Weddings!

MuslimSister —

Salaam

Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.

I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.

Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt

And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?

Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.

But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…

That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…

Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.

This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?

And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.

Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.

e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc

Please share your views on all of the above.

Wasalaam

Forum

MuslimBro — Sun, 23 May 2010 - 00:19

You must have joined when I wasn't that active thus missed the post about you being Bengali.

You're the first Bengali I know from 'up north'.

Noor — Sun, 23 May 2010 - 00:25

[quote=MuslimBro]You must have joined when I wasn't that active thus missed the post about you being Bengali.

You're the first Bengali I know from 'up north'.[/quote]

it's yashmaki.

MuslimBro — Sun, 23 May 2010 - 01:08

[quote=Noor][quote=MuslimBro]You must have joined when I wasn't that active thus missed the post about you being Bengali.

You're the first Bengali I know from 'up north'.[/quote]

it's yashmaki.[/quote]
That name rings a bell....

LookingToSee — Wed, 7 Jul 2010 - 23:43

Just a simple question

How should the nikaah go? what happens in it? can anyone just tell me how the muslim wedding ceremony go? because i recently realised that i had NO idea how a nikaah go. just that the walimah is the big party.

MuslimBro — Thu, 8 Jul 2010 - 00:39

Check this out.

It mentions the procedures for nikah along with the sunnah's and some evidences.

You — Thu, 8 Jul 2010 - 13:22

[quote=MuslimBro]Check this out.

It mentions the procedures for nikah along with the sunnah's and some evidences.[/quote]

IMO not a very good answer.

It does not break things out into "this is a must, without it the nikah is invalid" and "this is a good sunnah practice, but without it, the nikah is still valid".

MuslimBro — Thu, 8 Jul 2010 - 22:38

The response answers the question as to how nikah should be done according to the sunnah. But it doesn't distinguish between fard and sunnah acts.

You — Thu, 8 Jul 2010 - 23:42

but it mentioned inviting the molvis around. Seems like a piece of self interest.

I read a hadith a while ago that after some battle, one of the sahabis was more eager than the others to return home, and in it the prophet ﷺ asked for the reason, and he mentioned that he had just recently got married.

The ahdith then went on onto other points etc, but the thing I remember thinking was "hang on... the Prophet ﷺ had not been invited?"

Ofcourse the prophet ﷺ may not have been in a convenient location or have had more important things to do such as da'wah... but it still struck me.

LookingToSee — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 - 23:19

The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

does that include the long wedding dresses?

or is this hadith just for guys?

TPOS — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 - 23:20

isn't "out of pride" the most important words in that? :S

LookingToSee — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 01:12

yep, and im thinking, if its not out of pride then its going to be detestable or something like that.

but the wedding dresses in movies!! do they fall under this cat? im htinking yes. not that i want to wear a dress like that for my wedding -.- i want a light blue dress =D

or maybe i'll just do the north-african tradition. change dress SEVEN times. hey! you only get married once (inshallah)

MuslimBro — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 01:20

[quote=Lilly]

The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

does that include the long wedding dresses?

or is this hadith just for guys?[/quote]
Just wear a sari.

Noor — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 01:29

[quote=Lilly]

The Prophet (s.a.w.) said: On the Day of Resurrection, Allah will not look at the person who trails his robe behind him out of pride. (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

does that include the long wedding dresses?

or is this hadith just for guys?[/quote]

it is just for men.

LookingToSee — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 01:39

there is NO WAY a saree is my main dress.

i value PRACTICALITY over all, sarees are NOT practical. die saree die!

You — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 02:14

Apparently in the days of my parents/grandparents it was fashionable to have clothes that were 27 foot long...

(I am not sure if it was mentioned to be yards or feet... so I went with the smaller amount.)

MuslimBro — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 - 02:18

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]lol why a sari?

[/quote]
Isn't that what a bride wears on her wedding day?