Having a personal opinion

Naz —

This thread was prompted by something Ya'qub said.

It got me thinking is it possible to be a Muslim and also have a personal opinion?

Forum

Noor — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 - 23:08

[quote=Naz]Just out of curiosity how many women on this forum would be ok with their husbands having more then one wife? [/quote]

i keep going through phases, Allaahu alam. it would depend on the husband, before i wouldn't even consider it as an option but if Allah swt has made this lawful for him then i don't see why i should stop him. so thats a yes, i think...

Courage — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 16:26

Why would a guy want to marry two women? If he's having problems in his first marriage then it's cowardly and unmanly to try and escape that way. Come on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.
Even as a guy, I would just stick to the one.

You — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 16:37

[quote=Courage]Come on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.[/quote]

erm... I would have to disagree with that. I would call it the (major?) "right" reason.

Ya'qub — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 - 17:41

[quote=Noor][quote=Courage]Why would a guy want to marry two women?[/quote]

because it is a sunnah. [/quote]

Its sunnah to marry 11 or 13 women actually.

Courage — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 11:34

[quote=You][quote=Courage]Come on, you shouldn't get married for sex that's the wrong reason to get married.[/quote]

erm... I would have to disagree with that. I would call it the (major?) "right" reason.
[/quote]

No wonder why there's so much cheating. No wonder why there're so many break ups. Why did the Prophet Muhamad (pbuh) marry more than one wife? For sex or to look after them, care for them and respect them? Do you seriously want to tell me that he thought/said to his wife: "I need you plus another woman to satisfy me in bed."
One thing that makes us humans different from animals is that we can try and control our desires.

Naz — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:13

Getting married gives you the licence to have sex, however sex should not be the major/main reason for marriage. It aint gonna last if it is. There is so much more to a marriage.

Just coz a man marries more then once doesnt mean to say that he is having problems with his first wife.

Ya'qub — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:50

To Naz and Courage, why do you think we are recommended to marry young?

It can't be to look after people.

Marriage is supposed to be pleasurable, as well as a responsibility.

You — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 - 13:54

I think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.

"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."

Courage — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 17:13

[quote=Ya'qub]To Naz and Courage, why do you think we are recommended to marry young?

It can't be to look after people.

Marriage is supposed to be pleasurable, as well as a responsibility.[/quote]

EXACTLY! It's both but some people don't think lke that.

Courage — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 18:31

[quote=You]I think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.

"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."[/quote]

Naz can speak for herself but I definately didn't say that. The main reason has to be social compatibility right? You don't say "I'm marrying her because I need to fulfill my sexual desires." That's not the MAIN reason, maybe number 5, but definately not number one!

Naz — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 21:27

[quote=Ya'qub]To Naz and Courage, why do you think we are recommended to marry young?

It can't be to look after people.

Marriage is supposed to be pleasurable, as well as a responsibility.[/quote]

Yes i agree with what your saying but a marriage requires more then just sex for it to work. Sex is just a physical connection. You also need a deeper connection which can only be achieved through understanding one another, respecting one another, accepting one anothers faults (yes thats right no one is perfect) etc.

Physical connection + deeper connection = sucessful marriage
Physical connection = failed marriage

If on the other hand one is only seeking a physical connection then it would be cheaper for one to go to a brothel instead of tying the knot!!!

Naz — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 - 21:42

[quote=You]I think it is a little Pakistani mentality kicking in.

"I know this person in Pakistan who is really poor. That family deserves better. If I marry my kid off to their kid, they will have a better way of life."[/quote]

I am very much against parents who sacrifice their kids like little lambs in the name of pride, honour, culture and whatever these ppl believe in.

MuslimBro — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 03:33

[quote=Naz]If on the other hand one is only seeking a physical connection then it would be cheaper for one to go to a brothel instead of tying the knot!!![/quote]
However, Zina is a MAJOR sin so Allah (swt) has made marriage a way of fulfilling your (physical) desires.

And ditto to what Courage said.

Naz — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 10:53

[quote=MuslimBro][quote=Naz]If on the other hand one is only seeking a physical connection then it would be cheaper for one to go to a brothel instead of tying the knot!!![/quote]
However, Zina is a MAJOR sin so Allah (swt) has made marriage a way of fulfilling your (physical) desires.[/quote]

Very true but it doesnt stop ppl though does it.

Ya'qub — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 - 17:22

[quote=MuslimBro]Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.

[/quote]

Don't I know it
:x

Noor — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 00:12

[quote=MuslimBro]Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.[/quote]

you wana get hicthed ey? 😉

a lot of people don't have the guts to say to their parents that they wana get married.

MuslimBro — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 01:17

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=MuslimBro]Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.

[/quote]

Don't I know it
:x [/quote]
Aww, I'm sure your parents will come around.

At first they might not listen but if you're persistent they will one day accept it. And no, I'm not talking from experience.

MuslimBro — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 01:20

[quote=Noor]a lot of people don't have the guts to say to their parents that they wana get married.[/quote]
True.

It's just one of those 'things'....

Ya'qub — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 09:54

[quote=MuslimBro][quote=Ya'qub][quote=MuslimBro]Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.

[/quote]

Don't I know it
:x [/quote]
Aww, I'm sure your parents will come around.

At first they might not listen but if you're persistent they will one day accept it. And no, I'm not talking from experience.[/quote]

lol, I didn't mean my parents. They don't care what I do, as long as I'm happy and not hurting anybody.

I'm talking about the other side...

Courage — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 - 10:40

[quote=Ya'qub][quote=MuslimBro][quote=Ya'qub][quote=MuslimBro]Sometimes it's the parents that stop their child getting married young.

[/quote]

Don't I know it
:x [/quote]
Aww, I'm sure your parents will come around.

At first they might not listen but if you're persistent they will one day accept it. And no, I'm not talking from experience.[/quote]

lol, I didn't mean my parents. They don't care what I do, as long as I'm happy and not hurting anybody.

I'm talking about the other side...[/quote]

Well they said after she finishes studying, didn't they? Some parents want them to turn 30 something first! Consider yourself lucky!