Weddings!
Salaam
Its wedding season, many weddings are taking place these days.
I’ve always really loved weddings; they’re such joyous occasions…. However, I do have some issues regarding weddings that I wish to raise.
Firstly, the extravagance that takes place these days is unbelievable…I’m not advocating being a cheapskate, but one should really spend according to their means and should not splash out unnecessary things i.e. hiring out numerous limo’s, getting ice sculptures carved, hiring out extremely expensive venues in the countryside... which all puts people into debt
And why are weddings SO long? How long does it say to say “Kabool”? Must weddings drag on for hours and hours?
Dancing is another issue…personally I love dancing even though my parents always tell me not to…..I don’t see a problem with dancing if there are no males present and if nothing gets recording….I don’t know what Islam says about this though.
But I know that dancing in front of boys is definitely wrong. It’s not right for a woman to dance in front of her dad, uncles, cousins and other strange men…
That’s another thing, why aren’t all weddings segregated? If they were all segregated, women could wear/do whatever they wanted to without any restrictions…
Also, to me weddings are all about the bride. But why is it that, people rate the bride when she enters the wedding hall. Everybody cranes their neck and falls all over themselves to see if the guy's wife-to-be is fit or not.
This is so wrong, what business do strange men have in the Fitness of another man's women!?
And then after everyone rates her she has to sit there like a doll for hours and hours getting bogged out by everyone. Again, ALL weddings should be segregated.
Also, I’ve always believed that if any aspect of culture does not contradict the teachings of Islam then there is nothing wrong with it…and I’ve always been a fan of the “Mehndi” ritual….But some of the rituals that seem to go on in weddings seem to stem out of superstition…or are just plain ridiculous.
e.g taking money and twirling it around the bride/groom's head to take off "nazaar" (the evil eye), oiling the door before the bride enters the home, throwing rice etc etc
Please share your views on all of the above.
Wasalaam
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i gets ya.
but watch an ancient pakistani wedding video....i think you get what he means. his medieval prefrences derive from culture and not religion. like he said, his grannies and aunts like it that way, and i can respect that. as long as his wife to be is happy then no qualms
Weddings!
[quote="Omrow"]Salam
[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]can someone OTHER then the medievilist give me a Fatwa on women dancing in front of OTHER women in weddings[/quote]
Wedding is a SOLEMN occasion.
And, in case you didnt know, let me break it to you:
Dancing is NOT a sign of solemnity.
God !!
Omrow[/quote]
WHY ARE WEDDINGS A SOLEMN OCCASION!!!!!!
Why the hell do u people advocate being sad
the bride would ONLY be sad if she aint happy with the mouse she is getting married to
why do u people wish for brides to be depressed
do you guys not WANT the bride to be happy that she's getting married to you?
:evil:
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I was watching a programme last night on channel two called "World weddings"
they normally follow a culture and do a documentary on their wedding
I've seen a gypsy style wedding in the past
last night they followed a kurdish man getting maried in a very backwards village
according to customs after the wedding the bride is not allowed to show any happiness for a month-for one month she must "grieve" for the family that she has left behind
this programme reminded me of some of the weirdo's on this forum :roll:
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the above post reminded me of some of the intolerant to other cultures people on this forum
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[quote="Medievalist"]the above post reminded me of some of the intolerant to other cultures people on this forum[/quote]
so I'm intolerent to cultures that CONTRADICT the teachings of Islam
big deal- :roll:
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please provide evidence that it is anti islamic.
I thought u ppl were of the opinion that if it is not explicitly mentioned as forbidden then its allowed like ur death festivals, birthdays, dancing at ewddings?
suddenly, even though its not written anywhere ''thou shalt not have a sad looking bride at her wedding'' it is still contradictory to islam.
amazing how ppl are selective in their choices of what is permitted and what not.
we arent letting our personal preference dictate religion are we?
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[quote="MuslimSister"]
We are told to that we should “rejoice” in the “favour and mercy of Allah”.
And who wouldn’t agree that a marriage is a “favour and mercy” from Allah (swt).
We are also told to manifest gratefulness on all the blessings that Allah (swt) has bestowed upon us…Allah (swt) does not like those who are ungrateful.
Therefore to advocate depression on the brides wedding day contradicts the teachings of Islam.
[/quote]
the above are quranic teachings
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just because she looks sad doesnt mean she is being ungrateful.
please provide a scholars fatwa that looking sad is forbidden.
othrewise put up with it. dont start issuing ur own fatawa plz
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yeh whenever dad gives me a present instead of looking happy I look sad-
that shows how "grateful" I am for it
just appply a bit of common sense to this debate
smiling=being gratful and happy
being sad=being unhappy and ungrateful
:roll:
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I can see why women in some cultures would look sad on their wedding days.
1, They are about to leave their parents' home.
2, They are going to become slaves of their in-laws.
3, They will probably suffer domestic violence.
4, They will be confined to their homes.
5, They are going to have to produce and bring up dozens of children.
et etc
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i m GRATEFUL for ur educating me, just once more provide a Muftis fatwa saying her looking sad is forbidden and contradictory to islam. Please dont go 'pulling an AS'
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dont need a Mufti to tell me that when your HAPPY u SMILE
when u are UNHAPPY ur look sad
when u are GRATEFUL u look happy
when u are UNGRATEFUL u look sad/depressed
Mufti provide Islamic rulings
they dont teach u common sense :roll:
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[quote="irfghan"]I can see why women in some cultures would look sad on their wedding days.
1, They are about to leave their parents' home.
2, They are going to become slaves of their in-laws.
3, They will probably suffer domestic violence.
4, They will be confined to their homes.
5, They are going to have to produce and bring up dozens of children.
et etc[/quote]
I agree with u
May God keep us away from such backwards cultures and practices
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please keep ur funny remarks to urself!
Provide me wth a fatwa saying that she cant look sad at her wedding. y cant u answer my qsn.
trying to ''pull an AS?''
i want a fatwa saying she cant look sad and that it contradicts islam
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="irfghan"]I can see why women in some cultures would look sad on their wedding days.
1, They are about to leave their parents' home.
2, They are going to become slaves of their in-laws.
3, They will probably suffer domestic violence.
4, They will be confined to their homes.
5, They are going to have to produce and bring up dozens of children.
et etc[/quote]
I agree with u
May God keep us away from such backwards cultures and practices[/quote]
yeah, i dunno why Medieval wants Muslim women to look sad and shy on their wedding day? Crazy! If it is cultural , that doesnt mean its right. But here in the UK we dont have to follow a paki-cultur eof being sad..... yes be sad when bride has to leave her family...but not before that...enjoy the greatest day of her life!
Medieval is this just your view or view of your scholars and your madrassah?
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get a life u backwards boy
if u get ur kicks outta desiring a depressed and sad bride then so be it
I pray that ur bride will be depressed on her wedding day-just the way u want
advocate sadness and depression-its ur life
but I believe BASED on quranic verses that ORDER us to "rejoice" on Gods "mercy and blessings"-it is WRONG to advocate depression for brides
dont need a Mufti to state the obvious :roll:
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[quote="Medievalist"]i want a fatwa saying she cant look sad and that it contradicts islam[/quote]
I'm pretty sure there's no such fatwa.
But marriage is supposed to be a good thing. Getting married fulfills a religious duty. Weddings are supposed to be happy occasions.
Looking sad and depressed goes against the spirit of doing something good, fulfilling a duty, being happy.
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[quote="irfghan"][quote="Medievalist"]i want a fatwa saying she cant look sad and that it contradicts islam[/quote]
I'm pretty sure there's no such fatwa.
.[/quote]
thats cos we dont need Fatwa's to state the obvious-stuff that is SUPPOSED to be common sense
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[quote="TheRevivalEditor"]
Medieval is this just your view or view of your scholars and your madrassah?[/quote]
As i have mentioned before this is a PERSONAL PREFERENCE. I have explicitly mentioned that she doesnt HAVE to look sad so plz get with my earlier posts.
My point is I want MuslimSisLilSis to provide a fatwa or something of similar weight to prove that her looking sad is contradictory to islam. Its a simple request. y is she pulling an AS.
My stance: she can look happy, she can look sad nothing rong with it. My PREFERENCE is she looks shy.
Muslims Sis lIL Sis: plz provide fatwa that says she is forbidden to look sad. simple qsn.
as far as im concerned im the one whose being open here cos i say she can look how she likes, the other ones got issues with her looking sad. so editor dont attack me without reading my posts cos its seems to me that u ppl are out to get me. I say she can look how she likes and thats called OPENENESS and u picking on me not her!
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="irfghan"][quote="Medievalist"]i want a fatwa saying she cant look sad and that it contradicts islam[/quote]
I'm pretty sure there's no such fatwa.
.[/quote]
thats cos we dont need Fatwa's to state the obvious-stuff that is SUPPOSED to be common sense[/quote]
read the post :roll:
advocating sadness=advocating ungratfulness
and being shy and despressed are two diff things-but I cant get u a fatwa on this common sense theory :roll:
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[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]
but I believe BASED on quranic verses that ORDER us to "rejoice" on Gods "mercy and blessings"-it is WRONG to advocate depression for brides
dont need a Mufti to state the obvious :roll:[/quote]
Lol! How the tides have changed.
i didnt ask for ur own fatwa MuftiaMuslimSisLilSis! though i thank u for it.
Pls provide a scholars verdict that she cant look sad. U have declared something to be anti islamic or contradictory to islam, now provide ur proof; its a simple request.
Your ppl permit death anniversaries, shrines, milad, birthdays etc ALL on the basis that u think they are not explicitly forbidden hence allowed. Now y is her looking sad anydifferent?
Pls just answer the my request. Or u cud put an end to ALL this and say like i do: she can look happy, or sad, or mad, or bad, but my (muslimsislilsis) prefer her to look happy.
the matter wud be closed but u are being narrowminded and im afraid i detect a hint of stubborness here.
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[quote="Medievalist"][quote="TheRevivalEditor"]
Medieval is this just your view or view of your scholars and your madrassah?[/quote]
As i have mentioned before this is a PERSONAL PREFERENCE. I have explicitly mentioned that she doesnt HAVE to look sad so plz get with my earlier posts.
My point is I want MuslimSisLilSis to provide a fatwa or something of similar weight to prove that her looking sad is contradictory to islam. Its a simple request. y is she pulling an AS.
My stance: she can look happy, she can look sad nothing rong with it. My PREFERENCE is she looks shy.
Muslims Sis lIL Sis: plz provide fatwa that says she is forbidden to look sad. simple qsn.
as far as im concerned im the one whose being open here cos i say she can look how she likes, the other ones got issues with her looking sad. so editor dont attack me without reading my posts cos its seems to me that u ppl are out to get me. I say she can look how she likes and thats called OPENENESS and u picking on me not her![/quote]
why is it your PREFERENCE that women look sad?
why is it not your PREFERENCE that women look happy, just like men be happy on the wedding day?
asking littlesis for a fatwa is a bit daft isnt it. She feels offended by your view so is having her say...giving her PREFERENCE. i disagree with your view but i'm not asking you for a fatwa.
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[quote="TheRevivalEditor
why is it your PREFERENCE that women look sad?
why is it not your PREFERENCE that women look happy, just like men be happy on the wedding day?
asking littlesis for a fatwa is a bit daft isnt it. She feels offended by your view so is having her say...giving her PREFERENCE. i disagree with your view but i'm not asking you for a fatwa.[/quote]
why do some prefer brown bread and not white? why do some prefer meat to veg? why do some prefer coke to pepsi? Oh the qsns are endless.
Why is asking for a fatwa daft? plz explain. She can be offended, she can disagree, thats not my contention. What I am asking is for her to prove that for the bride to look sad is contradictory to the teachings of islam. She stated before that it contradicts islam, so she is no longer leaving it in the field of preference she has brought its legality into qsn. She must provide evidence that it is contradictory and i dont mean her own opinion, unless she is ghayr muqallid in which case her own opinon is her fatwa. But if she is muqallid she must atleast provide one scholarly opinion to say that it if unislamic for the bride to look sad.
Editor it amazes me that you don read my posts fully, or deliberately misunderstand them. She brought religion into it, she must back it up as u lot say. Y is she pulling an AS, i think AS wud be pleased!
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meaningless discussion..but i will leave it between you and littlesis
and by the way , who is "you lot". you use that alot. go on..just say it....
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Lol You lot is not my lot!
Its you people. The people of the other.
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[quote="Medievalist"]Lol You lot is not my lot!
Its you people. The people of the other.[/quote]
...the dark side :twisted:
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yes, ally Darth Hayder. Lord Sith sends his regards.
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lol.
seriously tho LilSis and Ed, you got medievalist misunderstood. he clearly said its his personal prefrence, and every one is entitled to it. he never said its islamic, nor can you prove its unislamic.
whilst i dont agree with him, some people prefer to stick to ancient cultural methods. nothing wrong unless it contradicts Islam
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[quote="TheRevivalEditor"]
why is it your PREFERENCE that women look sad?
why is it not your PREFERENCE that women look happy, just like men be happy on the wedding day?
[/quote]
Without resorting to mind probing id say he prefers if the woman looks not sad but really humble at her wedding. He just seems to be a lil too cultural and ... well i dont wanna say "old-Fashioned"... but i will say it Old-Fashioned.
Being "shy" and being "depressed/sad" are two different things.
Normally when I get shy I can't control my giggles. :oops: