help....need some advice

Oldham_Lad25

Theres this lad who comes to our local masjid to read namaz. Problem is....he stinks so bad....i feel sick and hope he doesnt stand next to me during prayer..

ok, i thought I was the only one who 'smelt' him. but im not alone.

What do we do? dont wanna hurt his feelings, but this needs to be addressed

Islamically, am i allowed to face him and tell him he needs a wash?

Forum

Suhail (not verified) — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 03:10

Dont know islamically but if i were u i would tell him about hygiene and how to use deoderent,, nothing wrong with that ,

i mean if its as bad as you say iit is i doubt u'l be the first person to have told him he smells,,

he shouldn't distract others namaz due to smell....up to you how to best tackle problem

Omrow — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 12:50

I come across many similar cases of smelly boys walking in to the prayer hall.

I always have a word with them outside when the prayer in finished.

I told one lad in December:

"Brother, I love you. You are my muslim brother. Maybe you dont know this but some strange smell is coming from your clothes. Have you spilled any eggs on your clothes?
I thought I tell you this privately because other people might smell it too, and
I dont want my muslim brother to lose any reputation in their eyes."

This worked.

Next time, he washed up and there was no smell from him again.
He even thanked me for saving his rep.

People are willing to listen if they
are told politely and privately in a loving way.

Suhail (not verified) — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 13:31

I think the note idea could woorkk,,gets the message across and its anonymous

You — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 15:39

"I know this sister who wopuld consider marrying you, but there is a smell problem. Actually, I don't know any sister, but I hope you get the point. Salaams."

(I would never use that and would expect on occasion to get the reply "well you don't smell of peaches yourself" back. if not a fist.)

More seriously, I would probably try to ignore it if possible. If not... as long as you are not taking the mick out of him, it may be ok.

You — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 18:07

That might not be subtle enough - there is a theory that says you can get used to any consistent smell within a few short seconds, and not even notice it anymore unless it changes in concentration, odour etc...

The person simply may not know and not be able to smell it. Or he may know and not do anything about it. its not like you can carry a can of anti perspirant everywhere...

You — Sat, 30 May 2009 - 18:11

[quote=wednesday]Not if you come across some smells occasionally, and hence why you notice it more.[/quote]

Yes, but the person in question will always encounter it as it surrounds him... like an aura. He may not notice.

On the other hand, a couple of weeks ago when outside, I managed to smell the perfume some girl was wearing... she was walking on the other side of the road!

Overkill I think.

RI_RS — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 00:52

Make friends with him...
And then tell him nicely and straightforwardly
Not patronising or anywhere near mean, just "i care about you and i'd want you to tell me if i smelt" is good to make friends with him because it'll embarass him less...

I had this problem once. My friend whose a girl, right... smelt quite bad (not always, just recently) and i was going to sort of sit her down and tell her but was going to do it subtly... i had a plan and everything.

I was going to 'set her up' with my friend and we were going to go to the cinema and then i'd say to her after "He really likes you except that i've realised lately that you know, you don't smell too good-it's not awful, just that if you want to get anywhere with him maybe you should....'

Except the stupid idiot ruined it. As soon as she walked into the cinema and me and him were standing by the sweets (I was stocking up on jellybeans 😃 😃 😃 ) he went " URGHHH. Youuu STINK!"

Noor — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 00:58

i think you should go with my plan. best one.

if you say it to his face, you are going to embarrass and shame him up BIG TIME. he may never come back to the masjid :shock:

if you put it in his pocket, he wont know it was you or anyone from the masjid.

anyway, good luck!

Noor — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 01:01

[quote=You]More seriously, I would probably try to ignore it if possible. If not... as long as you are not taking the mick out of him, it may be ok.[/quote]

the dude stinks real bad. imagine having to pray next to someone that stinks, major distraction. all thats gona be on your mind is the stink coming from next door! no good. islam is big on hygiene.

RI_RS — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 01:01

[quote=Noor]i think you should go with my plan. best one.

if you say it to his face, you are going to embarrass and shame him up BIG TIME. he may never come back to the masjid :shock:

if you put it in his pocket, he wont know it was you or anyone from the masjid.

anyway, good luck!
[/quote]

Don't you think he's going to feel it if someone's slipping a note into his back pocket? o_0

That itself might freak him out enough never to go back to Mosque xD

Noor — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 01:03

[quote=MakeMeRawr_6TeenF][quote=Noor]i think you should go with my plan. best one.

if you say it to his face, you are going to embarrass and shame him up BIG TIME. he may never come back to the masjid :shock:

if you put it in his pocket, he wont know it was you or anyone from the masjid.

anyway, good luck!
[/quote]

Don't you think he's going to feel it if someone's slipping a note into his back pocket? o_0

That itself might freak him out enough never to go back to Mosque xD[/quote]

who said anything about the back pocket!

he can slip it into his coat pocket after a jummah hug.

You — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 03:36

"Congratulations, its your birthday! Here, have a can of deodorant. Oh, its not your birthday... this can will go to waste... I know what, keep it."

RI_RS — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 03:50

[quote=You]"Congratulations, its your birthday! Here, have a can of deodorant. Oh, its not your birthday... this can will go to waste... I know what, keep it."[/quote]

Give up! =P

idi — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 13:50

[quote=You]"I know this sister who wopuld consider marrying you, but there is a smell problem. Actually, I don't know any sister, but I hope you get the point. Salaams."

[/quote]

i think thats the best 1 so far

Amal — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 15:06

[quote=Omrow]

People are willing to listen if they
are told politely and privately in a loving way.

[/quote]

I agree. This is time-tested and a prophetically advised method of offering sincere naseeha.

To be quick, you could just briefly whisper in his ear the problem which would do the trick, thus avoiding the possibility of causing embarassment. Noor's idea of writing him a quick note is also good. I like 🙂

Obviously you have to give the guy 70 excuses.. 😉 Maybe hes a naturalist eco-warrior and doesnt believe in using soap or deodrant, or he has some medical problem like an overactive sweat gland and cant help it, or perhaps he works in a labour-intensive, BO resulting job, or his shower at home is broken and he has no place to bathe, or he has a psychological phobia of water ?

Ya'qub — Sun, 31 May 2009 - 15:11

[quote=Amal][quote=Omrow]

People are willing to listen if they
are told politely and privately in a loving way.

[/quote]

I agree. This is time-tested and a prophetically advised method of offering sincere naseeha.

To be quick, you could just briefly whisper in his ear the problem which would do the trick, thus avoiding the possibility of causing embarassment. Noor's idea of writing him a quick note is also good. I like 🙂

Obviously you have to give the guy 70 excuses.. 😉 Maybe hes a naturalist eco-warrior and doesnt believe in using soap or deodrant, or he has some medical problem like an overactive sweat gland and cant help it, or perhaps he works in a labour-intensive, BO resulting job, or his shower at home is broken and he has no place to bathe, or he has a psychological phobia of water ?[/quote]

That's only five excuses. DON'T GIVE UP!! Only 65 to go!