Just to be clear - they want to take on their husband's first name as their surname, and not as their first name?

I find the naming conventions in Pakistani families confusing. The surnames for girls seem to be random.

You wrote:

The surnames for girls seem to be random.

i totally agree!

You wrote:

Just to be clear - they want to take on their husband's first name as their surname, and not as their first name?

I find the naming conventions in Pakistani families confusing. The surnames for girls seem to be random.

yeah I know what you mean. We have random middle names but my dad's surname as our surname.

And I'm surprised but my sister who recently got married wants to keep dad's name. Her compromise is having a double-barrelled surname... yuck IMO.

Imaani wrote:

a double-barrelled surname... yuck IMO.

No longer posh. Very chav in fact now.

But think to the future. It will probably be rare in 10-20 years... so posh again.

Everyone calls my hubby by his ‘surname’ (it is actually his first name) but for some reason on his birth certificate it shows as his surname, in that case I will be taking on his first name if and when I do. Normally I would have taken his surname on.

That is sooo confusing. It would be alot better and simpler if she just keeps her name.

Angelic wrote:

I dont it says anywhere that a woman CANNOT or HAS to take on her hubby's name. I've stuck with my maiden name only because its too much hassle with getting new passport/driving liscence etc. I know my husband would like our kids to be named after him, I dont personally mind.

With a drivers licence all you have to do is state your old name and then include your new name and send it off. No stamp required(freepost) or photo (they have the previous one in the system) and its free. Howevevr, if your licence has never seen daylight then its not worth bothering with. I carry mine everywhere with me hence why got it changed. Passport dont bother coz they are bringing them ID cards in 2011 i think so not worth the expense.

Naz wrote:

I carry mine everywhere with me hence why got it changed.

I didn't know you were married, Naz.

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

I carry mine everywhere with me hence why got it changed.

I didn't know you were married, Naz.

Im not. Is that reply ok with you Sir Yaqub or is it too harsh

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

I carry mine everywhere with me hence why got it changed.

I didn't know you were married, Naz.

Im not. Is that reply ok with you Sir Yaqub or is it too harsh

Why did you change your name on your driving license then?

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

I carry mine everywhere with me hence why got it changed.

I didn't know you were married, Naz.

Im not. Is that reply ok with you Sir Yaqub or is it too harsh

Why did you change your name on your driving license then?

Coz i had it changed by deed poll.

Why? Not how?

i learnt of a new pakistani tradition - the groom's uncles from the mum side pay for him (his outfits etc) i find that rather sweet

I assumed this thread was going to be a really boring read because of the title. But its not! Its so funny!

u read all the 708 replies?! wow.

it was probably either procrastination or boredom. or both.

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

u read all the 708 replies?! wow.

Woah..no no NO!

I dont like reading so much on the net remember! I read through bits and bobs of this and that. I probably didnt read through all the boring comments.

Imaani wrote:

As far as I'm aware it is the right of a muslimah to choose whether she wants to take on her husbands name or keep her maiden name.

I know loads of girls who take on their husbands first name - I always thought it was his surname. I think some first names sound odd as surnames.

omg I know
I just think thats extrmely odd!

cos
the children have the fathers first name as their surname
so
wouldnt u sound like his child if u adopted his first name??

im keeping my surname
I dont really like it that much
BUT
ist MY name
its MY identity
im not givin that up so I sound like a man's property if I get married

Imaani wrote:

im keeping my surname
I dont really like it that much
BUT
ist MY name
its MY identity
im not givin that up so I sound like a man's property if I get married

I think taking the guys surname is kinda cool, especially if you hyphen-ate it with your current surname, its like a new chapter in your life so new chapter, new name? (although on the other hand, i personally might wait to see what his surname is first!)

My favourite bits of my brothers wedding were:

shoving a massive gulab jamun into his mouth

flooding his hair with oil

taking the equivalent of £151 off him - should've taken more really, ah well

oh and i almost forgot - making him nearly have heart attack before the nikaah, when me and my aunty told him he would have to read all 6 kalimahs on his own without the imaam's saying them first HAHA the look on his face was priceless! (he didnt even fully remember 4 of them, which is how many u have to read)

erm you guys know that we are meant to keep fathers surname after marriage, so it is known who our father is/lineage etc.

For some of us like me, i have mothers surname, not fathers, it's cultural i think. All girls get mothers and boys get fathers..strange right?

Anyways apart from my weird case as muslims we are meant to retain maiden name as in fathers surname even after marriage. As for taking husbands surname maybe can be done as middle name as someone suggested, rather than surname.

I was going to change my surname to fathers, but seems like a lot of bother with all paperwork to be changed. i read on sunnipath so long as muslims know verbally what my lineage is, it does not matter what it says in this country on paper. So i won't be altering it on documents, just making sure my kids names are not messed up in the same way .

P.S On side note i took 30 mins to say kabool, well i had to play the blushing and stubborn bride. blame my sister she told me i had to do the act otherwise ppl would think i was too eager or that we had dated, how stupid huh? So i couldnt keep time i never had a watch, only my mate elbowing me made me see sense.

Its funny how they make such things like getting married seem like a bad thing there.

I would have thought it would be preferred to get it over and done with, say yes and stuff asap to not give people a heart attack - which with the not answering for a bit would probably be as such.

Hajjar wrote:

erm you guys know that we are meant to keep fathers surname after marriage, so it is known who our father is/lineage etc.

P.S On side note i took 30 mins to say kabool, well i had to play the blushing and stubborn bride. blame my sister she told me i had to do the act otherwise ppl would think i was too eager or that we had dated, how stupid huh? So i couldnt keep time i never had a watch, only my mate elbowing me made me see sense.

LOL

30 minutes???
im surprised they didnt take ur silence as a yes!

and yeah
I wouldnt wanna change my name
well
MAYBE I would
like those hyphenated ones
if my hubby had a cool surname

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........

Hajjar wrote:

For some of us like me, i have mothers surname, not fathers, it's cultural i think. All girls get mothers and boys get fathers..strange right?

yeah course i am, i thght u knew!

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

i learnt of a new pakistani tradition - the groom's uncles from the mum side pay for him (his outfits etc) i find that rather sweet

i think thats daylight robbery lol. Why doesn't the groom pay for himself or have his parents pay?

in my culture girls parents pay for all grooms things, and grooms parents pay for all girls. no guesses whose costs more! i think it's a silly tradition because when it comes to crunch certain ppl usually girls family members get greedy and ask for too much, usually ask for ridiculous amounts of gold. i think each side should pay for their own outfits and jewellery unless jewellery is being given as a gift by choice, not under pressure. But like my husband says no one gives two hoots what you think their cultural beliefs matter more, but i still have a rant anyway lol

I dont think logic is something that applies here too often.

Like I was hearing a few people moaning about extravagance at weddings on the radio and how things should be kept simple etc, but when confronted with the question of would they keep it simple, the answer was a resounding "no" along with the sentiment that it (hopefully) is a once in a lifetime event and should spread much joy and cheer.

No one wants to be unhappy on their wedding day, nor would they want it to "feel cheap" as that could then be seen as a reflection of how things will go in the future... hope is a good thing.

well you you hit nail on head when you said ppl don't want to be perceived as cheap, making impressions to other ppl is all that seems to matter. I must have looked like i had a cheap wedding, it was the smallest bengali wedding i've ever been to or any of my community has been to.

As for girls keeping make up natural come on folks. How many girls really keep it natural on wedding day. if there's lots of make up used it will not look natural. Natural is when it is barely noticed. Lets tell the truth now the colour is slapped on to match the dress. Bindi type sticky things dotted around forehead in heart shape or something or other. Then the dark lipstick, lashings of mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow, blusher, transluscent powder (cant stand the stuff) etc etc. The looks in asian woman magazine are far from natural, but some of them are good for a traditional look. I think they all look very bollywood in the magazine, not much variation. Nothing wrong with bollywood if you like it!

seriously natural means less product no other way about it. and if a make up artist is hired at a cost of over 100 quid you aint going to say steady i dont want any foundation, you'll make sure you get your moneys worth.

well cheapy chirpy me i did my own make up..i can hear you laughing girls lol. well i cheated i got artist to do it how i liked, watched her, bought products did it myself. i liked it, because i know i look best with plain jane look. But that does not suit everyone and i completely understand. Plus what makes me happy i know wont make another gal happy. So each to their own. But if u have a long time till wedding date i suggest u get a good make up book practice and do your own or get a mate who is artistic to do it for you. i think it's insane to pay over 50 quid to do the make up specially if ur providing your own products. cheapest artist i found was asking or 200 quid. i thght no way i don't care how rubbish i look i aint paying that much money. i had money but just felt like it wasnt a wise buy.

if you want anymore tips for cheap chirpy wedding please dont hesitate to ask lol. i did have a dress i didnt sew it myself honestly!

P.S whats with the limo zimmer craze? havce you guys ever seen a baby pink limo ew with a door that opens up like flash sports car. ew ew ew sorry sisters in case one of u decide to get one.

i wanted a classic white rolls royce enough room for me and husband to be and maybe a friend but no room for 20 members of extended family. never got one though. decided id do with cousins lexus. But guys have you seen the rolls royce phantom stretch limo, that is classy, not trashy.