Interesting name for a thread.

Moving on........ I wouldn't marry more than 1 woman, 1 is enough lol. Would probably only marry >1 if I really had to.

well i wouldnt want to share my husband with another woman........some people might find what im saying selfish but our lives are so short and i would want to maximise my time spent with loved ones and i wouldnt want that time cut in half because of another woman.......also i'll always be paranoid............is she more attractive...........is she slimmer..............does he love her more.........can she cook nicer,(i cant even cook).............i'll always worry about little things and they will make me unhappy.

oh yh i wouldnt want my kinds to have 2 mums.

the title of the thread made my inner-school-boy giggle.

It also reminded me of my favorite conversation in any tv show ever:

"How could you do that to me? I thought I was your number one,"
"You are my number one!"
"Then why do you treat me like a number two?"

Sultana wrote:

well .can she cook nicer,(i cant even cook).............

You raise an interesting point. Why is it must for a wife to be able to cook? No where in the Quran does it say to be the prefect wife you must be able to cook a 3 course meal yet many women get turned down for marriage soley for the reason that they cant cook. Stupid if you ask me.

There is nothing mentioned in the hadiths about the Prophets wives (may Allah (swt) be pleased with all of them) cooking 3 course meals.

I think in Hanafi fiqh it is the wife's obligation to cook and clean.

But in Shafi'i fiqh it is the husband's obligation (to at least pay for someone else to cook and clean).

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Ya'qub wrote:

I think in Hanafi fiqh it is the wife's obligation to cook and clean.

But in Shafi'i fiqh it is the husband's obligation (to at least pay for someone else to cook and clean).

Correct me if I'm wrong.

I follow Hanafi fiqh, and from what ive studied, thats not part of her duties :? In fact, from what I remember, the wife can demand that she be provided with a cook/ready cooked food :shock:

Anyways, on the 2nd wife issue, I say bring it on, the more the merrier lol I would go for the UN family - from all corners of the globe (ahem, but then again, im not a guy :--/ ).. The only women I could ever be jealous of when it comes to this topic are the Hurs in Paradise :? On a side note, someone has already voluntarily given up 10 Hurs for me so far haha.. :o

In explaining the ayat on 4 wives, an explaination ive been given is that it is to show the impossibility of achieving the absolute equality required, and therefore its great rarity. We should bear in mind similar ayahs in the Qur'an and put it into context: i.e. For adultery, Allah aza waj'al asks there to be 4 witnesses present to testify to the event - this also shows the impossibility and rarity of fulfilling the standards set.

I'd never put up with co-wives, anyway why would any man want anyhting more me...

(jokes)

Whats a Hur?

Sumaiya wrote:

Whats a Hur?

One of the large-eyed partners we may have in Paradise. Insha'Allah.

Lmao, this reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about one of the companions of the prophet (pbuh).

One of the companions (i forget his name) had two wives, and one night whilst everyone was sleeping. He got up and snuck out of the house to go see his other wife (for reasons ill leave to your imagination).
A little while later, his first wife awoke and noticed he was gone. Almost immediatley she knew where he had gone (how do women do that? seriously... throw me fricken bone here?) and so in a fit of rage she grabbed a knife and stormed over to the second wives house.
Just as she got there she saw her husband coming out of the 2nd wives house. Now it is forebidden for a man to recite the holy Quran after he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So she goes up to him with the knife and screams at him to recite the Quran... just to see if he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So what does he do he turns around and says to her: "The beauty of the prophet (pbuh) is so great that, even if the moon was to come down onto this very earth it would pale in comparison to the beauty of the prophet (pbuh)".
A little confused and thinking maybe she just hadnt read that bit just yet. She thinks nothing of it and then returns home. Absolutely terrified about the lie he's just told the companion runs to the prophet (pbuh) and tells him what happened. After hearing the companion the prophet (pbuh) laughed.

Seraphim wrote:

Lmao, this reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about one of the companions of the prophet (pbuh).

One of the companions (i forget his name) had two wives, and one night whilst everyone was sleeping. He got up and snuck out of the house to go see his other wife (for reasons ill leave to your imagination).
A little while later, his first wife awoke and noticed he was gone. Almost immediatley she knew where he had gone (how do women do that? seriously... throw me fricken bone here?) and so in a fit of rage she grabbed a knife and stormed over to the second wives house.
Just as she got there she saw her husband coming out of the 2nd wives house. Now it is forebidden for a man to recite the holy Quran after he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So she goes up to him with the knife and screams at him to recite the Quran... just to see if he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So what does he do he turns around and says to her: "The beauty of the prophet (pbuh) is so great that, even if the moon was to come down onto this very earth it would pale in comparison to the beauty of the prophet (pbuh)".
A little confused and thinking maybe she just hadnt read that bit just yet. She thinks nothing of it and then returns home. Absolutely terrified about the lie he's just told the companion runs to the prophet (pbuh) and tells him what happened. After hearing the companion the prophet (pbuh) laughed.

That's a good story. Is it authentic?

Amal wrote:

I follow Hanafi fiqh, and from what ive studied, thats not part of her duties :? In fact, from what I remember, the wife can demand that she be provided with a cook/ready cooked food

"It is not a legal obligation of the wife, according to Islamic teachings, to cook the meals or serve the house, and if a woman elects to refuse to undertake these works, a husband cannot compel her to do so”

It is true that from a pure legal point of view, a wife may refuse to cook meals or to do other household works, but on the other hand, the husband may refuse to give her permission to meet her relatives. If both of them are restricted to such a crude legal relationship, an atmosphere of mutual understanding cannot be developed between them.

In short, a wife is not legally bound to render the household services, however it is advisable that she performs these functions as a measure of cooperation…" (Mufti Taqi Usmani's Contemporary Fatawa, P. 124 /125)

Ya'qub wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

Lmao, this reminds me of a story a friend of mine told me about one of the companions of the prophet (pbuh).

One of the companions (i forget his name) had two wives, and one night whilst everyone was sleeping. He got up and snuck out of the house to go see his other wife (for reasons ill leave to your imagination).
A little while later, his first wife awoke and noticed he was gone. Almost immediatley she knew where he had gone (how do women do that? seriously... throw me fricken bone here?) and so in a fit of rage she grabbed a knife and stormed over to the second wives house.
Just as she got there she saw her husband coming out of the 2nd wives house. Now it is forebidden for a man to recite the holy Quran after he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So she goes up to him with the knife and screams at him to recite the Quran... just to see if he's *ahem-had-some-bryani-Ahem*. So what does he do he turns around and says to her: "The beauty of the prophet (pbuh) is so great that, even if the moon was to come down onto this very earth it would pale in comparison to the beauty of the prophet (pbuh)".
A little confused and thinking maybe she just hadnt read that bit just yet. She thinks nothing of it and then returns home. Absolutely terrified about the lie he's just told the companion runs to the prophet (pbuh) and tells him what happened. After hearing the companion the prophet (pbuh) laughed.

That's a good story. Is it authentic?

I believe so, I can find out the details if you want. Just thought id share it, coz it made me laugh.

Heres the hadith I believe you are referring to:

Abdullah ibn Rawaha was sleeping with his wife and in the middle of the night he wanted to visit his concubine. So he quietly sneaked out of his bed and left. His wife woke up and upon finding him missing in bed, she suspected that he must have gone to be intimate with his concubine (obviously he wasn’t doing anything haraam and it was common to have concubines back then).

Instead, Abdullah ibn Rawaha’s wife got up and grabbed a knife, and started walking towards the concubine’s room. It just so happened that Abdullah was coming out of the room. He saw his wife and she pulled the knife at him and asked, “You were with her, were you not?”

But lo and behold, in fear of upsetting his wife, he said, “No!” (Keep in mind that this is one of the three situations in which lying is allowed, to avoid a fight between a husband and wife- according to the hadeeth in Muslim).

She didn’t believe him and demanded a ‘proof’ so she asked him to recite some Quran. (The Quran cannot be recited in a state of ‘janabah’ (sexual impurity) so she was basically ‘testing’ him like a lie detector!)

Abdullah started reciting some poetry in the same tone as if he was reading Quran. His wife thought they were verses she hadn’t heard yet. So she let him go. The next day, Abdullah went to the Prophet and told him what had happened and the Prophet smiled to the point where his back molar could be seen.

(Hadith Reported in Darulqutni)

On another note, theres nothing wrong with being jealous when it comes down to this:

Al-Haafiz ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) (from Tafsir of Quran) said:
Basically, jealousy is natural and is not something that only some women feel and not others, but if a woman oversteps the mark then she is to be blamed.

Imam Ahmad recorded that `A'ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, used to feel jealous of the women who offered themselves to the Prophet (saw). She said, "Would a woman not feel shy to offer herself (for marriage) without any dowry?''

So jealousy on the part of the husband and wife, if it is of the type that is part of human nature which no woman is free from, then it is excused, so long as she does not overstep the mark and do or say anything that Allah has forbidden. This is the way in which the reports from the salaf which speak of women's jealousy are to be understood.
(Al-Asqalani in Fath al-Baari, 9/326 - commentry on Sahih al-Bukhari)

Ya'qub wrote:

I think in Hanafi fiqh it is the wife's obligation to cook and clean.

But in Shafi'i fiqh it is the husband's obligation (to at least pay for someone else to cook and clean).

Correct me if I'm wrong.

There is nothing in the Quran that states that Muslims have to follow a school of thought so I don’t acknowledge any of them. If you or anyone can provide evidence from the Quran then I'm willing pay attention

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

Naz wrote:

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

what are you on about Naz?

All descriptions of the afterlife are metaphors and not to be taken literally.

They use examples of things that we can have in this dunya, so that we might understand a bit better...but the do not refer to what it is ACTUALLY like. It is far beyond the human imagination.

How would you describe the differences in colours to someone who could only see in black and white?
How would you describe the sky to someone who had only ever lived in a cave?

The descriptions of Paradise and the Hellfire are the same.

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

what are you on about Naz?

All descriptions of the afterlife are metaphors and not to be taken literally.

They use examples of things that we can have in this dunya, so that we might understand a bit better...but the do not refer to what it is ACTUALLY like. It is far beyond the human imagination.

How would you describe the differences in colours to someone who could only see in black and white?
How would you describe the sky to someone who had only ever lived in a cave?

The descriptions of Paradise and the Hellfire are the same.

What am i on about, what are you on about. :?

What i mean is that scholars have interpreted houris to mean maidens/wives/virgins and if a Muslim man is good in this life he will enter paradise where they will get Hur. If you fight in Allahs cause then you get 72 houris. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars and a lot of Muslim men believe this to be true. All i was asking is that IF this is true then what do women get? By interpreting Hur as being female scholars are totally denying that women on earth even exist

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

what are you on about Naz?

All descriptions of the afterlife are metaphors and not to be taken literally.

They use examples of things that we can have in this dunya, so that we might understand a bit better...but the do not refer to what it is ACTUALLY like. It is far beyond the human imagination.

How would you describe the differences in colours to someone who could only see in black and white?
How would you describe the sky to someone who had only ever lived in a cave?

The descriptions of Paradise and the Hellfire are the same.

What am i on about, what are you on about. :?

What i mean is that scholars have interpreted houris to mean maidens/wives/virgins and if a Muslim man is good in this life he will enter paradise where they will get Hur. If you fight in Allahs cause then you get 72 houris. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars and a lot of Muslim men believe this to be true. All i was asking is that IF this is true then what do women get? By interpreting Hur as being female scholars are totally denying that women on earth even exist

Well thats not true. Women exist on earth too. Hurs are just a cut above you lot lol.

Women will probably get a credit card to spend in a shopping centre in heaven where everythings half-price.

Or so is my understanding.

As a scholar once said:

what we should worry about is getting there...

instead of worrying about what we will get when we get there (InshaAllah).

Seraphim wrote:

Or so is my understanding.

Seraphim wrote:

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

what are you on about Naz?

All descriptions of the afterlife are metaphors and not to be taken literally.

They use examples of things that we can have in this dunya, so that we might understand a bit better...but the do not refer to what it is ACTUALLY like. It is far beyond the human imagination.

How would you describe the differences in colours to someone who could only see in black and white?
How would you describe the sky to someone who had only ever lived in a cave?

The descriptions of Paradise and the Hellfire are the same.

What am i on about, what are you on about. :?

What i mean is that scholars have interpreted houris to mean maidens/wives/virgins and if a Muslim man is good in this life he will enter paradise where they will get Hur. If you fight in Allahs cause then you get 72 houris. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars and a lot of Muslim men believe this to be true. All i was asking is that IF this is true then what do women get? By interpreting Hur as being female scholars are totally denying that women on earth even exist

Well thats not true. Women exist on earth too. Hurs are just a cut above you lot lol.

Women will probably get a credit card to spend in a shopping centre in heaven where everythings half-price.

Or so is my understanding.

Trust you to be sarcastic about it.

Anyway IF you get in you might only get 72 grapes so chomp on that

MuslimBro wrote:

As a scholar once said:

what we should worry about is getting there...

instead of worrying about what we will get when we get there (InshaAllah).

true true but its just that i decided to do a little research on this an all the scholars (who just happen to be males) i came across refer to Hur as being female so it just got me thinking that if Hur are indeed female then what would women get.

oooh just remembered something there is a half price Next sale on tomoz starts at 5.00a.m. ppl

Naz wrote:

Seraphim wrote:

Naz wrote:

Ya'qub wrote:

Naz wrote:

In regards to the issue on Hur, say for arguments sake they are females well what do women get for being good? or are they all doomed to hell? After all the majority of hell is made up of women.

what are you on about Naz?

All descriptions of the afterlife are metaphors and not to be taken literally.

They use examples of things that we can have in this dunya, so that we might understand a bit better...but the do not refer to what it is ACTUALLY like. It is far beyond the human imagination.

How would you describe the differences in colours to someone who could only see in black and white?
How would you describe the sky to someone who had only ever lived in a cave?

The descriptions of Paradise and the Hellfire are the same.

What am i on about, what are you on about. :?

What i mean is that scholars have interpreted houris to mean maidens/wives/virgins and if a Muslim man is good in this life he will enter paradise where they will get Hur. If you fight in Allahs cause then you get 72 houris. This is the opinion of the majority of scholars and a lot of Muslim men believe this to be true. All i was asking is that IF this is true then what do women get? By interpreting Hur as being female scholars are totally denying that women on earth even exist

Well thats not true. Women exist on earth too. Hurs are just a cut above you lot lol.

Women will probably get a credit card to spend in a shopping centre in heaven where everythings half-price.

Or so is my understanding.

Trust you to be sarcastic about it.

lol

love to live but living to die wrote:

cheeesy!

i heard that women in paradise will get pious men as partners, and there's one thing that i'm not sure abt but i'll ask any way... i've heard that Jannah is not for sexual desires at all... is that correct or no?

what hav YOU been reading mate?!?!?!

pious husbands
thats all we get???
its paradise!EVERYONES gonna be pious!
what a rubbish deal!
If my husband gets 72 women

then I want 72 men too!
its only fair!

but anyhoo
the Qur'an does not mention 72 virgins
someone prob made that up
"come on hamad, blow urself in the name of Allah"
"no I dont want to"
"youll get 72 viiiiirginnnsssss..."
"sweet!!!!"

anyhoo
back to the issue
nowhere does it mention in hadith or qur'an that its a womans duty to cook n clean
but we still do
because we're just so nice lol

as for second wife issue
I wud not want to share my husband with anybody
n I agree with whoeveer above me said that there are strict regulations that make it impossible to hav more than one
cos men will never treat two women in the same way

Seraphim wrote:

Women will probably get a credit card to spend in a shopping centre in heaven where everythings half-price.

Or so is my understanding.

hahahahaaa

That is so unfair how come they always get better things than us. The only thing men think about in this world is women and theyll think about them in the next too, i think they have a little too much of a good thing...

love to live but living to die wrote:

*Iram: Like i said i heard it from a shaykh...

n a small request: Don't call me your 'mate'... eurgh... i am NOT your 'mate'... (hate that word!)

wen did I call u mate
n wot did u hear from a shaykh

Stop whinging.

In Paradise (both men and women) will get whatever they desire. Let's leave it at that.