When I'm surrounded by 'bad' company / friends

Please define 'bad' too. 🙂

well, i would have to say that i dnt rlly hang around with bad company...in college there are a lot more people and everyone kinda hang around together in groups so ur friends friends may be of the 'bad' kind....oh and by bad i mean, i guess in a way that is not according to islam as well as behaving anti-socially etc, etc....

so i cant say that i hang around with a bunch of baddies just so i can change them into goodies lol (tht would be way weird haha). i guess i would make clear where i stand on things and i wouldnt join in but i dnt think leaving them behind is necessary unless u feel that ur gonna get sucked in..but i dnt do peer pressure so im good lol

does tht answer then??
ps: i rlly dnt knw wht answer to choose, so i didn click any....sorry!

[quote=bilan] i guess in a way that is not according to islam[/quote]
hmmm
[quote]
does tht answer then??
ps: i rlly dnt knw wht answer to choose, so i didn click any....sorry![/quote]
yes thats fine and thanks for being the only one who bothered to reply! 🙂

To all those who chose option 1, how long would you try for? And how? Would you be worried that over time you'd become used to the behaviour, consider it normal and maybe start doing it yourself too?

lol, im intrigued by the hmmm....

whts ur definition of bad ????

[quote=bilan]lol, im intrigued by the hmmm....

whts ur definition of bad ????[/quote]
I guess the same as yours (apart from for those who aren't Muslim, then obvs the Islam bit doesn't apply to them) but yours seems a little vague aswell.
Just was thinking theres different "levels" of doing stuff according to Islam. If you get what I mean?
[quote=Ocean]

Bad is for me anything that I am not 😂 :D[/quote]
lol

yeah there is but i didn think it a good idea (or maybe i ws just lazy lol) to specify...but actuallly, at the end of the day if the people i hung out with did do things like drinking smoking (i knw u said it was makrukh (is tht how u spell it?) but smoking is so harmful i dnt understand why the ruling is makrukh for it!!
but my point was gnna be before i sidetracked that it doesnt matter if the people i hang out with were to do these things because im not easily influence by others like tht...so it would be more likely that i would affect them with my pretty persona as ocean said! 😃

cool.

And you consider smoking to be real bad. (just noting 😛 )

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]cool.

And you consider smoking to be real bad. (just noting 😛 )[/quote]

noting that YOU dont LOL 😛

just today i saw this girl who i think musta been 16 or less and i dnt knw what she was but she was lighting up a ciggie in the middle of the broadway, in BROAD day light!!!
i was like :shock: i guess u have a certain image of people tht smoke and tht girl was most deffo not it! call me naive lol, but....

I never said I don't think it's bad!

And to clarify - it's bad, real bad. More stupid. But not something I judge people on when I think whether they're "bad" or not. Unless they're smoking illegal substances 😛

Anyway there's a separate topic for smoking...

true, i guess it wouldnt be a way to judge whether someones 'bad' or not.....but when a non-muslim smokes i wouldnt rlly think anything about it, but if a muslim does....i think its different...yes it seems like i am going into the smoking but im not! its just as an example 😉

i have had friends who had bad habits. course im not perfect but very close...i like to think (kidding). But seriously i was one of those teens that did very little wrong, yet still got into trouble because of the friends i had. Point is like it or not you will be guilty by association, and when i was young i didn't realise that much, i was rebellious in taking heed of parents on that piece of advice. But even in Islam we are told if you want to know what sort of a muslim or believer you are look to your companions. So even if we don't copy our friends smoking, doing drugs, having bf/gf etc they will effect our values, morality and if nothing else desensitise us on these issues. So much so i used to think "whats the big deal she's got a boyfriend i don't care, why are u questioning my actions?". Surely the big deal is we don't adhere by those sort of standards of living and by hanging out with these ppl knowing they're not going to change we are sort of agreeing with them and promoting their morality on life.

If friends have no real good habits to rub onto us what is the point of being around them, even if we dont copy their bad habits what is the purpose of being with them? Surely the whole point of having friends is because you share something very significant in common. A friend should be someone who helps you to do deeds that help you to enter jannah and advance up there, not the other way round.

Yup I totally understand what you mean. Do you think it's pointless hanging around those people trying to influence them into changing?

I couldn't vote because I have to admit my friends do some things I might not approve of. Then sometimes they are better than me, so I really can't vote. I'd try to change them but in turn they'd have to change me.

[quote=randomer]I couldn't vote because I have to admit my friends do some things I might not approve of. Then sometimes they are better than me, so I really can't vote. I'd try to change them but in turn they'd have to change me.[/quote]
Cool - helping each other - I like 🙂 😛

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]Yup I totally understand what you mean. Do you think it's pointless hanging around those people trying to influence them into changing?[/quote]

i think whats hajjar makes a lotta sense...but is this something tht applies to u?? as in u got bad friends u wanna stop hangin out with??? but how do u cut off someone who ur friends with but hasnt done u wrong????

[quote=bilan] but how do u cut off someone who ur friends with but hasnt done u wrong????[/quote]
Good Q.

I guess you'd have to avoid them or something? It's not like you could say to them "I can't be your friend cuz your bad for me" You'd sound so up your-self and just wrong. :/

Oh and it'd be hard if you're good friends with them and they haven't done anything wrong to you. Wait, I've come back to the same Q as Bilan lol - How could you "unfriend" them?!

How does all this fit in with the emphasis Islam puts on community and not cutting people off?

Even when wronged, aren't you only allowed to cut the person off for three days?

Or you don't cut them off but don't hang out with them either.
That hadith you're talking about is just for not being angry/enemies with people isn't it? Not including people you just generally don't talk to.

the only compromise i can find is still be friendly with them when u see them in school etc... to go with wht You said and limit the time u spend with them after school and just take it from there????

You don't have to be around anyone you dont want to.

I am jut making the point that it shouldn't get to a hateful place or even a place where you feel smug or superior because of your "greater quality" prayer or something or other.

I generally find that not-as-religious people can be far better human beings while "religious" people can ride rough over huqooq-ul ibad, thinking that their prayers, or higher quality hijab will save them.

They won't - God may forgive sins against him, but until the person doesn't, He (swt) will not forgive sins against others.

[quote=You]You don't have to be around anyone you dont want to.

I am jut making the point that it shouldn't get to a hateful place or even a place where you feel smug or superior because of your "greater quality" prayer or something or other.
[/quote]
yep of course! 🙂

http://www.myspiritualfix.com/vid6kibr.htm

:S They're not themselves with you? So they're only themselves with family etc? Or they just polite and friendly anyway?

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]Yup I totally understand what you mean. Do you think it's pointless hanging around those people trying to influence them into changing?[/quote]

yes but at the same time we should guard our iman right. With certain friends it may be good to hang out to give them the message of islam, steer them in a better direction. But what of those friends who seem to influence you, rather than you influencing them. i think we need to be careful.

nah i dont tinksmoking is dat bad bt having sex
b4 u gt married is a sin
torbaah
hahaha lol

i reply to main post.

i would most probably tell them whats what. once. then just ignore or stay silent when they talk about "bad" stuff.

i wouldnt hang around if they "did" bad stuff.

bad: anything that goes against Islam. and common sense stuff, like throwing rubbish on floor, not doing hw and that.

You wouldn't hang around people who don't do their h/w! o.O

not doing h/w = disrespect to teacher.

i advice them. and i try to help them.

i dont look at someone and ask them if they do h/w then become their friends.
most of time, the friends i've chosen are aware enough that h/w is important and to be done. the h/w that teachers actually ask for back, its all for our own good.

i dont think i really pay attention to that. that just a random example.

anyone suffered/suffering from the "hey...have you done your homework?" thing..and you can tell from their eyes if you say "yes" they'll either outright ask you if they can copy or slyly say can they see it coz they need "help". im becoming mean. im gona make ennemies...hopefully not..but girls are known to hold grudge...GOD SAVE ME!

[quote=bilan]is this something tht applies to u?? as in u got bad friends u wanna stop hangin out with??? [/quote]
I'd say me and my friends help each other.

yh same...wht i like about my friends is tht we knw our expectations, if u knw wht i mean

[quote=bilan]yh same...wht i like about my friends is tht we knw our expectations, if u knw wht i mean[/quote]
What you expect the other to do/how they would react to a situation/etc etc?