Advice needed, please(Weddings) (image)

Isha Al-Maghribi —

LookingToSee — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 - 20:53

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]
Why don't you just ask your fiance whats gna happen at the wedding?[/quote]

PofS? how come you're so freaking smart?! why didnt anyone think of that?! (mashallah) LOOL

Suhail (not verified) — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 04:22

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=Suhail]from just these....option A is kool[/quote]

My choice, too.
Anywhom, what about the veil????
No'one has told me about that?

PS- You back from Pakistan now?[/quote]

Yup been back bout a week nw....yup still think out of these Option A was best one.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:29

[quote=Lilly]
i remember a wedding where OLD perverts try to have a peek at the bride... -_-" i' ve never being to an asian wedding so wouldnt know... Two weddings ive beinto, the guy room was FAR AWAY from the girls...no peeping at all 😉
[/quote]

But, one second there. Something doesn’t make sense. Other men come to join in the celebration, right? The joining of the 2 souls, right? So, why would they do something like so derogatory as lustfully gaze at the bride? Lawfully someone else's wife?!

[quote=Lilly]
a wedding where all is mahram to all? Wouah! Thats pretty cool!!!
not ashmed off, wromg choicd oc word, more like disappointed or somethig like that....just ignore me.have fun and enjoy the party!!! (still waiting for invite...) :p[/quote]

Ha, you’re not the only one that’s disappointed! My cousins are attending the wedding in Pakistan also. First, they were happy “Pakistani dudes” . Though, I informed them that Pakistani guys are pretty decent and don’t give a girl 2 looks, apart from their habibi! Don’t know whether that’s true, though I’m hoping it is. One of my (Persian) cousins spilled the beans, that they were in fact looking forward to go to Arabia/Egypt for the guys! I just flipped my lid! Has anyone else like this? Like , you’re kind of a hard person to please. But, when you are pleased, it’s rare. But, then you find out someone just gets close to you to get to someone else. Most girls I know do that, to get close to brothers. Pretty much why I don’t trust anyone any more.
...
I meant emotionally Mahram. So hopefully no’one will look at each other...with lust, would you say.

You — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:37

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]So, why would they do something like so derogatory as lustfully gaze at the bride? Lawfully someone else's wife?![/quote]

I think its more a case of people going "How dare they look at/see another women that is not their wife", which is sometimes taken to crazy levels.

You will get it with some asian girls where they will stare at you waiting to see if you look in their direction and if you do, they will give you the biggest scowl in the world - how dare you momentarily glance in their direction.

Its well weird knowing that someone is staring at you, waiting for you to lok at them so that they can scowl at you for it.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:38

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=MuslimBro][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]How many segregated weddings have you attended?![/quote]
I don't like going weddings but the ones I've been to, nearly all of them have been segregated.

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]I agree, but it's not like guys stare at girls. I mean, we're all family and friends, that type of thing won't go on. Guys are pretty decent.[/quote]
Are you kidding me. Even when the wedding is segregated, the boys will stand around the female entrance and some will even try and go in.[/quote]

Seriously?! How cheap of them.
Exactly, therefore segregated weddings aren't a good idea ,are they now?
I personally would prefer a segregated environment, but oyhers wouldn't. Though, i hate the dancing! get a partner, wth! probably why people prefer segregated.
So is this what happens in Pakistan then? Segregation?[/quote]

I've never been to an asian wedding where they've "picked a partner" and danced.
Not all asian weddings are segregated, depends on the family. Why don't you just ask your fiance whats gna happen at the wedding?[/quote]

I prefer to speak as less as possible.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:42

[quote=Suhail][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=Suhail]from just these....option A is kool[/quote]

My choice, too.
Anywhom, what about the veil????
No'one has told me about that?

PS- You back from Pakistan now?[/quote]

Yup been back bout a week nw....yup still think out of these Option A was best one.[/quote]

Aw, great. You must have a tan then?
It is so totally unfair, I don't ever get tanned!
Once, I 'pretended' to forget applying the sunscream in Egypt, I just got more paler. Just my luck(!)
...
Anywhom back to the point...
Enjoy yourself?
How was it? How is the weather like?
What are the norms? What is expected? Any interesting facts, I must know???

No'one so far has told me what i MUST do, and what i MUST NOT do.
Enlighten me, please do.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:46

[quote=You][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi]So, why would they do something like so derogatory as lustfully gaze at the bride? Lawfully someone else's wife?![/quote]

I think its more a case of people going "How dare they look at/see another women that is not their wife", which is sometimes taken to crazy levels.

You will get it with some asian girls where they will stare at you waiting to see if you look in their direction and if you do, they will give you the biggest scowl in the world - how dare you momentarily glance in their direction.

Its well weird knowing that someone is staring at you, waiting for you to lok at them so that they can scowl at you for it.[/quote]

Odd but interesting.
Why would the girls do that?!
Do you mean in a "What are you looking at?" way>?
...
Some words of advice from my Pakistani/Indian friends:

Give as good as you get. (I've heard about the...um, attitude?)
Keep your brothers away from Pakistani girls. (Don't let a match-maker boss you around?)

Can you explain the above points to me...?
They were talking to each other like "these are the 2 most obvious points!"
So, I didn't want to make myself look dumb by asking....

You — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 19:47

[quote=MuslimBro]Are you kidding me. Even when the wedding is segregated, the boys will stand around the female entrance and some will even try and go in.[/quote]

Its often more a case of someone having called them "take us home", they come to let them know and then wait aaaages for the women to stop chatting and leave the hall.

Nothing about loitering.

Besides, if its in public and they are lowering their gaze...

There is a syndrome going around which blames guys for all ills in society and if they look in a specific direction, they must be perving or maybe even worse. Its not healthy.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:15

[quote=You][quote=MuslimBro]Are you kidding me. Even when the wedding is segregated, the boys will stand around the female entrance and some will even try and go in.[/quote]

Its often more a case of someone having called them "take us home", they come to let them know and then wait aaaages for the women to stop chatting and leave the hall.

Nothing about loitering.

Besides, if its in public and they are lowering their gaze...

There is a syndrome going around which blames guys for all ills in society and if they look in a specific direction, they must be perving or maybe even worse. Its not healthy.[/quote]

Haven't come across that one...
...
I was just thinking to myself, How on Earth does a guy pluck up the courage to ask a girl to dance at a wedding????????????????????????
(I would never ask anyone!)
Especially, when some girls refuse it.
I think people look at me weirdly, because I always accept the dance invite (regardless of my want), because I can see how much effort and courage the guys have put into ask...
But, yeah, where on earth do they get the guts?!?!?!?!?
Salute to them!
...
Would any of you guys have the guts to do that?

You — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:20

That rarely to never happens at an asian wedding. If there is dancing, it will be segregated, where some men may dance in the mens hall (which looks stupid) and I have no idea what the women do.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:27

[quote=You]That rarely to never happens at an asian wedding. If there is dancing, it will be segregated, where some men may dance in the mens hall (which looks stupid)[/quote]

Gosh, that imagery has put me in stitches 😂

But, from what I've described, would you ask someone to dance, If you were in different circumstances?

Bijou — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:31

My wedding was segregated 😃 When its separated its actually more fun and entertaining because first of all the women feel more free to enjoy themselves considering there is not only Mehram at weddings. I had all kinds of people, Burka women who did niqab and women who didnt wear the hijab so it was plenty mixed, but because there was the separation between men and women the women were much more relaxed.

Also the bride can be relaxed about what she wears without worrying about other men looking at her, obviously its her wedding so she would be centre of attention and if your wearing clothes which do not adhere to the Islam then obviously you will be getting 'looks'. My wedding was segregated the first half then when it was cake cutting and photo time the parda went down and the women in niqab either left or would put their head coverings and niqab back on ...but this was just my wedding...and segregation seemed to work fine although I wasn't happy about it at first.

I prefer option A top and option B bottom 🙂 I wore an Asian style for the reception but for my registry I'm looking for a white gown also :doubt: ...

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:41

[quote=Bijou]My wedding was segregated 😃 When its separated its actually more fun and entertaining because first of all the women feel more free to enjoy themselves considering there is not only Mehram at weddings. I had all kinds of people, Burka women who did niqab and women who didnt wear the hijab so it was plenty mixed, but because there was the separation between men and women the women were much more relaxed.

Also the bride can be relaxed about what she wears without worrying about other men looking at her, obviously its her wedding so she would be centre of attention and if your wearing clothes which do not adhere to the Islam then obviously you will be getting 'looks'. My wedding was segregated the first half then when it was cake cutting and photo time the parda went down and the women in niqab either left or would put their head coverings and niqab back on ...but this was just my wedding...and segregation seemed to work fine although I wasn't happy about it at first.

I prefer option A top and option B bottom 🙂 I wore an Asian style for the reception but for my registry I'm looking for a white gown also :doubt: ...[/quote]

Aw, Congrats!
How did the wedding go?
And how long has it been since the wedding?
Nice talking to you, Bijou. 😃

Bijou — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:44

Hehe Thanks Isha (nice name).

My wedding was in March , that was the nikah and walima only though. I'll be doing the legal marriage in December inshAllah, so I'm totally excited for that! Whens your wedding?

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:47

[quote=Bijou]Hehe Thanks Isha (nice name).

My wedding was in March , that was the nikah and walima only though. I'll be doing the legal marriage in December inshAllah, so I'm totally excited for that! Whens your wedding?[/quote]

Thanks.
14th October.

The Nikkah was about 4/5 years ago.

LookingToSee — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 20:57

Salaam Bijou! nice to meet you!

thats how my cousin's wedding was, cake and picture time, segragation went flying LOOL

what i hate at weddings is when you're invited but you dont know anyone or you feel unease. I would be a happy bride is no one ever felt like that 😃

thank you You for this "insight" into guys' feeling on wedding.. OMG! guys dancing... OMG...

Bijou — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 21:01

[quote=Lilly]Salaam Bijou! nice to meet you!

thats how my cousin's wedding was, cake and picture time, segragation went flying LOOL

what i hate at weddings is when you're invited but you dont know anyone or you feel unease. I would be a happy bride is no one ever felt like that 😃

thank you You for this "insight" into guys' feeling on wedding.. OMG! guys dancing... OMG...[/quote]

Lol Ws,nice to meet you also!

Yeah I know what you mean...there were a few girls just looking around not doing or talking much in the wedding(I'm guessing they may have been friends of parents or something) but I guess its difficult to please everyone but we tried 😃

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 21:04

[quote=Lilly]Salaam Bijou! nice to meet you!

thats how my cousin's wedding was, cake and picture time, segragation went flying LOOL

what i hate at weddings is when you're invited but you dont know anyone or you feel unease. I would be a happy bride is no one ever felt like that 😃

thank you You for this "insight" into guys' feeling on wedding.. OMG! guys dancing... OMG...[/quote]

What do you mean?
...
If anyone feels uneasy , don't you have like different sections. Like dancefloor? Music, games, and of course "exchanging digits" area , all that nonsense?

LookingToSee — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 21:16

just you know..imagive uncles dancing...that is just 😂

blargh..everybody too shy to get on the dancefloor, but there's always the bold friend who drags you there...but you need good darbouka players! [this is a BASIC requirement to MY wedding]

exchanging digits? LOOL!

Isha Al-Maghribi — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 - 22:30

[quote=Lilly]just you know..imagive uncles dancing...that is just :lol:[/quote]

My uncles actually do! But they're young, so Im not so fussed about it. Girls have the bloody nerve to ask me for their numbers; totally taking the biscuit!
oh, and the worse, some of my uncles are in a band, so they perform at weddings! aaaaaaarghhhhhhhhh! makes the girls go even more crazy(!)

blargh..everybody too shy to get on the dancefloor, but there's always the bold friend who drags you there...but you need good darbouka players! [this is a BASIC requirement to MY wedding]

exchanging digits? LOOL![/quote]
The boys favourite place!
I like to the surf the place, to see what dodgy people there are, You'd be surprised!
When people come to me for numbers ; i start luahging like crazy.
Bad habit, but it's just like a " you? me? you wish!" thing. 😂

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 - 18:50

[quote=MuslimBro]This is sung by a mate. I just love the humming at the beginning.

[/quote]

I agree. It's beautiful. Is it by the same guys who sing Ask Him?

Rather have that, than my uncles in the background....