person whilst he commits fornication" (Mishkat).

It has also been stated in another hadith related by Imam Tirmidhi, Abu Dawood and Baihaqi that the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said “When a servant in Allah engages in fornication, his faith leaves him, for it is like a piece of cloth covering his head (and is removed), and when he finishes his sin, his faith returns”.

Another point to take in to account is when young men and women look for a suitable partner, even if they were themselves involved in such acts, they will want a partner who was pious and had protected their chastity, hence, modesty and Haya (Shamefulness) is a part of Imaan as advised to us by our beloved Prophet. (Bukhari)

Mahram or non-Mahram?

Islam categorises and defines the relations from the opposite sex who are not allowed to be a marital partner and therefore are known as Mahram. All other types of relations or people are regarded as non Mahram hence marriage is allowable with them and therefore individual contact is not permissible unless it is open and necessary or the person is beyond marriageable age.

Mahram - people who you are not allowed to marry

(Extracted from Reliance of the Traveler) It is unlawful for one to marry one’s ancestors, descendents, parent’s descendents, or the first generation of one’s grandparent’s offspring, meaning one’s paternal or maternal aunts or uncles. One’s un-marriageable kin (mahram) are those one is forbidden to marry forever.

For a man:

  • Mother
  • Grandmothers (paternal or maternal) and on up
  • Daughters
  • Daughters of his children, children’s children and on down.
  • Sisters
  • Daughters of brothers or sisters, their children’s daughters, and on down
  • Mother’s sisters, grandmothers sisters and on up
  • Father’s sisters and father’s fathers sisters and on up
  • Wife’s mother, Wife’s grandmother
  • The wives of his father, father’s father and on up
  • The wives of his children, children’s children and on down.

All the mentioned relatives are unlawful to be married. However, the first lot are due to blood relationships and hence it would be incest.

The last four are unlawful due to the fact of his marriage, i.e., wife’s mother (she was lawful but became unlawful when he married his wife) and this is what this means and will now remain unlawful for him even if he was to divorce his wife. The same applies with the other three.

Also, all of his wet nurse mother’s kin made un-marriageable to him due to being breast fed by his milk mother.

It is also unlawful for a man to marry both of these together (whilst being married to the other):

  • A woman and her sister
  • A woman and her father’s sister
  • A woman and her mother’s sister
  • He may marry the other if he was to divorce (or by death) the first partner.

For a woman:

  • Father, grandfather and on up
  • Son, son’s son, daughter’s son and on down
  • Brother
  • Father’s brother, meaning the brother of any male ancestor
  • Mother’s brother, meaning the brother of any female ancestor
  • Brother’s son, sister’s son, or any other descendant of brothers or sisters
  • The husband of her mother, grandmother and on up
  • The husband of her daughter or other female descendant
  • Her husband’s father, grandfather and on up, and the husband’s son and descendant’s

Also, all of her wet nurse mother’s kin made un-marriageable to him her to being breast fed by her milk mother.

To conclude: Mixing freely with the opposite sex (non-mahram) without necessity is not allowed in Islam. Having a boy/girlfriend is totally haram. We need to understand what relationships are allowed and what are not.

We ask Allah to protect us and help us guard our Chastity.

Have any questions? Send them into

Comments

Metallica58 wrote:
okay so you dont wanna answer, fine , if I do something bad its your fault, but I'll try my best to stay on the right path...

Bruv how can you blame someone else if YOU do something bad?

missing a prayer is a sin.

If we sin, we can ask for forgiveness later.

But one of the conditions of forgiveness is that when we repent we have the (HONEST) intention not to repeat the sin.

It sounds like you're looking to find excuses to keep committing the same sin over and over again.

sex outside marriage is known as zina, and it is among the biggest sins.
And the prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (Peace and Blessings be upon him) warned against 'zina of the eyes' because one thing leads to another... and... before you know it you've done a lot more than just stare at a girl.

saying that it is not a sin to pray, or that zina is acceptable, is the same as kufr

kufr is the gravest sin of all.

so i would personally advise that, whether you pray or not, at least acknowledge that we have to do our prayers 5 times a day, on time, and anything other than that (apart from when we are sick or on a journey) is SINFUL.

Islam aint a joke. If you don't want it, you don't have to stay a Muslim.

But if you want to be rewarded in Jannah, i suggest you think about your priorities.

Life is short, but we are dead for a LONG time

Don't just do something! Stand there.

Metallica58 wrote:
okay, yes I totally, agree, but I mean, your saying that you have to do every single prayer of your life on time, and there is NO excuse at all... and we all know that peaple rather play video games than pray, but im gonna be in a band and its my job... without a job you cant live...

Think of it like this:

If Allah swt changed even a second of time, you may not have even been born. If He did not make your body perfectly; allowing you to breath; the heart to beat in time; the blood to flow all over your body in time; the signals from your brain to reach your hand in time, you would not get to play your music, video games or whatever.

Now should you not be thankful that Allah swt has given you the ability to do this and so much more? Reading the prayers within the time given is not too much to ask compared to what Allah swt does for. We couldn't even count the amount of blessings that Allah swt has showered us with! So we should all attempt to atleast pray the 5 prayers on time. InshaAllah.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

okay, first thank you for that answer, and second, mising a prayer is a sin , have you ever heard of qaadda??? look, I have school, so I should not go to school and pray? if I want to go to a park wich is 5 hours away, cant I reapeat them?, what I am currently doing, is, doying ALL the prayers,5 times, but the subh and duhr, I have school, so what do I do?, and can you please tell me the defenition of zina? because just looking at a girl isnt bad... I always do this : *see a girl* waw shes beatiful and then I say to my self ''stay a good person and remember to not be hypnotized '' so, if a girl asks me, do you wanna have *** i'll say NO of course I'll ALWAYS remember to be a good person.

and kufr is curse right? what is it exacly?

and lastly , NO, I DO WANT IT I AM A MUSLIM AND CHANING RELIGION IS A BIG SIN , so... yeah

and please, I love playing music, its my passion , and if I go to jaannah you cannot promise that there will be music... i dont know, you dont, no one, but seriously, what I am doing right now is: going to school, come back, pray the ones that i missed, play some guitar,pray the rest... and later I want to be in a band. Lets say you wanna be a doctor and work from 8 am to 7 pm, you cant pray so what do you do?

*sorry for this huge text, i just wanna make everything clear*

okay, well, why did he give us life, why cant we die direcly and go to jannah? praying is thanking Allah right? well I thank him to give me the ability to play guitar... but now I cant be in a band because I have to pray everything on time, well whats the use of living if Im not in a band?... but what I do right now, is that I go to school... so I make them up as soon as I can.

and you said it yourself :'' the signals from your brain to reach your hand in time, you would not get to play your music, video games or whatever''. well, I want to play music, and music to me is being in a band... so ... I cant because I have to pray for thanking God that gave me this band BUT I dont have a band... the band is not existing because I have to pray... so by praying Im thanking him for food, water NOT the music, video games...

please man, I want to be a good muslim, and want to have fun in life before death, why does life exist?... to have fun, eat, drink, get married, or isnt?

Metallica58 wrote:
okay, well, why did he give us life, why cant we die direcly and go to jannah? praying is thanking Allah right? well I thank him to give me the ability to play guitar... but now I cant be in a band because I have to pray everything on time, well whats the use of living if Im not in a band?... but what I do right now, is that I go to school... so I make them up as soon as I can.

and you said it yourself :'' the signals from your brain to reach your hand in time, you would not get to play your music, video games or whatever''. well, I want to play music, and music to me is being in a band... so ... I cant because I have to pray for thanking God that gave me this band BUT I dont have a band... the band is not existing because I have to pray... so by praying Im thanking him for food, water NOT the music, video games...

please man, I want to be a good muslim, and want to have fun in life before death, why does life exist?... to have fun, eat, drink, get married, or isnt?

No, the only purpose of us all being alive is to worship Allah(swt). The ONLY purpose. Not to say that you can't enjoy life whilst fulfilling that purpose, BUT within the limits set by Islam.

Cant you pray ur Duhr prayer during lunch time? Most schools have prayer facilites..

But why do you think that theres no point in living if your not in a band? :s

You say you want to be a good muslim, but that starts with the obedience of Allah(swt) and His laws. As a muslim you should understand that this life is limited and just a test to see where we end up in the Hereafter. The choice is now upto you where that will be exactly. It's not gonna be easy, but it will most certainly be worth it! So like someone said already, know ur priorities!

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

I do worship Allah, but if its ONLY for that, why is there good food, beautiful nature...? and I live in Canada we don't have prayer facility's... sorry but I can't search for a quiet place and where peaple won't step on you like savages, so I do it when I come back... whats the problem with that?

and why do I think theres no point of living without a band? : not really no point but I would LOVE that, its awesome for me I love music.

and if its a test... well I guess in jaanah you won't pray? right? youll be COMPETELY free???? or what...? and why does that test long 100 years or even more!? so , your saying current life, is a test, and the REAL life, is when you die?

and another question... if I delay prayers for school... or my job/band... is the consequence hell?

can you just make me a small list of the main big sins that brings you abselotely to hell? and does hell last forever??? or just the time you lived?

Metallica58 wrote:
I do worship Allah, but if its ONLY for that, why is there good food, beautiful nature...? and I live in Canada we don't have prayer facility's... sorry but I can't search for a quiet place and where peaple won't step on you like savages, so I do it when I come back... whats the problem with that?

and why do I think theres no point of living without a band? : not really no point but I would LOVE that, its awesome for me I love music.

and if its a test... well I guess in jaanah you won't pray? right? youll be COMPETELY free???? or what...? and why does that test long 100 years or even more!? so , your saying current life, is a test, and the REAL life, is when you die?

and another question... if I delay prayers for school... or my job/band... is the consequence hell?

can you just make me a small list of the main big sins that brings you abselotely to hell? and does hell last forever??? or just the time you lived?

You need to re-evaluate your life. Playing music is not a purpose :/ it's a hobby, a passion, a job, not the purpose for you living. There is more to life than playing music.

And praying doesn't take that long, you can still play your music.

If you miss prayers cuz of school then you can do qadha but if its cuz you've gone to a park then thats not a valid reason to miss the prayer (but you will still have to do qadha) YOu could always pray at the park. Or pray then go or go for a while then come back when it's time to pray.

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

THANK YOU, now that is a good answer, but one thing: if I have a show... a music show during praying time... I can do it in Qadha right? but now thats what I do, I come back from school pray the subh and duhr, play guitar, and pray the rest of them, and If I go to... lets say the beach. I can't pray on the beach... its sand, and the thing im praying on will be wet, can I do qadah then?

and, please, is there a consequence for qadah, or its completly fine, no consequence??.
and can you make me a list of the sins that will bring you to hell ? and does hell last forever? or years?

thank you so much, for this anwser its very clear. and dont forget the list.

You're welcome Smile

You can pray pretty much anywhere as long as it's clean, check this out! :shock:

And if you cant pray on the beach then you should find a place where you can, being at, is not a valid reason to miss the prayer. I know it's hard to keep up with prayers when we're not at home, - I need to make sure I always pray too! We all gotta try our best not to miss any prayer for any reason, though!

So no you cannot miss your prayer for your guitar.

We have to remember to keep Allah swt most important in our lives - not our family, friends, hobbies, job or anything else! Smile

Err there are way too many sins to list :/ I'll try and give you a list of some, later

but looking at the opposite sex is not allowed. The first accidental look is forgiven the second look is a sin. This is called 'zina of the eyes'

Zina is stuff like sex outside of marriage/sex before marriage

Kufr is the word given to disbelievers/non-Muslims, what it actually means is 'someone who covers/hides' [the truth]

"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi

okay, but do you have a job?or a planing for a future job? I really really REALLY want to be in a band, and give shows, I won't miss em, just make tehm up later? is this okay?
and ''zina of eyes'' well, its just looking... whats wrong? and do I go to hell for it?

thanks Wink (does hell have an end)???

Assalamu alaikum Biggrin

You seem to be very young and from what i've read you don't understand what Islam or being a muslim is (not trying to be harsh). Would i also be right in saying you don't have a big muslim environment around you? Well atleast you're trying to be a good muslim (according to your understanding), alot of guys your age wouldn't even think about religion and just do what ever people around them do. So atleast you're making an effort

I can't answer every question in your head, cause one that's long and two i don't have all the answers. You need to find out more about Islam, about Allah and why we are here. Do your own research, read a book or ask someone who is knowledgeable or go to a mosque.

This life IS temporary, it IS a test and the next life IS eternal (both heaven and hell). You should find out more about heaven and hell too, we can't tell you about in just a few paragraphs.

One more thing, by you saying you'd rather play your music and delay your prayers. You're saying that music is more important to you than carrying out your obligations to your lord and creator.

If you really want to be a good muslim than you'd overcome your desires just to please your lord. Make sure you find out more about Islam and if you want guidance then turn to Allah, make dua to Him constantly believing your prayers WILL be answered. I wish you the best on this short journey and i pray that Allah is with you.

Assalamu alaikum Biggrin

Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

Thanks for awnsering, but one thing: No, music is not mire important, but why did Allah create it then? We all want some fun in life don't we? And, whats the prombem with delaying them? Im not gonna complretely Not do them, just make them later... is it a huge sin? and delaying a prayer will bring to hell??? o.o

and why did he create us desires? ... if we want to please him well why does music, sports, games exist?

What Im planning to do is: practise with my band and when its prayer time Ill doe it, the problem: when I have a show! imagine its from 5 pm to 10 pm, Ill miss the maghrib prayer... but Its my job, without a job you can't live...

Lastly, why does hell last forever? lets say you just decided to not pray ever...isnt a little bit to harch? (istarfirallah,if what I said is wrong), I love music, I love Allah,my muslim friends are telling me, its okay to have fun, as long as you make the prayers up, but not to much...

so, yeah if I have a job... I dont have the time to pray...

Thanks Biggrin

you sound just like lollywood. related?

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

umm.. who?

Like i said before, you need to find out more about Islam cause you have very little knowledge regarding it.

Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH

You could argue that that is why he is here.

Time to start teaching bro!

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Prayer is the ESSENCE of worship. It's what distinguishes a believer from a disbeliever, so missing prayers is not something to be taken lightly and considered a big sin. This is why there IS a problem with delaying your prayers. Allah(swt) says in the Quran "Then there succeeded them a generation which neglected prayers and followed lusts. They will meet with destruction (Ghayy),excepting the one who repents and believes and acts righteously."
(Quran 19:59-60)

Ibn abbas (RAA) explained that here does not mean that they completely abandoned prayers, but that they delayed them to the end of their prescribed times. So yes delaying the prayer WILL lead you to hell fire WITHOUT A DOUBT!

Is this something you are willing to risk, so you can play a few shows?
If you want to keep playing shows you HAVE to find a way to still pray on time, and if that's not at all possible, then maybe you need to look at other careers?

Allah(swt) has created us with desires to test us. To see where we will end up in the Herafter, heaven or hell. To test our faith by seeing whether we choose our desires over Allah's right to be worshipped. Tis hard, but the prophet(saw) did say "The Fire is surrounded by shahawaat (desires), and paradise is surrounded by hardship." (Al-Bukhaari and Muslim)

As to why hell lasts for ever, its an incentive to to do anything you can to avoid it! But don't concern yourself with the why's, thats irrelevant!

You say you love you music and it shows,so when you say you love Allah show it too! By your obedience to Him and doing what you can to please Him!

If you don't have time to pray (5 mins for every prayer if you think about it), why expect Allah to make time for you?

ok, I could go on for ever but inshaaAllah you got something from it,

PS: You CAN have fun and do the things you mentioned, but life isn't about that at the end of the day. Don't go away thinking that life's a bore or restrictive.

PSS:

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest"

Metallica58 wrote:
I love music, I love Allah,my muslim friends are telling me, its okay to have fun, as long as you make the prayers up, but not to much...

so, yeah if I have a job... I dont have the time to pray...

Thanks Biggrin

I totally agree with you and your friends - you can love Music have fun and be a good Muslim

Qawwali Music is meant to give praise to the prophet (PBUH)
It is because of Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan Sahibs Qawwali's that A.R Rehman converted to Islam so Music also has it goods

My English is not very good

SI... tisnt good to talk without knowledge...

anyyyywaaaayyy.... in the Quran (which is basically God's spoken words) God said that we should pray, on time and that prayers had fixed times. the purpose of praying 5 times a day forever as soon as you hit puberty and not just on sunday mornign is for your own good, it helps you check back and remind yourself of your purpose on Earth. aka. Worshiping God.

so, if God told us to pray on time, who are we to argue this? we just do it. and God also told us valid excuses (being ill, travelling, falling asleep and others i do not know/ cannt recall right now). and these are valid excuses. God could not accept your prayer if you dont do it on time or are not concentrated or for loads of different reasons.

remember, praying is for yourself, God doesnt need us or our praying. and just imagined if you did a HUGE favour to someone and then asked them to do this tiny lil thing for you and when they did this TINY lil thing for you, after EVERYTHING you've done for them (and everything you're STILL doing for them) they turn around and dont do that tiny lil thing properly, they do it like they dont care and they feel like "omg! why are you forcing me to do this, i got better things to do geez" wouldnt you feel utterly annoyed at them and want to bang their head against the wall? God doesnt do that, He keeps giving us chances...we need to be grateful.

and if you do check out islam a lil bit more annd learn more about it, you'll see that music isnt looked favourably upon in the nicest of cases... and others regard it as a sin. so you dont want to be missing prayer for somethign "dodgy" and definately NOT a valid excuse to miss prayer.

and forget girls, i dont think any of us round here are ready to enter husbanation or wifery. dont look at girls, coz, lets be totally honest with ourselves here, we aint getting married ANYYYYtimmme soon right? so leave it, you dont want your girl to have known loads of guys and have "experience" and stuff yes? and what if that girl was your sis, or your mum, or your daughter, or your aunt, would you want her to be friend and flirting with some random guy who cant even look after himself totally (not insulting here but can you feed yourself? can you wash your clothes? can you do food shopping? can you pay bills, can you earn money? not insulting you, just tryna put things in perspectives), forget looking after someone ELSE!

Canada! awesome mashaaAllah. welcome aboard.

PS: Kufr = disbelief.

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Lilly wrote:

in the Quran (which is basically God's spoken words) God said that we should pray, on time

But there is also the Option of reading Qaza Namaz as well

Lilly wrote:

and that prayers had fixed times. the purpose of praying 5 times a day forever as soon as you hit puberty and not just on sunday mornign is for your own good, it helps you check back and remind yourself of your purpose on Earth. aka. Worshiping God.

But if your young and still in education it's difficult to find an appropriate space to pray in and they might not let you leave a lesson to go and pray

Lilly wrote:

so, if God told us to pray on time, who are we to argue this? we just do it. and God also told us valid excuses (being ill, travelling, falling asleep and others i do not know/ cannt recall right now). and these are valid excuses. God could not accept your prayer if you dont do it on time or are not concentrated or for loads of different reasons.

As a Muslim I can't argue that

Lilly wrote:

remember, praying is for yourself, God doesnt need us or our praying. and just imagined if you did a HUGE favour to someone and then asked them to do this tiny lil thing for you and when they did this TINY lil thing for you, after EVERYTHING you've done for them (and everything you're STILL doing for them) they turn around and dont do that tiny lil thing properly, they do it like they dont care and they feel like "omg! why are you forcing me to do this, i got better things to do geez" wouldnt you feel utterly annoyed at them and want to bang their head against the wall? God doesnt do that, He keeps giving us chances...we need to be grateful.

Not only would I feel annoyed but also very angry

Lilly wrote:

and if you do check out islam a lil bit more annd learn more about it, you'll see that music isnt looked favourably upon in the nicest of cases... and others regard it as a sin. so you dont want to be missing prayer for somethign "dodgy" and definately NOT a valid excuse to miss prayer.

You could play or listen to music after prayer

Lilly wrote:

and forget girls, i dont think any of us round here are ready to enter husbanation or wifery.

How can I forget girls they are a beautiful thing in this world

Lilly wrote:

dont look at girls, coz, lets be totally honest with ourselves here, we aint getting married ANYYYYtimmme soon right? so leave it, you dont want your girl to have known loads of guys and have "experience" and stuff yes?

What has looking got to do with getting married?

Lilly wrote:

and what if that girl was your sis, or your daughter, or your aunt, would you want her to be friend and flirting with some random guy who cant even look after himself totally

They can do what they like

Lilly wrote:

(not insulting here but can you feed yourself? can you wash your clothes? can you do food shopping? can you pay bills, can you earn money? not insulting you, just tryna put things in perspectives), forget looking after someone ELSE!

If we can't then parents can help in some of the things you have mentioned

My English is not very good

Wow, what a big text...

okay well, Looking, not now, so when I search for a wife... NOW I can look?

and, I don't get it! I will do my best to pray on time but theres the question:

WHY DID ALLAH CREATE MUSIC,GAMES,AND FUN STUFF??????... if he wants us to pray all the time percefly why are there ''traps''???.

and what is musician beacauses my job... now I can pray them later???

Im NEVER EVER gonna MISS one, just make them later...

and by the way

will I go to hell, if a DELAYED (not missed) a prayer because of my job? or practising FOR my job?????????????

Metallica58 wrote:
WHY DID ALLAH CREATE MUSIC,GAMES,AND FUN STUFF??????

To do at times other than prayer time.

... if he wants us to pray all the time percefly why are there ''traps''???.

You miss the fundamental reason for prayer. To remember God.

To structure your life around God.

Yes, for that to happen, it HAS to be inconvenient at times, otherwise you can just put God on a shelf somewhere and forget about religion until some other time.

But that is not how its meant to be. You are meant to remember God and remember the limits laid down by God as often as possible, and sometimes for this you need things like prayers, even Eid, and other ceremonies etc to interrupt you.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

okay, well... now my only question left is:

Will I go to hell if I delay a prayer because of : (most importantly my JOB, going to the beach, to the amusmant park)?????????????????????

so we muslims, can never go somewhere to have fun? what if having fun like go to an amusment park takes almost all day... and theres no place to pray... what do you do?

but my main question... dont forget it

Hell is not a light issue.

A single small sin can lead you to hell or a single small good deed can spare you of it.

Missing prayer is a huge sin.

But going back to my earlier argument, the problem is less a matter of ignoring ritual and more a case of trying to stick the rememberance of God onto a shelf where it can be hid until convenient.

This has many consequences, its like a rabbit hole that you fall down and go deeper and deeper.

When you are trapped you will wonder why you are there, because the first step would have been so small, so shallow, it will be more or less forgotten and you will suddenly feel hard done by, not realising that the hole you have dug yourself is due to your own actions.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

okay, but what if. at the prayer time lets say asr, im performing a show. Im gonna say ''bismiAllah'' to remember him, Who knows that I will forget? you can't your human just like me.

so, is it good to. remember just think of Allah, if like... your at your job and really busy and when you come back you pray???

and a guy told me: the angels will see if you have more hasanat your destination is heaven and if you have more sins you'll go to hell... is it true?

and for the 1000000 time im not MISSING IT, im delaying... chaging the time by saying Im sorry to God, and always remember him during the prayer time!!!

No, its not good enough.

Delaying it is also a sin, though it is better to make it up than not to.

Do you not get any breaks? you canre ad the fardh in like 2 minutes, I doubt you would be constantly playing all the time.. and if you are, engineer some breaks in there.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Sad okay but... is it a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE sin??? that will bring to hell?

and I asked you IF IM WORKING, MY JOB!!!! and itS a show... live, what do I do?????? forget it???, just stay at home all day and pray,???

life, is suppose to help a man accomplish something, for example : einstein, he had a great life... after accomplishing the nuclear bomb, and inventing lots of stuff.

so now, I will exaplain my future life (what I hope to do) :

First, I wanna get married like everyone, then if my talent in guitar leads me to have a music career Ill do shows all around the world... but shows are ussually before sunset until midnight, so Ill miss maghrib and ishaa.

is this a solution: pray them later BUT the double...? is it beter or prayer double gives nothing...?

and do you have fun????? have you ever gone to the beach or somewhere???? have you missed a prayer? have you delayed it???

dude, God has created fun, as in: music, games, why ? to play with them not during prayer times, well what if, theres no place to pray? no time? no nothing? what does qaada mean then?

my question remains and I dont think it will be ever anwesred BUT by only the greatest: Allah.

Why? why does life exist? why can't we go direcly to heaven?

so, after youve read my future life. do you think Ill go to heaven or hell AND is there like a punishment in hell but lasts only years and not eternety? or hell at any stage is eternal?

Im getting sick of asking questions and not getting clear awesers, but I want to be a good muslim, not perfect because its impossible, but I really dont wanna go to hell.

thank you and I think this is my last text (please respond with a clear final awsner).

Salam Alaykoum.

Yes, it is a huge sin, yes it can lead you to hell, yes you should try to get employment that allows you to pray, even if this is not always possible.

Yes, Isha time is not just five minutes long, so you do get a window of opportunity.

Yes, people are not perfect.

We have given you clear answers. the problem is you are being told what you dont want to hear and thus rejecting the answers provided.

You have to try your best, and if you make mistakes, pray that God forgives you. But neither I nor anyone else on here can guarantee you paradise or condemn you to hell.

"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.

Metallica58 wrote:

God has created fun, as in: music, games, why ? to play with them not during prayer times, well what if, theres no place to pray? no time? no nothing? what does qaada mean then?

Why? why does life exist? why can't we go direcly to heaven?

so, after youve read my future life. do you think Ill go to heaven or hell AND is there like a punishment in hell but lasts only years and not eternety? or hell at any stage is eternal?

I like your way of thinking

My English is not very good

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