I’m no angel, I’ve sinned, I’m still sinning and I might still be sinning and not be aware of it. But one thing I’ve managed to change about myself is that I don’t listen to music anymore

I never used to then had a low in faith and started listening to it, then felt bad and stopped then started again then stopped then I think I started again and stopped, but you get the picture, I did the yoyo thing.

Ok im not the ultimate un-listener of music…I don’t run out of a room with my hands over my ears, screaming whenever I hear music, I don’t not go into a shop because they are playing some music. I just feel uncomfortable and bad for standing there watching my friends (muslims) move around to the tune…and for me not to be strong enough to actually walk out.

Sometimes I feel bad when I say I don’t listen to music..because there is the two type of muslim friends.
a)The ones who are just muslim by name and aren’t even sure what it is about, these friends…you just look uncool if you don’t listen to music and it’s a topic less to talk about…
b)Then there’s the muslims who are discovering their religion for themselves and trying to know more, and they know listening to music is bad but I guess they think “everyone does it, so it’s alright” (that’s one of the excuses I used when I was listening to it) then I come along and “oh no..I don’t listen to music anymore” *silence* *exchange of looks* and then one of them would go “MASHALLAH *pat on the back* MASHALLAH YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD GIRL MASHALLAH” and another one would say “Wouah that’s cool, I’m trying to stop….” And then quickly change the topic… “EASTENDERS” (unfortunately I don’t watch TV either =D)

So then you can feel the heavy atmosphere and the guilty consciences and YOU feel bad! I mean..you’re doing something good and you feel bad because you made your friends feel bad…well that’s something you have to live with until you gather the guts to kidnap their phones and delete all the music on it

Anyway, I admit, music makes you feel good, music puts your mixed feelings into words and you feel like the lyrics were written for you or you like the story or the way the song goes. I say it, you say it, we all know it.
A song is around 3 mins long right? So you’re listening to your fav song that is 3.16mins long, singing along to the lyrics while God (yeah.. this invisible figure) is getting angry. Now then, I just imagined my MUM, a normal human being that I’m most likely stronger than and definitely younger and fitter, I could outrun her, It wouldn’t hurt if she hit. Well..we’re not talking about our mums here are we? We’re talking about God, the One who CREATED us and…(=O) gave me my hearing. Now, that hearing that I’m using to listen to this awesome song, in the next 5 SECONDS could be gone… wait, 5 sec? I wouldn’t even get to hear the end of the song!! When I realised that…I started looking at the timer on the youtube videos and guetting pretty freaked out…so then I unplugged the earphones, deleted the music stations off my radio list, emptied my playlists and moved on.

I thought I’d replace the songs with Nasheeds…but that’s another story (and I didn’t do it) I’d rather use the space on my phone to take pictures then to put songs/nasheeds on.

why did I write this blogpost? euh...