Desires

Bilan —

A young man came to a shaykh and said "I am a young man with strong desires. I cannot help looking at people when I am in the bazaar. What do I do?"

The shaykh handed him a cup of milk that was full to the brim, and told him to deliver it to an address that would take the young man directly through the bazaar.

He then instructed the young man that the milk should not spill. The shaykh then summoned one of his students, and told him to accompany the man through the bazaar to the destination, and to severely beat him if any milk were to spill. This man successfully took the milk to the destination and returned to give the good news to the shaykh.

The shaykh asked, "Tell me, how many sights and faces did you see in the bazaar?" The man replied incredulously, "Hadrat, I didn't even realise what was going on around me. I was only fearful of the beating and disgrace that I would have to endure in public if a drop if milk were to spill." The shaykh smiled and said "It is the same with a believer.

The believer fears that Allah may disgrace him in front of the entire creation on the Day of Judgement if his faith were to spill over from his heart"

Such people save themselves from sin because they constantly remain focused on the Day of Judgement.

"The successful marriage is not when you can live in peace with your wife, but when you can't live in peace without her" - Yasir Qadhi

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TPOS — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 17:25

[quote=bilan]

"The successful marriage is not when you can live in peace with your wife, but when you can't live in peace without her" - Yasir Qadhi[/quote]
How is that related to the above? If you're not married?

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 17:32

[quote=bilan]A young man came to a shaykh and said "I am a young man with strong desires. I cannot help looking at people when I am in the bazaar. What do I do?"
[/quote]

I don't see anything wrong with looking,
Boys looking at Girls and Girls looking at Boys because it goes like this

In Punjabi

Akh Lari Badoonbadi,Mauqa mile kaddi kaddi, kal naee kise ne wekhi maza leyih aj da

SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE THE ABOVE PUNJABI SAYING IN ENGLISH

My English is not that good

I would rather look then to commit Zina its self which is much much worse of a sin

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 17:58

To you first point, the whole thing came together as one piece and I didnt see the point in leaving it out and it was quite a nice point even if do say so myself lol.

To your second point, zina of the eyes is just as bad as the zina ur talking about. I dont think there is any distinction between them in Islam, someone correct me if Im wrong.

and you say 'I dont think there is anything wrong with looking' but if Islam forbids it there isnt really any leeway for personal opinion im afraid. As for boys looking at girls and vice versa NO! The first look is permitted but the second forbidden! 😉
(Btw, a stare of however long without blinking is totally over steppling the first look :p )

BUT boys marrying girls and vice versa, go for it!

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:11

[quote=bilan]To your second point, zina of the eyes is just as bad as the zina ur talking about. I dont think there is any distinction between them in Islam, someone correct me if Im wrong.[/quote]

"zina of the eyes" is not zina.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:23

[quote=bilan].
and you say 'I dont think there is anything wrong with looking' but if Islam forbids it there isnt really any leeway for personal opinion im afraid. As for boys looking at girls and vice versa NO! The first look is permitted but the second forbidden! 😉
(Btw, a stare of however long without blinking is totally over steppling the first look :p )
[/quote]

So we should try and make the most of our first and final time, take a picture I say keep living the moment again and again virtually

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:24

no, you shouldnt.

and remember that anything you do do will have an impact on your future life, where you may regret past actions.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:38

[quote=You]no, you shouldnt.
[/quote]

Why? whats the harm?

[quote=You]
and remember that anything you do will have an impact on your future life, where you may regret past actions.
[/quote]

Sorry I don't understand what you mean?
Why would I regret it?

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:41

Living in the momement implies that you don't believe that there are consequences to ur actions. Life isnt limited to living in the moment, quite the opposite. Allah has put these desires into people but it's not about giving into them but about abstaining from them in order that a person might attain Jannah.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:51

[quote=bilan]Living in the momement implies that you don't believe that there are consequences to ur actions.
[/quote]

I do now, I never use to

[quote=bilan]
Life isnt limited to living in the moment, quite the opposite. Allah has put these desires into people but it's not about giving into them but about abstaining from them in order that a person might attain Jannah.[/quote]

If Allah has put these desires into people then it's his fault for doing so not ours for desiring

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 18:59

[quote=lollywood]

If Allah has put these desires into people then it's his fault for doing so not ours for desiring[/quote]

No! say astagfirullah! Allah has no blame. Ever.

Life is a test and those desires have been instilled in us as a means to test us. Desires/love are strong motives for someone you cant deny. Its one thing desiring something and another thing acting upon those desires, which is where the test lies - abstaining from acting upon those desires.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "The dunya is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the kafir (disbeliever)".

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:07

Desires can be acted on in a halaal way or in a haraam way.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:12

[quote=bilan]
No! say astagfirullah! Allah has no blame. Ever.
[/quote]

Astagfirullah

[quote=bilan]
Life is a test and those desires have been instilled in us as a means to test us. Desires/love are strong motives for someone you cant deny. Its one thing desiring something and another thing acting upon those desires, which is where the test lies - abstaining from acting upon those desires.

The Prophet ﷺ said, "The dunya is a prison for the believer and Paradise for the kafir (disbeliever)".[/quote]

I think a lot of us are failing the test because its too hard

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:14

[quote=You]Desires can be acted on in a halaal way or in a haraam way.[/quote]

Agreed but most people tend to go for the haraam way which is where abstaining comes into play mostly

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:16

abstension is only a stopgap measure, not a solution. Relying on it too much is preparing for failure.

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:20

[quote=You]abstension is only a stopgap measure, not a solution. Relying on it too much is preparing for failure.[/quote]

But for some desires that IS the only solution or so I thought! Are you talking about desires for the opposite sex or all desires in general? Cos its the latter for me.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:29

[quote=bilan]Agreed but most people tend to go for the haraam way which is where abstaining comes into play mostly
[/quote]

Maybe because there's no fun in the Halal way thats why we tend to do it

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:38

[quote=lollywood][quote=bilan]Agreed but most people tend to go for the haraam way which is where abstaining comes into play mostly
[/quote]

Maybe because there's no fun in the Halal way thats why we tend to do it[/quote]

This isnt u justifying it surely?

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 19:48

There is always a halaal way.

unless your desire is to murder I guess.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 20:23

[quote=bilan]
This isnt u justifying it surely?[/quote]

No, Im just saying how I see it

Bilan — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 20:36

[quote=You]There is always a halaal way.

unless your desire is to murder I guess.[/quote]

ok..what would be the halal way of acting upon ur desire to consume alchol?

You — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 20:55

apart from for an alcoholic already conditioned to alcohol, I doubt the actual desire is to drink alcohol.

Either to socialise, or to lose the fear or to forget the sorrows are some of the reasons why people drink.

lollywood — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 21:16

[quote=You]
Either to socialise, or to lose the fear or to forget the sorrows are some of the reasons why people drink.[/quote]

Some do it just to fit in with the crowd

Foysol89 — Mon, 5 Sep 2011 - 23:24

Errrmm just wanna comment on the actual thread.

Read this the other day on FB and i think it's very good advice for someone who finds it hard to control their desires. Hardest thing about this though is trying to rememeber Allah all the time. With all the distractions in this dunya i personally get easily distracted, tis why it's good to have good company or atleast avoid bad company.

May Allah grant us sabr and make it so that we can fulfill our desires in a halal way. Ameen

Bilan — Tue, 6 Sep 2011 - 00:04

[quote=Foysol89]Errrmm just wanna comment on the actual thread.

Read this the other day on FB and i think it's very good advice for someone who finds it hard to control their desires. Hardest thing about this though is trying to rememeber Allah all the time. With all the distractions in this dunya i personally get easily distracted, tis why it's good to have good company or atleast avoid bad company.

May Allah grant us sabr and make it so that we can fulfill our desires in a halal way. Ameen[/quote]

+1 Ameen

LookingToSee — Tue, 6 Sep 2011 - 21:15

[quote=Foysol89]tis why it's good to have good company or atleast avoid bad company. [/quote]

very extremely true.

LookingToSee — Fri, 9 Sep 2011 - 12:37

what we gotta keep reminding ourselves is that in our cup isnt milk, but something much much more precious, and we arent going from one end of a market to the other, we're going uphill, but to an amazing place indescriptible. and not because a shaykh asked us to do it, but because Allah did.
everlasting, neverending happiness. just keep telling yourself that.

Lioness of Allah — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 - 16:13

[quote=Lilly]what we gotta keep reminding ourselves is that in our cup isnt milk, but something much much more precious, and we arent going from one end of a market to the other, we're going uphill, but to an amazing place indescriptible. and not because a shaykh asked us to do it, but because Allah did.
everlasting, neverending happiness. just keep telling yourself that.[/quote]

Yup, i agree with you Lily... My mum always says that in this world you've always got to do the right thing, which is probably gonna be the hardest thing you do...Being strong and refraining from desires, whatever they are, will always be hard, but you've got to, because we want the end prize...

[quote=Lilly] everlasting, neverending happiness. just keep telling yourself that.[/quote]