Weddings!

tut tut tut!

Dancing brides, five tier wedding cakes, dancing guests!!

What is the world coming to?

I think I will suffice to say that Yashmaki and AbdusSalam have the right idea. Simple and sweet. Do a nikah, give evry1 a bad og nuts and tell em to get on ya bike!

Seroiusly though all this business is really a sign of utmost ignorance. The sickest thing I heard from u lot is the bride dancing!! She is meant to sit quiet and still with her head down and eyes downcast. Dnacing brides look like really really loose women.

Remember Hadrat Fatimah radhiyallahu anha, the Leader of the Women of Paradise, the Mother of Hasnain radhiyallahu anhuma, when asked by Noble Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam that Fatimah! Ali mentions you. Hadrat Fatimah radhiyallahu anha remained silent and was bashful and Noble Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam took that as her consent.

Her bashfulness, modesty and sense of self-respect are the most perfect example for Muslim women. Compare that with the Fatimahs of today dancing around on their weddings!! Sick or what.

[quote="Medievalist"]

I think I will suffice to say that Yashmaki and AbdusSalam have the right idea. Simple and sweet. Do a nikah, give evry1 a bad og nuts and tell em to get on ya bike!

Seroiusly though all this business is really a sign of utmost ignorance. The sickest thing I heard from u lot is the bride dancing!! She is meant to sit quiet and still with her head down and eyes downcast. Dnacing brides look like really really loose women.

[/quote]

Lol-It's not surprising that you agree with AbdusSalam....

So, does our religion forbid happiness on weddings? Which Qur'anic verse or hadith states that a bride must "sit quiet and still with her head down and eyes downcast".

And if the bride is dancing in front of her girlfriends and cousin sisters then how does that imply that she is a "loose woman"? I don't understand how you reached such a conclusion?

not everything in islam is explicitly mentioned in quran and sunnah.
happiness is in following the sunnah and the way of our pious predecessors. Thing is today majority of ppl find happiness is imitation of non-believers, this is a sign of polluted minds and diseased hearts. Telling majority of ppl to come to the masjid , hear bayaan, hear nikah khutbah, make dua and eat and then disperse sounds sooo boring. Its because ppl with diseased hearts naturally incline to diseased ways.

For me happiness wud be to see a nikah take place in a gud atmosphere, have a small amount of food and then make dua and go home. People with diseases prefer dances, and songs and other lewdness. For me islams permitted actions are enough to make me happy, however dont worry i fully understand if u feel such practices to be constricting and u prefer to get up and dance and make a show and dance.
I wouldnt expect any thing more nor am i supriesed. LOL

Salaam

Actually to me, “happiness” would be shown if the bride was smiling and laughing.

I don’t think this suggests that I “imitate the non-believers” or that “this is a sign of a polluted mind and diseased heart”.

I don’t agree that she must sit there looking all sad and depressed in order to prove that she is a “decent, pious woman”. ...and I'm also not surprised that you think differently.

Wasalaam

we agree to disagree.

Im just saying in my own view it looks better if the woman is all sad and quiet and stuff. Its my personal preference u get me?

[quote="Medievalist"]we agree to disagree.

Im just saying in my own view it looks better if the woman is all sad and quiet and stuff. Its my personal preference u get me?[/quote]

So what ur saying in a sense is u prefer if she wasnt happy at her own wedding... thats just cruel man.

LOL, medievalist.....i urge you to return to the realms you came from, you are clearly not from this era.

i agree on keeping things simple, and i liked the way the wedding MuslimSis went was conducted....especially the nasheeds.

why must you look sad on your wedding day? to most people its a day off happiness!! get with the times lad.

no harm in having a little fun as long as nothing Haraam is done....i dont like the whole sing n dance myself, but in a womens only zone i'd just about allow it (one-off occasion).

Medieval, no1 will remember your wedding day!!

she can be as happy as she likes but she shouldnt show it IMO.

and lol i would be glad if no1 remembered my wedding. The important ppl to remember the wedding is me and my wife, she will have me to remind her of her wedding day, i will have her to remind me of my wedding day so no1 elses remembrance or forgetfulness matters, right?

Look as i said b4 its just the way i prefer it. Like i prefer it if women wear loads of jewellery, has her hands constantly died with henna patterns, wears pranda and flowers in her hair, applies surma to her eyes etc. Its just a personal preference as u ppl are so eager to allow so many new things into the religion, perhaps u wont object to me and allow me to like the old things which are most definitely permitted?

do as you please sunshine, i feel sorry for your wife-to-be!

[quote="Hay-DUH"]LOL, medievalist.....i urge you to return to the realms you came from, you are clearly not from this era.

i agree on keeping things simple, and i liked the way the wedding MuslimSis went was conducted....especially the nasheeds.

why must you look sad on your wedding day? to most people its a day off happiness!! get with the times lad.

no harm in having a little fun as long as nothing Haraam is done....i dont like the whole sing n dance myself, but in a womens only zone i'd just about allow it (one-off occasion).

Medieval, no1 will remember your wedding day!![/quote]
totally agree....your wedding days the biggest turn in your life u must enjoy the day coz it a one in a life time mission

[quote="Medievalist"]she can be as happy as she likes but she shouldnt show it IMO.
[/quote]

Why shouldn't she show it?

:?

Aha!

For women wedding is most likely gonna come once in her life.

For me this day will come 4 times in my life inshaallah !

lol!

and keep ur sympathies away from my wife-to-be! pervert!

[quote="Medievalist"]she can be as happy as she likes but she shouldnt show it IMO.

?[/quote]

obvioulsy if she's marrying a med-EVIL-list of course she won't be happy

so ur desire to have a sad, depressed bride will be fulfilled

and can someone OTHER then the medievilist give me a Fatwa on women dancing in front of OTHER women in weddings

[quote="Medievalist"]Aha!

For women wedding is most likely gonna come once in her life.

For me this day will come 4 times in my life inshaallah !

lol!

and keep ur sympathies away from my wife-to-be! pervert![/quote]

You haven't answered my question.

Why should a bride not show her happiness on her wedding day?

[quote="irfghan"][quote="Medievalist"]Aha!

For women wedding is most likely gonna come once in her life.

For me this day will come 4 times in my life inshaallah !

lol!

and keep ur sympathies away from my wife-to-be! pervert![/quote]

You haven't answered my question.

Why should a bride not show her happiness on her wedding day?[/quote]

its pointless asking.....his wives-to-be will have nothing to be happy about anyway.

this girl i know didnt cry very easily-asked her best mate to slap her round the face once they started to do that whole walking up the the car bit

LOL-I was laughing when I heard that

she should have just carried an onion in her purse

i think the girl was getting married into a backwards family-who had a thing for depressed, sad brides

[quote="Hay-DUH"][quote="irfghan"][quote="Medievalist"]Aha!

For women wedding is most likely gonna come once in her life.

For me this day will come 4 times in my life inshaallah !

lol!

and keep ur sympathies away from my wife-to-be! pervert![/quote]

You haven't answered my question.

Why should a bride not show her happiness on her wedding day?[/quote]

its pointless asking.....his wives-to-be will have nothing to be happy about anyway.[/quote]

If he's got nothing to be ashamed of then he would happily answer.

[quote="irfghan"]
If he's got nothing to be ashamed of then he would happily answer.[/quote]

Looks like he's pulling a "Abdus" 😉

leaves us guessing and assuming as usual

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]this girl i know didnt cry very easily-asked her best mate to slap her round the face once they started to do that whole walking up the the car bit

LOL-I was laughing when I heard that

she should have just carried an onion in her purse

i think the girl was getting married into a backwards family-who had a thing for depressed, sad brides[/quote]

...ookay

What's the theory behind that one?

And does anybody else get irritated when strange cultural things find their way into religion?

[quote="Dave"]

And does anybody else get irritated when strange cultural things find their way into religion?[/quote]

yeah we're trying to get to the bottom of this one

but the one who advocates this culture is ignoring us

I wonder why :roll:

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="Dave"]

And does anybody else get irritated when strange cultural things find their way into religion?[/quote]

yeah we're trying to get to the bottom of this one

but the one who advocates this culture is ignoring us

I wonder why :roll:[/quote]

lol I noticed a lot of the stuff Islam gets criticism for is usually weird cultural traditions that somehow became part of the religion and nobody quite knows how.

I guess Fareed Zakaria was right, he had a couple articles about Islams transition from localized practices to a more standardized worldwide religion due to better communication in the early 20th century.

im not ignoring.

Look as i said before it is my view that a bride looks better if she is subdued and sad. I dont think that islam says it is impermissible for the bride to look sad so nothing rong wit me preferring that view. And i am not saying that she HAS to look sad otherwise she is sinful. Im just saying that on a personl note i prefer it for her to look subdued. Now if som1 has a religious reason saying she cant look sad, or that she has to look happy then please furnish your proof, otherwise let me have my personal prefernce particularly as i am not sayin it is religious law or obligation.

Why should a bride not show her happiness on her weddind day?

Answer: as stated before nothing says she cant show her happines, similarly nothing says she cant see with a moody face. So if i prefer it for her to look sad what is the big deal? I have mey preference. Yse it is a pakistani cultural thing that the bride looks quiet and sad, but any1 care to say it is forbidden for her to sit like that? No? Didnt think so. In this case let me have me personal preference, i dont say she has to be happy justr that personally i think it looks out of place and strange. Thats my thinking, if its not islamically objectionable then y are u making a big deal out of it?

Muslimsis i havent given a fatwa that she cant dance. I m not a mufti yet. I was saying that just as i think she should be subdued then also i think its outta place and rong for her to dance. Now if my preference is not anti islamic - viz that she can sit and look sad and not dance - then y ar eu making such a big deal about it?

DONT worry abt my wife. I aint gonna marry any of u strange women. The woman i get married to inshaALLAH will share my worldview so there wont be a problem. I m not so stupid as to wish to marry a woman who does not understand my point of view, and im sure a woman who has my point of view wudnt marry a man who doesnt share her point of view.

does that answer ur qsns?

What is pulling an Abdus?

[quote="Medievalist"]
Why should a bride not show her happiness on her weddind day?

Answer: as stated before nothing says she cant show her happines, similarly nothing says she cant see with a moody face. So if i prefer it for her to look sad what is the big deal? I have mey preference. Yse it is a pakistani cultural thing that the bride looks quiet and sad, but any1 care to say it is forbidden for her to sit like that? No? Didnt think so. In this case let me have me personal preference, i dont say she has to be happy justr that personally i think it looks out of place and strange. Thats my thinking, if its not islamically objectionable then y are u making a big deal out of it?
[/quote]

OK then. If you want your bride to be unhappy at the prospect of marying you then fine. That's understandable.

[quote="Medievalist"] People with diseases prefer dances, and songs and other lewdness. [/quote]

so was that ur Fatwa on dancing based on ur teachers teaching or ur own personal opinion

and whats this I hear about u not being intrested in "us strange women"

I'm sure I speak on behalf of all women here when I say I'm truly heartbroken 😢

NOT :twisted:

marryng u would mean being depressed on ur weddings day-and being depressed on my wedding day is my biggest nightmare

May God make all brides happy on their wedding days

[quote="Dave"]
I guess Fareed Zakaria was right, he had a couple articles about Islams transition from localized practices to a more standardized worldwide religion due to better communication in the early 20th century.[/quote]

Dave. Links to these articles would be grrreat. 😃

Lol!

yes i want my wife to bawl her eyes out and come sniffing and with red eyes when she comes to my house!! Lol

Again MuslimSisLilSis u take my personal opinon to be a fatwa. Truly i am honoured! But plz dont overpraise me. Just like i dnt take urstance as being ur fatwa , plz dont try playing snidy tricks and make my stance out to be anything more than it is. It is only my opinion, my preference. For a supposedly mixed bunch u are surprisingly aggressive and narrowminded that u cant accept a british muslim thinking that his wife being subdued on wedding day is better than her being jokey and loud and boisterous.

[quote="Medievalist"]. For a supposedly mixed bunch u are surprisingly aggressive and narrowminded that u cant accept a british muslim thinking that his wife being subdued on wedding day is better than her being jokey and loud and boisterous.[/quote]

actually what we cant accept is YOU advocating depression on ur wedding day

NORMAL people see weddings as HAPPY times

but I guess we're the "narrowminded" ones :roll: :roll:

[quote="Medievalist"]For a supposedly mixed bunch u are surprisingly aggressive and narrowminded that u cant accept a british muslim thinking that his wife being subdued on wedding day is better than her being jokey and loud and boisterous.[/quote]

Jokey - why naaat?

Loud - maybe not.

Boistrous - not at all.

[quote="irfghan"][quote="Dave"]
I guess Fareed Zakaria was right, he had a couple articles about Islams transition from localized practices to a more standardized worldwide religion due to better communication in the early 20th century.[/quote]

Dave. Links to these articles would be grrreat. :D[/quote]

The future of Freedom had a whole chapter dedicated to the subject.

This link touches on it.

http://www.theglobalist.com/StoryId.aspx?StoryId=3261

Basically he was saying that growing up in India he practiced a localised Islam that had it's own saints and practices different then other Islams - and that once he went out into the big metropolitan world, he experienced a new standardising islam.

However that part of the book was really just a paraphrasing of his old famous article "Why do they hate us?"

Which fortunately for you - and me - is on his website!

http://www.fareedzakaria.com/articles/newsweek/101501_why.html

QUOTE

[i]Islamic fundamentalism got a tremendous boost in 1979 when Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini toppled the Shah of Iran. The Iranian revolution demonstrated that a powerful ruler could be taken on by groups within society. It also revealed how in a broken society even seemingly benign forces of progress--education and technology--can add to the turmoil.[b] Until the 1970s most Muslims in the Middle East were illiterate and lived in villages and towns. They practiced a kind of street-Islam that had adapted itself to the local culture. Pluralistic and tolerant, these people often worshiped saints, went to shrines, sang religious hymns and cherished religious art, all technically disallowed in Islam. (This was particularly true in Iran.) By the 1970s, however, people had begun moving out of the villages and their religious experience was not rooted in a specific place. At the same time they were learning to read and they discovered that a new Islam was being preached by the fundamentalists, an abstract faith not rooted in historical experience but literal, puritanical and by the book. It was Islam of the High Church as opposed to Islam of the village fair.[/b]

In Iran, Ayatollah Khomeini used a powerful technology--the audiocassette. His sermons were distributed throughout the country and became the vehicle of opposition to the shah's repressive regime. But Khomeini was not alone in using the language of Islam as a political tool. Intellectuals, disillusioned by the half-baked or overrapid modernization that was throwing their world into turmoil, were writing books against "Westoxification" and calling the modern Iranian man--half Western, half Eastern--rootless. Fashionable intellectuals, often writing from the comfort of London or Paris, would critique American secularism and consumerism and endorse an Islamic alternative. As theories like these spread across the Arab world, they appealed not to the poorest of the poor, for whom Westernization was magical (it meant food and medicine). They appealed to the half-educated hordes entering the cities of the Middle East or seeking education and jobs in the West.[/i]

He is one of my favorite authors - if you read him regularly this is a relatively constant theme of his.