Is love allowed in Islam??

[quote=Noor][quote=Ya'qub][quote=Noor]islam is not the real world?[/quote]

It is. But the 100% ideal Islamic life is unattainable by us.[/quote]

it could be if we tried.
[/quote]

Nope. If we stopped sinning, Allah (swt) would wipe us out and replace us with another people, who would sin, so that He could forgive them.

[quote=Noor][quote=Ya'qub]Islam is NOT about black and white, halal and haraam extremes. [/quote]

no one said it is. islam is a way of life... the laws within are black and white once understood and there is no such thing as halal and haram extremes. if something is halal, it is halal and if something is haram, it is haram. [/quote]

Yup. I agree about the extremes. But there is a difference between major and minor sins. Since we are going to sin anyway, it is better that we try to keep away from the major ones (e.g. zina) and worry less about the others (I don't see how meeting a potential marriage partner in a public place, even without mahrams, is going to lead to the destruction of the Islamic Way of Life).

Especially since the 'traditional' methods of matching people to marriage partners is full of crap like racism, castes, 'family honour', land disputes, visa-scams, materialism, ageism etc.

And that is even without considering the very real problem of forced-marriages, which is more likely within a system of 'arranging marriages' rather than 'meet someone yourself and then if you really like them ask your parents if it's ok to marry'.

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=Noor][quote=Ya'qub][quote=Noor]islam is not the real world?[/quote]

It is. But the 100% ideal Islamic life is unattainable by us.[/quote]

it could be if we tried.
[/quote]

Nope. If we stopped sinning, Allah (swt) would wipe us out and replace us with another people, who would sin, so that He could forgive them. [/quote]

heard about the abdaal?

anyway, attaining the complete islamic way of life doesn't mean we don't sin. we sin but we also repent. God loves the sinner who repents more than the one that doesn't sin.

[quote=Ya'qub](I don't see how meeting a potential marriage partner in a public place, even without mahrams, is going to lead to the destruction of the Islamic Way of Life).[/quote][/quote]

you don't?

[quote=Noor]

heard about the abdaal?
[/quote]
Don't think so.

[quote=Noor]

you don't? [/quote]

Nope. All the cultural crap that I mentioned is far, FAR worse/more damaging for the Islamic Way of Life.

I think love would grow in an arranged marraige so it doesnt matter if you havnt got to know them beforehand as long as you "know" them/someone close to you knows them and their personality.

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]I think love would grow in an arranged marraige so it doesnt matter if you havnt got to know them beforehand as long as you "know" them/someone close to you knows them and their personality.[/quote]

Surely you mean 'could', not 'would'?

yeah :/

why'd you have to ruin the positiveness?! 😛

BUT i think it is highly likely that you would. If you've found someone who you know has "the" personailty and the two people just "go together" after living together, doing things and generally being a couple you would fall in love (Insha'Allah). its like when you're dating someone; falling in love doesnt happen automatically, it takes time.

Thats another thing actually, people who call themselves muslims are having all sorts of big fancy weddings. what does islam say when it comes to weddings, what are the do's and dont, in the sense of what can you have in the content of your wedding?

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]yeah :/

why'd you have to ruin the positiveness?! 😛

BUT i think it is highly likely that you would. If you've found someone who you know has "the" personailty and the two people just "go together" after living together, doing things and generally being a couple you would fall in love (Insha'Allah). its like when you're dating someone; falling in love doesnt happen automatically, it takes time.[/quote]

Yeah, but ONLY IF the people are compatible. And 'compatibility' is not always the main priory of the parents.

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]yeah :/

why'd you have to ruin the positiveness?! 😛

BUT i think it is highly likely that you would. If you've found someone who you know has "the" personailty and the two people just "go together" after living together, doing things and generally being a couple you would fall in love (Insha'Allah). its like when you're dating someone; falling in love doesnt happen automatically, it takes time.[/quote]

Yeah, but ONLY IF the people are compatible. And 'compatibility' is not always the main priory of the parents.[/quote]

You dont have to ask your parents to find you someone though

[quote=K_A_M_R_A_N]Thats another thing actually, people who call themselves muslims are having all sorts of big fancy weddings. what does islam say when it comes to weddings, what are the do's and dont, in the sense of what can you have in the content of your wedding?[/quote]

What is wrong with a big fancy wedding? It can be simple, it can be not so simple.

It is a day to celebrate and it is sunnah (or even a duty) to announce marriage.

People just look for excuses to be negative towards others. "they had a big wedding" or "they had a small wedding". Not a nice thing - let people live their lives.

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Ya'qub][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]yeah :/

why'd you have to ruin the positiveness?! 😛

BUT i think it is highly likely that you would. If you've found someone who you know has "the" personailty and the two people just "go together" after living together, doing things and generally being a couple you would fall in love (Insha'Allah). its like when you're dating someone; falling in love doesnt happen automatically, it takes time.[/quote]

Yeah, but ONLY IF the people are compatible. And 'compatibility' is not always the main priory of the parents.[/quote]

You dont have to ask your parents to find you someone though[/quote]

So... how would it be an 'arranged' marriage then?

what i meant is for example is gold allowed to be worn by both sides, is money allowed to be thrown among the person, is there any certain dress code, how much of it is culture rather then religion?

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE][quote=Ya'qub][quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]yeah :/

why'd you have to ruin the positiveness?! 😛

BUT i think it is highly likely that you would. If you've found someone who you know has "the" personailty and the two people just "go together" after living together, doing things and generally being a couple you would fall in love (Insha'Allah). its like when you're dating someone; falling in love doesnt happen automatically, it takes time.[/quote]

Yeah, but ONLY IF the people are compatible. And 'compatibility' is not always the main priory of the parents.[/quote]

You dont have to ask your parents to find you someone though[/quote]

So... how would it be an 'arranged' marriage then?[/quote]

Through other memebers of the family, friends etc

[quote=K_A_M_R_A_N]what i meant is for example is gold allowed to be worn by both sides, is money allowed to be thrown among the person, is there any certain dress code, how much of it is culture rather then religion?[/quote]

both sides? as in women and men? men arent allowed to wear gold.

money being thrown and most other things that happen are cultural.

i dont think there is a "dress code" aslong as you keep the modesty etc as usual.

[quote=Noor]

anyway, attaining the complete islamic way of life doesn't mean we don't sin. we sin but we also repent. God loves the sinner who repents more than the one that doesn't sin.
[/quote]

What?!

That sounds rather unfair to me.

For all those people who go out of their way not to sin.

[quote=MakeMeRawr_6TeenF][quote=Noor]

anyway, attaining the complete islamic way of life doesn't mean we don't sin. we sin but we also repent. God loves the sinner who repents more than the one that doesn't sin.
[/quote]

What?!

That sounds rather unfair to me.

For all those people who go out of their way not to sin. [/quote]

everyone sins...

it shows how merciful, forgiving and loving God is.

[quote=Noor][quote=MakeMeRawr_6TeenF][quote=Noor]

anyway, attaining the complete islamic way of life doesn't mean we don't sin. we sin but we also repent. God loves the sinner who repents more than the one that doesn't sin.
[/quote]

What?!

That sounds rather unfair to me.

For all those people who go out of their way not to sin. [/quote]

everyone sins...

it shows how merciful, forgiving and loving God is.[/quote]

If no-one sins, that makes your point moot.

Unless it's hypothetical, which makes it unfair, and illogical, if God says sinning is bad and not sinning is good and then loves more the one who sins, and has their fun and repents as opposed to the one who doesn't have their fun so there's no need to repent.

Very interesting topic...I agree with Yaqub on this point.
Islam is not black and white...nowadays (more so for reverts) its not easy finding someone the 'traditonal' way.

And being in contact with someone with the intention of marriage is not neccessarily 'dating'.

Its very difficult (but possible) to draw a line between getting to know someone but keeping it islamically legit. Many people are unable to do so...they often end up crossing the line...and thats why many relationships dont end in a positive note...you cant expect to get what you what if you're disobeying God in the process.

I'm very much in love. But I'am strongly conscious of the fact that the peace, security and contentment that I always feel, is because my love is halaal.

[quote=MakeMeRawr_6TeenF][quote=Noor][quote=MakeMeRawr_6TeenF][quote=Noor]

anyway, attaining the complete islamic way of life doesn't mean we don't sin. we sin but we also repent. God loves the sinner who repents more than the one that doesn't sin.
[/quote]

What?!

That sounds rather unfair to me.

For all those people who go out of their way not to sin. [/quote]

everyone sins...

it shows how merciful, forgiving and loving God is.[/quote]

If no-one sins, that makes your point moot.

Unless it's hypothetical, which makes it unfair, and illogical, if God says sinning is bad and not sinning is good and then loves more the one who sins, and has their fun and repents as opposed to the one who doesn't have their fun so there's no need to repent.
[/quote]

Everyone DOES sin, whether we know it or not, plus repenting shows that you're prepared to look at yourself, doesn't it?

[quote=K_A_M_R_A_N]

Just a quick question really for anyone to answer or opinions.

Arranged marriages are looked upon as the right thing in Islam?

so why did allah create such a thing as love and emotions and lust which draws most people to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? confusing or what?.

let me know your thoughts.

[/quote]

Love are lust are for your wife, not your bird.

Look at Europe, everything takes place before marriage.

And the result?

More heartbreaks in love marriages than in arragned marriages.

These are facts.

Even statistics confirm that Prophet Mohammed's way leads to more successful marriages for more couple than the method suggested by Atheists of bedding women before the right night.

You can always judge anything by its success or failure.

Opinions dont really matter. Results do.

And so far, the results for sinful marriages are not looking too good.

Life is a very cruel test, coz your given the test first and THEN you learn your lesson... and somewhere in the middle your kicked in the nadds 😉

Love is like alot of things, its meant to basically be great but it has the potential to be mis-used.

I have to agree with Ya'qub it is increasingly difficult to find someone in a 100% halal manner in this day and age and living in the west. So a lil thinking outside of the box can be necessary. Ofcours thats not me giving u a licence to start dating (PowerOfSilence this means u lol). But i personally dont think thers anything wrong with finding out more abot the person... and ofcours theres a line that must not be crossd.

[quote="Ya'qub"]Yeah, but ONLY IF the people are compatible. And 'compatibility' is not always the main priory of the parents.[/quote]

Thats true. Most are only concerned with their own cultural crap as a priority rather than if the marriage will actually last.

Weddings... are tiresome nad fun but necessary. Religion simply states a wedding is to take place and the following requirements must be met blah blah and blah. It doesnt really state that it has to be somthing small or simple. So why should anyone giv a crap if someone throws a big wedding or a small wedding? Its a joyous occasion and people should celebrate. So people don their best clothes, decorations are put up and you party... ooohh thats rite some people dont believe in having "fun".... apparently its "unislamic" :roll: people like this is exactly whats wrong with the worlds preception of Islam.

Its NOT supposed to be THIS difficult. Islam is supposed to be as easy as breathing and most of all joyous. Except some people think it has to be HARD grueling test where you dont do anything at all and become a bore.

And iv forgottn what point i was going to make...........

........ hmmmmm ill come back to that.

Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Sure. But then again can it also grow among to random ppl who happen to hook up ... the stats say yes. Mutual respect and courtesy tends to allow love to grow pretty much between most ppl.

Do arranged marriages work out more than the running trend of love marriages. Statistics show that the divorce rate among arranged marriages is much lower compared to love marriages HOWEVER couples in arranged marriages encounter FAR more pressure from both sides suggesting that divorce is not an option!! ..... hmmmmm if only we were the religion that actually invented divorce and made it an option..... ...... hmmm oh wait i thought we were???

[quote=Seraphim]
I have to agree with Ya'qub it is increasingly difficult to find someone in a 100% halal manner in this day and age and living in the west. So a lil thinking outside of the box can be necessary. Ofcours thats not me giving u a licence to start dating (PowerOfSilence this means u lol).
[/quote]
What are you insinuating now? lol

[quote=Seraphim]Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Sure. But then again can it also grow among to random ppl who happen to hook up ... the stats say yes. Mutual respect and courtesy tends to allow love to grow pretty much between most ppl.[/quote]

so theres no reason not to do it the halal way then...

[quote=ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE]

[quote=Seraphim]Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Sure. But then again can it also grow among to random ppl who happen to hook up ... the stats say yes. Mutual respect and courtesy tends to allow love to grow pretty much between most ppl.[/quote]

so theres no reason not to do it the halal way then...
[/quote]

It depends how close someone's definition of the word 'halaal' is compared to their definition of the word 'traditional' or even 'open to negotiation as to the form/choice/result'.

Does that make sense?

Ya'qub

ur forgetting that some people here view thinsg as Black and White
there are no shades of grey

I completely agree with everything you said

As for the whole arranged marraiges are moer successful
says who??
are the ones who say this only basing this on low divorce rates???
just because ur still technically married, doesn't mean ur marriage isn't a failure
arranged marriages are less likely to end in dovorce because of the social taboos
most pakistanis marry within their own caste (which I disagree with) or their cousins
and if they divorce
it would to split the family

I'm not sayin everyone should start dating n messing around
but what im saying is
u cant just say that a marriage is going to be more successful because ur parents arranged it

my family, for example, think that marrying outside the caste is haram
no joke
thats what they think
and that's just so wrong

[quote=Ya'qub]

It depends how close someone's definition of the word 'halaal' is compared to their definition of the word 'traditional' or even 'open to negotiation as to the form/choice/result'.

Does that make sense?[/quote]

yep that make sense and its true, peoples traditions are far from Islamic and not many of them seem to be breaking away from them.

Im glad my parents don't care about the tradional marriage tradition. They asked my brothed if he had a girlfriend and said "tell us if you have so we can get you married off that way you won't be living in sin" etc etc and he said no. They also asked him if there was anyone in particular he knew and liked and he said no again, so now theyre going to find him someone they think would be "right". My parents don't care about caste etc either they would just want to find someone who is a good Muslim but i know the first place they're going to look is in family. Although i feel he made the wrong decision by saying no cuz now like you've said before parents dont really think/know about compatibility, it was his own decision and my parents gave him the options so Insh'Allah what ever happens will be for the best.

I really wish other Asian families would stop this nonsense about caste's etc and actually think of what and how their children would be happy with the person they are marrying and will live with for the rest of their lives with. (like my parents did - im proud of my mummy and daddy 😃 lol)

Where Is The Love??~

Love before marriage is very difficult...however after marriage its all about love and trust right?
Islam encourages you to choose a person of your liking.They may have a good personality but are you physically attracted to them?

Love is an absolute human nature,
and Islam is a nature based religion.
Islam only disapproves haram or negative relationships.
If we observe, there are more disadvantages in the society than advantages of having girlfriends/boyfriends.
If incase we have a situation like this; i.e, you happens to like someone, well then you can get to know each other wthout crossing the limits, and gradually when you are sure to be in love with this certain person you can simly propose .

[quote=K_A_M_R_A_N]Just a quick question really for anyone to answer or opinions. Arranged marriages are looked upon as the right thing in Islam? so why did allah create such a thing as love and emotions and lust which draws most people to have a girlfriend or boyfriend? confusing or what?. let me know your thoughts.[/quote]
Who you in love with?.... come on now.

That your family, Wednes? 😉 LOL!

The video, is it your family?