Weddings!

MuslimSister —

Salaam

Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.

I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.

Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt

And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?

Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.

But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…

That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…

Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.

This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?

And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.

Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.

e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc

Please share your views on all of the above.

Wasalaam

Forum

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 16:45

oh man... weddings

i'm going to be poor

Seraphim — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 17:44

[quote="Don Karnage"]oh man... weddings

i'm going to be poor[/quote]

Why didnt u just opt for the simple wedding?

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 17:48

Mostly I want to make her happy - she's been waiting for this her whole life, I understand that.

But also I passed a financial mark a while back that makes changing course no longer financially sound.

I have a very simple job, keep her happy for the rest of her life.

Or Esteban will kill me.

Seraphim — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 17:56

[quote="Don Karnage"]Mostly I want to make her happy - she's been waiting for this her whole life, I understand that.

But also I passed a financial mark a while back that makes changing course no longer financially sound.

I have a very simple job, keep her happy for the rest of her life.

Or Esteban will kill me.[/quote]

hhmm i see ur point.

if it was me i'd create a time-machine and go back in time to stop myself from budgeting wrongly... but thats just me. Not somthing for everyone.

I can imagine you keep loosening your tie everytime they add something new to the list (lol uv prob got some ridiculious things like ice-sculptures and swans a gazillion flowers).

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 18:14

[quote="Seraphim"][quote="Don Karnage"]Mostly I want to make her happy - she's been waiting for this her whole life, I understand that.

But also I passed a financial mark a while back that makes changing course no longer financially sound.

I have a very simple job, keep her happy for the rest of her life.

Or Esteban will kill me.[/quote]

hhmm i see ur point.

if it was me i'd create a time-machine and go back in time to stop myself from budgeting wrongly... but thats just me. Not somthing for everyone.

I can imagine you keep loosening your tie everytime they add something new to the list (lol uv prob got some ridiculious things like ice-sculptures and swans a gazillion flowers).[/quote]

Yea you really hit the nail on the head - it was my mistake in budgeting very early on, and as with most things financial you don't feel the effects until a couple miles down the road.

...what's wrong with ice sculptures and flowers? - Ironically they are the least of my expenses right now.

Food and entertainment seem to be the big two right now, I suppose more broadly decorating is the most expensive - which does include ice sculptures, flowers and lighting.

Also the backup option is expensive... we're trying to have the reception outside at our place in MV, but if it rains it's going to have to move inside which requires decorating there too, and setting up a spot for the considerable entertainment.

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:12

looks like Dave's wedding will make front page in the next OK mag

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:23

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]looks like Dave's wedding will make front page in the next OK mag[/quote]

What's OK? - and I told my parents flat out no press, i'm really irritated she invited all her friends and if the whole purpose was to get into the socialite section of the Boston Globe I will never forgive her.

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:26

lol you're overlooked the small problem that i'm not a celebrity...

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:30

well

if u carry on rubbing shoulders with the rich n famous

who knows :twisted:

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:35

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]well

if u carry on rubbing shoulders with the rich n famous

who knows :twisted:[/quote]

lol rich and famous?!

Okay rich sure... but famous?! a couple congressmen some senators and a girl from a sleazy television show about teenagers in california does not constutite rubbing shoulders with "the famous"

lol i'm famousish in charleston and boston - does that count?

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:39

its totally slipped my mind at the moment

since I only read ASIAN BRIDE magazine

but I'm sure there must be a english US wedding magazine that shoots picures of the most eloborate extravagent weddings as well-of ordinary people

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:55

lol that's what security is for.

I don't know what you know of Marthas Vineyard... but the press rarely gets into the city or the private properties... it's just off limits.

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 22:59

I made it clear to her that this is a private wedding - she understands. I'm not my parents, as tradition there will be a Banns which will be posted in the paper - and there probably will be some report in the globe - but no pictures or anything.

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 23:00

private wedding?

how many hundreds of people have u invited?

u know how foto's have an annoying tendency of slipping into the hands of tabloids

Briteny and JLO etc all tried to have "private" weddings too 😉

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 23:05

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]private wedding?

how many hundreds of people have u invited?

u know how foto's have an annoying tendency of slipping into the hands of tabloids

Briteny and JLO etc all tried to have "private" weddings too :wink:[/quote]

lol now over 700.

And people snuck out pictures of Jlo and Britney's weddings because people actually wanted to see them. As engrained in bostonian and charlestonian society as my family may be - I highly doubt people are drooling to see our wedding.

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 23:07

U'd be surpirsed how many people are dying to see snobby dave and his snobby wedding pictures

I'm one of them

so don't be too shocked at deceit and betrayal from some of ur guests :twisted:

Dave — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 23:16

lol well it's going to be kinda dark if it's outside at night so the pictures might not work out so well.

Crazy - so far we are going to have 3 official dances, a slow dance, a waltz and a fast dance - probably swing.

Fitting... it's three times the wedding

MuslimSisLilSis — Mon, 6 Feb 2006 - 23:34

[quote="yashmaki"]coz i get nervous around strangers lol. I won;t know anyone there cept the bride. I'll be ok i guess i'm a grown gal.

Yeah i'm thinking some nice earings, don't wana part with them but i doubt i'll wear them..or a ring.[/quote]

what u gonna wear gal

thats usually the first thing that comes to my mind when i get a wedding invite

yashmaki — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 09:21

I duno i'm not fussed and since you know what... i'd rather keep it on. I'll wear a nice trouser suit just to feel the part, but i'm not gona remove my jilbab or headscarf, too much hassle. Yeah i know i'm a spoilt sport!

I'll wear some make up, and jewellery so my friend ain't ashamed to say she knows me looool.

Sirus — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 10:23

Its National Marriage Week by the way!

yashmaki — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:06

is it better get you married fast then, i think i know a few decent kashmiri gals!

Sirus — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:19

lol....i dont do kashmiri folks 😛

anyone hear about the radio station in Birmingham that hooked two random people up over radio, and the 1st time they met was on the wedding day

theyve jus got married, and the radio show has provided them with a honeymoon to Bermuda, a house to live in for a year, and a car

and you know when they say...'if anyone knows why these two shouldnt be married, speak now or forever hold your silence' .... they stopped a priest from entering coz he was against the marriage, deeming it immoral

and the last time a radio station did this, the marriage lasted 3 months....and the bride ran away with the radio show host 😂

Beast — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:28

😂 Hayder, do you get [i]all [/i]your news from the Metro?

Mez — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:29

He Probably Does!! 😛

Sirus — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:34

[quote="Beast"]:lol: Hayder, do you get [i]all [/i]your news from the Metro?[/quote]

😂 its the only paper i enjoy reading :oops:

plus its free and theres nothing else to do on a bus journey to uni or back....and the time it takes me to read the full paper (including skipping boring/irrelevant stuff), is exactly the length of the journey between home and manchester

so yeah, i do - occasiobnally the bbc too 😃

Mez — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:36

I always read the news on sky Active never read the newspaper caus I do not have the time!!

Beast — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:37

[quote="Fresh Prince"] 😂 its the only paper i enjoy reading :oops:

plus its free and theres nothing else to do on a bus journey to uni or back....and the time it takes me to read the full paper (including skipping boring/irrelevant stuff), is exactly the length of the journey between home and manchester
[/quote]

There's a word for you kinda people:

[b]metrocentric[/b] - a world view formed by limiting one's contact with current affairs to free newspapers

[url=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3357885.stm]BBC 2003 dictionary[/url]

Sirus — Tue, 7 Feb 2006 - 11:43

and you forgot to mention, it was "(Suggested by reader Paul Torpey)"

:roll:

[i]You [/i]people?! :o

and accordin to that same link, you are a poxy moron 🙂 😛