My Siren Tongue

RI_RS

I wonder, if I called your name,
How long it would take before you came.

What if my siren tongue ran dry, and my throat was taken sore
Would it be in mere vain, if I was to implore?

And what if the soft hand tugging at yours, should quickly lose it's youth,
Would you draw yours sharply back, as if it was uncouth?

And if the legs standing strong before you, should suddenly become weak,
Would my immobility surely be your defeat?

What if deaf, near-dumb, and blind
Your transformed love was to entreat you
With cracked pink eyes,
unsteady thighs,
and other ailments- a fair few?

Would you take her wrinkled hand in yours
Tell her you'd make it through any wars
That she should so lovingly need you,
Well, nothing could make you love her more?

Or perhaps maybe you'd turn away,
Young eyes scalded by such hideous impure,
Tell her harshly she'd lost any allure...

That inner beauty could never replace,
when the outer beauty you can not even face.

(Just something rough I wrote in a moment of contemplation and insecurity, I don't expect any critical acclaim >.< Just thought I'd share it to see if anyone had ever felt similar)

You — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 - 19:54

As long as you have interesting things to say, the loudness of the voice will be less of an issue.

As long as you treat people fairly and have made connections with people - family or strangers, there will be people who will stand by you.

in short, inshallah you have nothing to worry about (or if you do, working on the symptoms is not the way to go about it).

RI_RS — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 - 21:15

[quote=You]
in short, inshallah you have nothing to worry about [/quote]

Surely you could say that about anything?

And thanks for reading my bloggy thingy ><

allthatsparkles95 — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 - 22:06

What is it with people on here they are really good writers or poets.
This is the same thing that I said to Exception- You know I hate talking about my feelings, so I prefer to write them down, but writing like that takes talent.
I don't know if you've always written like this, because it's only been a couple of weeks since I've joined and I haven't had time to read everyones blog entries, but I think you're a deep thinker and actually taking your feelings and writing them down like that takes sheer talent. I mean I just muddle all my words up and in the end evrything sounds wierd and a bunch of rubbish, so I just end up writing what I'm thinking and giving up on poetry cause lets face it I ain't ever gonna bee a poet 😉

RI_RS — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 - 22:19

[quote=allthatsparkles95]What is it with people on here they are really good writers or poets.
This is the same thing that I said to Exception- You know I hate talking about my feelings, so I prefer to write them down, but writing like that takes talent.
I don't know if you've always written like this, because it's only been a couple of weeks since I've joined and I haven't had time to read everyones blog entries, but I think you're a deep thinker and actually taking your feelings and writing them down like that takes sheer talent. I mean I just muddle all my words up and in the end evrything sounds wierd and a bunch of rubbish, so I just end up writing what I'm thinking and giving up on poetry cause lets face it I ain't ever gonna bee a poet ;)[/quote]

Cheers big Ears

I Don't always write like this, cos I don't really write poetry. Sometimes it's just good to have a structure to work with.

It's actually not hard with a thesaurus 😉

1R4M — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 - 11:34

[quote=allthatsparkles95]What is it with people on here they are really good writers or poets.
This is the same thing that I said to Exception- You know I hate talking about my feelings, so I prefer to write them down, but writing like that takes talent.
I don't know if you've always written like this, because it's only been a couple of weeks since I've joined and I haven't had time to read everyones blog entries, but I think you're a deep thinker and actually taking your feelings and writing them down like that takes sheer talent. I mean I just muddle all my words up and in the end evrything sounds wierd and a bunch of rubbish, so I just end up writing what I'm thinking and giving up on poetry cause lets face it I ain't ever gonna bee a poet ;)[/quote]

I know right!!!

There is soeme serious talent on this forum
We have some good poets or writers

We should get these published or have a section dedicated to them
= ]

I always look forward to make me rawr's (aka Ashi) blogs

RI_RS — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 - 02:39

[quote=1R4M]
I always look forward to make me rawr's (aka Ashi) blogs[/quote]

AWWWH Seriously?! 😃

mush91 — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 - 16:56

i never actually saw your blogs before but i like 🙂
should stalk your blogs more often 😛
I joke lol

RI_RS — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 - 17:02

[quote=mush91]i never actually saw your blogs before but i like 🙂
should stalk your blogs more often 😛
I joke lol[/quote]

Haha awwh cheers (:

LookingToSee — Sat, 1 Jan 2011 - 11:55

First i thought God, then i thought Wife/husband, then i thought Mum.

im sticking with Mum.

and mashallah to all them praises, dont want to give evil eye and destroy the talent now do we?

Great Poem, i like it!