Beauty is a curse?

Isha Al-Maghribi —

From experiences in my life, i was thinking is beauty a blessing or a curse???

I mean,I've known girls who pretty much dip their face into make-up, and try to attract guys and get attention.
It's like they WANT the guy to notice them?
Why do they do that?

They try to make themselves feel and look beautiful.
But, do they actually know what a natural beauty has to suffer>?
I guess not.
...
Don't people understand that sure someone might be 'beautiful' from the outside, but what is in on the inside?
...
This kind of thing suffocates me. How people judge each other on their physical beauty'.
I wish i could see it,but I can't. Til date, I haven't come across anyone who is 'ugly'.
When my friends and I are talking, they may address someone as 'ugly'. But, i just don't see the 'ugliness...'

My older sister got married to this guy some years back, in Sweden.
The first time he saw her was, he decided that he'd get to know her. After merely 2 hours getting to know her.
He came knocking on our door, to ask for her hand in marriage...his bride who'd he known for 2 hours.
This made me laugh, until i cried. Honestly!
...
She's 22 now. It's been 6 years since their wedding. She's married to a man, who is arrogant, egotistical and vain and knows absolutely nothing about his wife. And, he's married to a hot-tempered angry woman who loathes him.
We went to their house, last December. All the 4 walls of the house are plastered with her photgraphs. Everywhere you look, there is his' and hers' faces.
...
I used to laugh at them before. Laugh until I cried. I laughed at his and his stupidity. I laughed at how she married such a fool; who cared for nothing, but his image. He didn't see the real beauty inside. I laughed at the fact that he didn't know her age. I laughed at the fact that he didnt know her origin. I laughed at the fact that he was in love with her beauty and not her.
I laughed and laughed and laughed......just at the whole situation I guess. I never laughed at her,because i Knew Allah was on her side, and he had done this for a reason.
....
But, I can't laugh anymore, because I've turned into that woman.
The woman who's married to a arrogant, egotistical and vain man who wants to control every move his wife makes. A man who respects his wife's beauty , but not the wife herself.
...
So, if you're like me, never EVER laugh at other people's state, because it'll hit you back!
...
And, don't ever tie the knot to someone just because they're 'attractive' or 'look good.'

Forum

LookingToSee — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 20:06

its not beauty thats the curse, like Isha said, its the stupidity of people. (but i dont think you're convinced) I feel its the sme for anything you've got "more" than others.

Like, if you're "clever" some people might hang around with you JUST so that you can help them/do their homework etc...
If you've got money, some people are going to hang around with you for that, and when you dont have it anymore, they're gone
Same for beauty, but beauty is more complicated coz its more apparent.

But, you've got to keep up hope! out there, there are people with pure intention, who will be your friend/love you for the person inside. I know we havent talked much, But hey! I hope im one of these person 😃

Anyway, conclusion: it isnt a curse. Allah gave it to you, its an asset mashallah. It's people's way of thinking. Changing it would = World Peace. Let's just keep praying

You — Tue, 7 Sep 2010 - 20:34

I think it is easy to blame one thing when looking back and putting every blame onto it.

A marriage based premilinarily on beauty can be made to work too. If it does not, that does not mean that it was the beauty that was the problem in the marriage.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 18:28

[quote=Lilly]its not beauty thats the curse, like Isha said, its the stupidity of people. (but i dont think you're convinced) I feel its the sme for anything you've got "more" than others.

Like, if you're "clever" some people might hang around with you JUST so that you can help them/do their homework etc...
If you've got money, some people are going to hang around with you for that, and when you dont have it anymore, they're gone
Same for beauty, but beauty is more complicated coz its more apparent.

But, you've got to keep up hope! out there, there are people with pure intention, who will be your friend/love you for the person inside. I know we havent talked much, But hey! I hope im one of these person 😃

Anyway, conclusion: it isnt a curse. Allah gave it to you, its an asset mashallah. It's people's way of thinking. Changing it would = World Peace. Let's just keep praying[/quote]

Thanks for that.
That was the type of...statement i was looking for.
Plus, it seems like you have a calm, bubbly personality. Thanks for that.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 18:29

[quote=Ocean]Isha, don't delete the thread! It's SUCH a good question and please don't take things to heart... Just keep reading and replying to posts.[/quote]

Ok, but do you know how i can kind of like edit the example, by any chance?

Shokran.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 18:29

[quote=You]You used a personal example in the original post which complicates things.

If it was not for that, I would be in favour of keeping the topic.

But you used a personal example and you may no longer want new people to read it, so if that is the case, you can delete the topic.[/quote]

Ok, Thank you.

Isha Al-Maghribi — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 18:30

[quote=You]I think it is easy to blame one thing when looking back and putting every blame onto it.

A marriage based premilinarily on beauty can be made to work too. If it does not, that does not mean that it was the beauty that was the problem in the marriage.[/quote]

I may be wrong.
But, what do you think it was ,then?

You — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 19:04

1. There should be an edit link at the top of the page. Click it to change the example etc if you want. Or just replace it with just the question.

2. What was it why it went wrong? no idea. I don't know the people, I dont know what they want and I don't know how they think. More, I have not been in a similar situation.

But I find it impossible to accept that that was the only reason for failure. It may be the easiest to point out, the easiest to scapegoat.

Maybe it was the attitude of the people, the lack of respect or the wanting of different things? Maybe it was a lack of communications, maybe one was a really horrible person?

Could be a bunch of reasons, but it will rarely ever be just one of them. IMO.

LookingToSee — Wed, 8 Sep 2010 - 21:48

[quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=Lilly]its not beauty thats the curse, like Isha said, its the stupidity of people. (but i dont think you're convinced) I feel its the sme for anything you've got "more" than others.

Like, if you're "clever" some people might hang around with you JUST so that you can help them/do their homework etc...
If you've got money, some people are going to hang around with you for that, and when you dont have it anymore, they're gone
Same for beauty, but beauty is more complicated coz its more apparent.

But, you've got to keep up hope! out there, there are people with pure intention, who will be your friend/love you for the person inside. I know we havent talked much, But hey! I hope im one of these person 😃

Anyway, conclusion: it isnt a curse. Allah gave it to you, its an asset mashallah. It's people's way of thinking. Changing it would = World Peace. Let's just keep praying[/quote]

Thanks for that.
That was the type of...statement i was looking for.
Plus, it seems like you have a calm, bubbly personality. Thanks for that.[/quote]

Jazakallah for the compliment =D really cheered me up, was feeling a little low!

I would agree with You on his point about beauty not being the failure of the marriage. Because, after all, beauty is a thing, an inert thing, well actually, its even less than that, because we cant even touch it or hold it, its just an "idea". So how can such a thing destroy a marriage?

Its people's way of thinking about this idea, or reacting to it, of using it, of expecting things from it. That's what causes problem in a marriage, in my opinion.

friendships, the little sister of marriage, already required a lot of work on BOTH parts to work out and be successful and last, what to say of marriages?

Isha Al-Maghribi — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 - 15:14

[quote=Lilly][quote=Isha Al-Maghribi][quote=Lilly]its not beauty thats the curse, like Isha said, its the stupidity of people. (but i dont think you're convinced) I feel its the sme for anything you've got "more" than others.

Like, if you're "clever" some people might hang around with you JUST so that you can help them/do their homework etc...
If you've got money, some people are going to hang around with you for that, and when you dont have it anymore, they're gone
Same for beauty, but beauty is more complicated coz its more apparent.

But, you've got to keep up hope! out there, there are people with pure intention, who will be your friend/love you for the person inside. I know we havent talked much, But hey! I hope im one of these person 😃

Anyway, conclusion: it isnt a curse. Allah gave it to you, its an asset mashallah. It's people's way of thinking. Changing it would = World Peace. Let's just keep praying[/quote]

Thanks for that.
That was the type of...statement i was looking for.
Plus, it seems like you have a calm, bubbly personality. Thanks for that.[/quote]

Jazakallah for the compliment =D really cheered me up, was feeling a little low!

I would agree with You on his point about beauty not being the failure of the marriage. Because, after all, beauty is a thing, an inert thing, well actually, its even less than that, because we cant even touch it or hold it, its just an "idea". So how can such a thing destroy a marriage?

Its people's way of thinking about this idea, or reacting to it, of using it, of expecting things from it. That's what causes problem in a marriage, in my opinion.

friendships, the little sister of marriage, already required a lot of work on BOTH parts to work out and be successful and last, what to say of marriages?[/quote]

Treu say, sister. True say.

RI_RS — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 - 05:21

Yeah basically meant

Beauty is beauty, it's neutral and just there. It's what you make of it that counts.

So the issue there wasn't that beauty was the problem

But that it wasn't used productively.

LookingToSee — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 - 19:49

[quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]Yeah basically meant

Beauty is beauty, it's neutral and just there. It's what you make of it that counts.

So the issue there wasn't that beauty was the problem

But that it wasn't used productively.[/quote]

beautifully summarize =]

RI_RS — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 - 23:04

[quote=Lilly][quote=MakeMeRawr_8TeenF]Yeah basically meant

Beauty is beauty, it's neutral and just there. It's what you make of it that counts.

So the issue there wasn't that beauty was the problem

But that it wasn't used productively.[/quote]

beautifully summarize =][/quote]

Thanks Lilz ;D