Secret Teenage Abortions

we've been arguig over this matter all evening

my cousin thinks that "mums should mind their own buisness"

my mum was naturally getting uptight-she thinks parents have a right to know

my sister thought that parents should work on their relationship with their kids a bit more-kids should be able to talk to their parents about EVRYTHING-then they wont feel the need to do stuff undercover

personally- God Forbid I should ever be in this situation-I wouldnt want my parents to know

but if I was a mum-I would hold the opinion that parents have a right to know

Ofcourse they have a right to know.

What next? parent don't have right to know bad son/daughters school results?

what if the parents would kill them-Literally?

some are a bit crazy like that

but personally I think that under 16 SHOULD tell their parents if their in that situation

but 16 and above they shouldnt really have to

Parents have a right to know. This is a huge deal. So the parents will get pee'd off.. rightfully flippin' so if they're child is having unlawful sexual relations! Too many parental rights are taken away these days as it is - can you honestly, hand on heart tell me that doctors, courts, teachers etc. really give more of a damn about the child then their parents?

Salaam

In our community, one needs their parent’s permission to get anything pieced…

All the letters for trips that come home from school must be signed by the parents.

Yet for something as huge as Abortion, the government claims that parents don’t have a right to know.

If parental fear is removed then what’s stopping a young teenager from doing stuff and thinking “its minor-if I get pregnant I’ll just get an abortion undercover”.

To me, this law is encouraging shameless behaviour.

But at the same time, instead of stressing over this law, parents should work on their relationship with their children so that in future such a dilemma should never arise.

Children should feel comfortable enough to tell their parents absolutely everything.

Wasalaam

Children *should* feel comfortable telling their parents everything, as I encourage my children to do so. But let's face it, as much as we may blame the authorities, doctors, teachers.. in our culture open discussion and openness on such delicate matters is frowned upon, discouraged even to a certain extent.

Parents need educating as much as kids.

my mum is pretty cool

but I could NEVER tell talk to her if I was in such a situation

I'd prob tell my sister-she'd kill me too

parents and kids both need to understand one another-as long as shame is not lost

its OK to talk about most things

of course parents gotta right to know when da gyrl under 16!

bloody hell!!

its illegal to get pregnant under dat age!

nick da “father”....dat’d soon sort it out...statutory rape....10 years

dats wot i dont like about doctors...self righteous, pompous, know it alls...

let em give medicine, not morals...

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]what if the parents would kill them-Literally?

some are a bit crazy like that

but personally I think that under 16 SHOULD tell their parents if their in that situation

but 16 and above they shouldnt really have to[/quote]

Then the kids should be in care anyway...

parents must be REALLY oblivious if their daughter goes thru this undercover and they don't notice

wont they clock the secret phonecalls, secret visits to clinic, getting large sums of money out to cover costs, and the medical effect it has on a person after they go thru this etc etc

so instead of moaning over the law-parents shud wake up a bit

Assalaamu alaykum,

1. Parents have a right to know what their daughter has been getting up to.

2. If there is a genuine fear that parents will harm the girl then outside authorities should be present when telling parents. Obviously if they wanna kill her they can do that afterwards but if social services etc are present and the case is recorded parents will think twice about doing anything cos the whole case is already under surveillance or under scrutiny.

3. Girls and boys should be getting pregnant unless they married.

[quote="AbdusSalamBiharwi"]Obviously if they wanna kill her they can do that afterwards... [/quote]

😂 😂

But you're not joking are you? 🙁

sorry i didnt type clearly.

I think social services should be present when parents are told if the girl wants them there. This is to ensure the girls safety.

In reply to this some might say the parents can wait till social services go and then they can beat or kill her.

Anticipating such an objection that social services makes no real difference i acknowledged that parents can do stuff afterwards but the fact that social services are present will act as a deterrent as parents know that they are being kept an eye on.

I did NOT mean that parents should wait and then do there stuff!

I see. I shouldn't have made such an assumption. Apologies.

I think that if the child knows that she can get away with an abortion without her parents knowing then she is less likely to think about the consequences.

[quote="chm1"]I think that if the child knows that she can get away with an abortion without her parents knowing then she is less likely to think about the consequences.[/quote]

I agree.

Also its impossible to fully physically/mentally recover after an abortion without the help of family.

Girls shouldnt make life more difficult for themselves.

...erm... noone has mentioned the moral aspect of abortion....

First commit a major sin, and then murder? Is that acceptable?

Abortion aint a black and white issue

it aint always murder-

it depends on when the pregnancy is terminated

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]Abortion aint a black and white issue

it aint always murder-

it depends on when the pregnancy is terminated[/quote]

It pretty much is a black and white issue. It is permitted if the life of the mother is at risk, otherwise it is forbidden.

All IMO.

[quote="Admin"]

It pretty much is a black and white issue. It is permitted if the life of the mother is at risk, otherwise it is forbidden.

All IMO.[/quote]

IMO I think it should be up to the mother to choose if she'e been raped

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="Admin"]

It pretty much is a black and white issue. It is permitted if the life of the mother is at risk, otherwise it is forbidden.

All IMO.[/quote]

IMO I think it should be up to the mother to choose if she'e been raped[/quote]

Well rape is a diferent issue. I assume this topic of teen pregnancy is not talking about rape. If it is rape, it does muddy the waters, but the parents should know (as should the cops).

Thanks, good article.

Wow, my opinion on this matter has changed over the past 4 years. I doubt I even knew about things like honour killings back then and thought parents would always have their children's best in mind.

Still think it would be wrong to be kept secret, but maybe not as wrong as telling in some cases.

Just thinking about the many small things I've done in my life which my family don't know about - and I'd never ever tell them because I don't want to upset and disappoint them. I'd be absolutely horrified if I thought they knew about some of the things I've done in my life.

Something like an abortion would be way too immense.

Speaking to my friends who have been through abortions with their gf/bfs, the guilt and regret at coming-to-terms with it is more than enough of a punishment/warning to stop them from getting themselves into the same situation again.

If an individual WANTS to talk about it with their parents, then they should. And if their parents are open and caring then I don't see any reason they'd want to keep it a secret from them.

But the government/hospitals/schools shouldn't FORCE them or tell their parents without the kid's consent.

How far down the line would you apply that? 15 year old? 13 year old? 11?

(and yes, there is plenty of stuff I would not want others to know about. Some times makes me the biggest hypocrite in the world too.)

[quote=wednesday][quote=Ya'qub]
If an individual WANTS to talk about it with their parents, then they should. And if their parents are open and caring then I don't see any reason they'd want to keep it a secret from them.

But the government/hospitals/schools shouldn't FORCE them or tell their parents without the kid's consent.[/quote]

Above 18 I agree, everyone needs space. The thing is, these very kids grow up and blame their parents for their smelly lifestyle, and some (if they have a conscious) keep it to themselves and don't you think that eats away a person?

ALL kids want to talk about it, once it's open they blurt it all out. and and and ALL parents are caring towards their children. It's a matter of whether the parents SHOULD be informed so that they can lend a hand in the mending or shouldn't so when the kid find him/herself all alone (being counselled by strangers with a caring nature)[/quote]

Why above 18?

I think the age should be 12 or 13, at puberty basically.

Because technically they are adults and will be judged for their own sins.

If Allah (swt) says that's when they are ready to know right from wrong, who are we to quibble, or suggest an age according to Western (kafir) culture/expectations?

I think if theyre old enough to get pregnant they would also have the knowledge and b mature enough to know the consequences.

I think someone said earlier that if the children think they can just have an abortion, they wont really think about the consequences but i dont think thats true. because abortion wouldnt be so simple and easy, it would be hard both physically and mentally and they would be thinking about it a lot.

Although all parents are loving and caring, they can all show it in different ways. Every child knows their parent best and knows what they are likely to do in each situation. I think some parents may get out of control if their young child, espcially daughter, told them they were expecting a baby. This may be becuase they are angry, upset, concerned or even scared for the child or whatever and its just in their nature to react in such a way. I think thats why they are allowed to have secret abortions; so they can tell someone who wont judge them or shout at them etc but help them get through with it or even talk to them about it and maybe they may not go through with it.

[quote=wednesday]Puberty doesn't necessarily mean maturity! That's why I said 18+, the lil dude/ette has seen a bit from life to judge better.

True but isn't there a parental factor involved? [/quote]

I think there's a hadith that tells parents to stop disciplining their children once the reach the age of 14 (because it won't make a blind bit of difference to how they behave at that age).

[quote=wednesday]Fife, When have you ever seen a teenage couple PLANNING to have a baby? If they planned, then that's their decision, and it should be respected because surely they've spent day and night thinking about it all. [/quote]

:S i wasnt talking about planning.

so what exactly did u think i was saying? (and u say i dont talk gibberish; i must do! lol)