Weddings!
Salaam
Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.
I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.
Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt
And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?
Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.
But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…
That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…
Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.
This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?
And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.
Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.
e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc
Please share your views on all of the above.
Wasalaam
Weddings!
Weddings!
I never ignored ur post even once
so DONT ascribe what alter ego used to do to me
ADVOCATING DEPRESSION SHOWS UNGRATEFULNESS TO BLESSINGS FROM GOD
A MARRAIGE IS A BLESSING FROM GOD
WHY THE HELL SHOULD A BRIDE ACT AS IF SHE IS DEPRESSED/SAD AND UNGRATEFUL
GOD DOES NOT LIKE THOSE WHO ARE UNGRATEFUL-THIS IS QURANIC TEACHINGS
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT MYSELF
and Keep ur cultural crap to urself
its obvious that ur a backwards/cultural/sexist Paki
but ur entitled to ur freaky cultural practices
its a free world
Fatwa's don't exist on common sense stuff-everyone knows that
its of no surpirse that ur weirdo beliefs are dismissed by most people
Weddings!
i hve had enough of reading ur posts on this topic lady.
You still havent proved it is haraam for her to be shy or look sad.
You obviously have issues with pakistan. I m sorry for that. Btw are you from the sect who do death anniversaries for your saints, eat plates of halwa and do so-called milad sessions, and leave food at graves?
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who's arguing about being "shy"
u seeing stuff that aint there?
no one's had an issue with that
we're agueing over u ADVOCATING being sad/depressed
I've never attended a grave in my life/nor have I celebrated anyones death anniversery and I LOVE khajar (carrot) halwa-I'm gonna get mum to make it tonight
and I do attend Milads
so whats ur point? hats that got to do with ur fetish for depressed brides?
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pls maintain some decency in language and refrain from words such as fetish they are crude and uncalled for
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]I never ignored ur post even once
so DONT ascribe what alter ego used to do to me
ADVOCATING DEPRESSION SHOWS UNGRATEFULNESS TO BLESSINGS FROM GOD
A MARRAIGE IS A BLESSING FROM GOD
WHY THE HELL SHOULD A BRIDE ACT AS IF SHE IS DEPRESSED/SAD AND UNGRATEFUL
GOD DOES NOT LIKE THOSE WHO ARE UNGRATEFUL-THIS IS QURANIC TEACHINGS
HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REPEAT MYSELF
and Keep ur cultural crap to urself
its obvious that ur a backwards/cultural/sexist Paki
but ur entitled to ur freaky cultural practices
its a free world
Fatwa's don't exist on common sense stuff-everyone knows that
its of no surpirse that ur weirdo beliefs are dismissed by most people[/quote]
You tell him.... but he wont listen, or agree... or vice versa, so best to call it a day...
we've all had our say...before tempers get out of control
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Lol!
Dont worry my temper isnt going anywhere, rather I am amused. Thank you for providing me with som light relief Forum.
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[quote="Medievalist"]Lol!
Dont worry my temper isnt going anywhere, rather I am amused. Thank you for providing me with som light relief Forum.[/quote]
you're amused easily arent you 😃
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well wen dealing with jokers i think amusement is the expected response!
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[quote="Medievalist"]well wen dealing with jokers i think amusement is the expected response![/quote]
Well that and waiting for some1 to tell an knock knock joke.
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[quote="naj"][quote="Hay-DUH"]LOL, medievalist.....i urge you to return to the realms you came from, you are clearly not from this era.
i agree on keeping things simple, and i liked the way the wedding MuslimSis went was conducted....especially the nasheeds.
why must you look sad on your wedding day? to most people its a day off happiness!! get with the times lad.
no harm in having a little fun as long as nothing Haraam is done....i dont like the whole sing n dance myself, but in a womens only zone i'd just about allow it (one-off occasion).
Medieval, no1 will remember your wedding day!![/quote]
totally agree....your wedding days the biggest turn in your life u must enjoy the day coz it a one in a life time mission[/quote]
she disagreed with med
:shock: :shock: :shock:
lol...couldnt help findin this thread.....sad marriage days lol
😂
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LOL
man this thread was hot 8)
but hang on a min-
she dont believe in depressed brides-he does
how is that gonna work :!:
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😂 - its what i will forever remember him for
maybe thats why it didnt work
i thought she gettin married 2 sum1 else..... :?
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I re read this entire thread-
it was fascinating-
if I was getting married-I'd prob cry for a month prior to the wedding 😢
but on the wedding day its important for the bride to look happy and not cry and ruin her make up-I will be happy on my wedding day as I'd only ever marry the man I want to be with
so whats there not to be happy about-
I'd only cry on my wedding day if I was being forced-which would never in a million years happen
Weddings!
I think according to indopak culture, wat Med is saying is considered the norm.
I remember wen my cuzn was getn married, she sed on her wedding day she gna b happy n not cry etc, n v had a lil bet too (between guys n girls in the family) n it looked astho she asmost won it, n she didnt cry, .....Until...
wen the bride goes to the car n shes gna go to her new house etc. She started crying n sobbing. Evryone asked her a few weeks later, n she sed she cudnt help but cry cuz she knew she wudnt c her family in ages, altho she wasnt moving too far. She thought about how she'd miss her mum n evrythin her mum duz for her, n how her life was bout to change...
I remember another cuzns wedding (female again) she didnt cry the whole wedding day, n wen everyone starts crying she was laffing and joking, and after seeing all this the aunty jee's had a field day with it sayin modern girls r this that the other, n they hav no feelings etc.
So basically if ladies dunt cry on ther wedding day, the aunty jee's think they r abnormal
Weddings!
salaam
wats with the rice throwing thats sooo haraam,and its totally cultural i find it really annoying when brides do that at weddings. i mean its Rizak from Allah they throw it then ppl walk all over it shock i dont get the significance of it any way, any 1 know y they do it!!!
Weddings!
Salaam
[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam wats with the rice throwing thats sooo haraam,and its totally cultural i find it really annoying when brides do that at weddings. i mean its Rizak from Allah they throw it then ppl walk all over it :shock: i dont get the significance of it any way, any 1 know y they do it!!![/quote]
As far as I know, it represents the fact that in the bride's father's house there will be one less person, therefore there will be more barkat in the food' ie it will increase.
Considering what the ritual represents, it makes me sick that its still carried out.
Wasalaam
Weddings!
every bride cries at the rukhsati time - not because shes sad/unhappy but because leaving your parents home in which u have spent all your life growing up with mum, dad, bro, sis etc is a very emotional thing ta have ta go through....but once shes left then its all jolly crackers 😃 its just that moment innit lol
regarding the rice throwing - i soooo dont understand that apparently iv heard that the brides bro's stand behind her and she throws it on them so that their blessed in their marriage or whatever :shock: stupid baseless traditions
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[quote="razor"]
I remember another cuzns wedding (female again) she didnt cry the whole wedding day, n wen everyone starts crying she was laffing and joking, and after seeing all this the aunty jee's had a field day with it sayin modern girls r this that the other, n they hav no feelings etc.
So basically if ladies dunt cry on ther wedding day, the aunty jee's think they r abnormal[/quote]
I can understand being upset at the Ruksati. I can understand crying for months before the wedding takes place.
But the mentality stated above is something that I can't understand. I strongly dislike the "modern girl" accusation. People ascribe it at the most minor things.
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[quote="Fatima"]
As far as I know, it represents the fact that in the bride's father's house there will be one less person, therefore there will be more barkat in the food' ie it will increase.
Considering what the ritual represents, it makes me sick that its still carried out.
[/quote]
I didnt know that that was the message behind it. If thats true, then its SO wrong.
I like the English confetti thing though.
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[quote="MuslimSister"]I like the English confetti thing though.[/quote]
yeh thats nice - did that on halas wedding
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salaam
id prefer real flower petals, especially roses lol roll
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[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam
id prefer real flower petals, especially roses lol :roll:[/quote]
we had petals 2 - the fake ones :roll: looked just as good though 😂
Weddings!
Call me cold hearted but i didn't really full blown cry during my wedding. I sobbed a bit in the car but as i left the house i wasn't in fits of tears as is the norm. I;d like to point out in the asian culture girls are expected to express sadness in dramatic effect to please the audience, lest the god forbid think she's "happily" being wed. I guess it's a sign of being i duno not girly enuff or ungrateful to one's parents by refusing to express sadness at parting with the family and home.
So some girls genuinely bawl their eyes out and even faint. Whilst others just put on the water works for good effect. And others like me who have always found it difficult to cry in public shed the most tears in private. So yeah i cried once i reached hubbys home and it hit me that i was married and that things would never be the same again.
But i'm in the same town as my family, literally a short walk away so maybe that was one reason i held it together so well.
Weddings!
[quote="yashmaki"]Call me cold hearted but i didn't really full blown cry during my wedding. I sobbed a bit in the car but as i left the house i wasn't in fits of tears as is the norm. I;d like to point out in the asian culture girls are expected to express sadness in dramatic effect to please the audience, lest the god forbid think she's "happily" being wed. I guess it's a sign of being i duno not girly enuff or ungrateful to one's parents by refusing to express sadness at parting with the family and home.
So some girls genuinely bawl their eyes out and even faint. Whilst others just put on the water works for good effect. And others like me who have always found it difficult to cry in public shed the most tears in private. So yeah i cried once i reached hubbys home and it hit me that i was married and that things would never be the same again.
But i'm in the same town as my family, literally a short walk away so maybe that was one reason i held it together so well.[/quote]
Im like you, i cant cry in public, people must thought of me as heartless when i didnt bawl my eyes out at my Dads funeral but thats just not me! My elder sister cried so much at her rukhsati she literally cried buckets, but i knw when i get married i wont cry as much if not at all
One of my cousins didnt cry at all at her rukhsati and maybe some elders talked, i dont know, but i dont understand the big deal if a bride decides nnot too cry
Some of my married cousins have said that on the wedding day they are naturally upset coz they are leaving their parental home, their life is changing forever etc etc and thats why they appear upset but then on the Walima they are the most happiest brides about!
I dont think a depressed bride looks that good but at the same time an over jolly bride doesnt look either, a shy happy bride IMO looks nice!
Weddings!
[quote="yashmaki"] So yeah i cried once i reached hubbys home and it hit ried and that things would never be the same again.[/quote]
(song) Things will never be the same again yeh yeh!!! 😃
Sorry had to do that could not help myself?
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[quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam
id prefer real flower petals, especially roses lol :roll:[/quote]
picky women :roll: :roll: 😛
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[quote="Hayder on Holiday"][quote="Saadia Khan"]salaam
id prefer real flower petals, especially roses lol :roll:[/quote]
picky women :roll: :roll: :P[/quote]
[color=indigo]lollzzz[/color] 😂 😂
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go around asking if anyones got a cold. If you get a bklank stare ask them do they have the sniffles.
I notice the crying has to be helped on its way. Just remind people. Find a victim, and its contagious!
:twisted:
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il have no prob crying lol
[quote="Darth Hayder"]. he never said its islamic, nor can you prove its unislamic.
[/quote]
thank you brother Darth
yes seraph i am a bit old fashioned. every1 has their own likes and dislikes , so long as i m not hurting any1 or making it an obligation i dont see what the big deal is.
Like in our MP culture women when dressing up literally drip in gold with loads of jewellery on, i think its something to do with the fact that we were so poor before and now have so much money relaitively that we dont know what to do with it. But does it hurt any1 that i want my wife to be to wear loads of jewellery, does it hurt any1 that i want her to tie flowers in her hair, wear mehndi on her hand and be feminine as possible? no so it shouldnt be an issue for others to get worked up abt.
Btw in SOME things i am old-fashioned, or too paki-cultural but other htings i m not in. Eg all those shrines and festivals of saints i dont agree with, so even though the harmless cultural practices i like, i dont support the innovations!