Funzo's abyss

LOL when I saw the title of this thread I thought it would be about you spiralling into insanity!

maybe i am and maybe it is.

Lol, cant wait to hear it.. or lets say,, read it hehe

neither can i....

The suffering
Im not asking for your words of affliction
nor actions of philanthropic kindness
This isnt a campaign against or for
The only thing i ask for you is too spare and ear or two

Is that there tears have stopped trickling down there eyes
or is it that you have stopped fixating?
Is that there screams have faded into mere whispers and cries
or is it that you have stopped listening?

Has there pain gone away
is there no more struggle
has the war of justice been won today?
or is it that your empathy has been morphed into boredom?

Spare a thought for that lioness who doesnt know from whenst the next meal for her cub will come
spare a thought for the lion whos kingdom was stripped away and turned into dust and rubble
Or is that your thoughts are too consumed with yourself that a thought for another would be... dumb?
As you sit there you carry on in that positon as if your isolated from this mess in some perculiar bubble

I dont ask for anything
i dont ask for you to spare a thought
i dont ask for your hand
i dont ask for your wallet
i dont ask for you of anything wonderfull or rotten
i dont ask for your voice
No! this isnt even a reminder because a reminder is for those who have forgotton
but you ignore out of personal choice

Im not asking for your words of affliction
nor actions of philanthropic kindness
This isnt a campaign against or for
The only thing i ask for you is too spare and ear or two

take it easy im a young.

that bad?

Funzo, when did you grow up? Did meeting me really have such a profound effect on you? Or was it finally seeing Lord's Cricket Ground?

Salam

That was pretty good Fanz.

I liked it.

Also, your idea for this thread shows you are indeed a poet.

Omrow

[quote=wednesday]do you want the positive truth or the negative truth? (i don't lie, well i try not to so that option aint available!)[/quote]
tell it how it is i can only move and be stronger remember im only 16/17

[quote=Ya'qub]Funzo, when did you grow up? Did meeting me really have such a profound effect on you? Or was it finally seeing Lord's Cricket Ground?[/quote]
Lol!(sorry had to lol) a mixture of both!

[quote=wednesday][quote=Funzo][quote=wednesday]do you want the positive truth or the negative truth? (i don't lie, well i try not to so that option aint available!)[/quote]
tell it how it is i can only move and be stronger remember im only 16/17[/quote]

right, in that case... Keep writing... and don't use longish lines (or is dat ur style?)

i don't like to score creative work... it's cruel and biased![/quote]
i didnt really comprehend that, did you basically just say it was crap?

[quote]and don't use longish lines (or is dat ur style?)
[/quote]

Spare a thought for that lioness who doesnt know from whenst the next meal for her cub will come

reminisce of the lioness for whom a meal is in doubt

Spare a thought for the lion whos kingdom was stripped away and turned into dust and rubble

recollect that lion for whose kingdom hath collapsed

i've altered just a couple of sentences i thought i could improve as long sentences in a poem tend to deter the reader, hopefully they make sense and keep with the essence of the poem (which is excellent and doubt i'd be able to match)

Masha'Allah it's an art form poetry and you have the talent, reading the works of JalalUddin Al Rumi (r.a) will also inspire you.

or is thy thought too selfish to contemplate another ?

whilst sat secluded from the world
you also use 'there' instead of 'their' 😉

[quote=B.D.B][quote]
reading the works of JalalUddin Al Rumi (r.a) will also inspire you.

[/quote]
How did you know?

im going to go over that first one and re-do it.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!