To Shake Or Not To Shake

Salaam

It’s so easy NOT to shake hands/hug/kiss etc when meeting members of the opposite sex, buts it’s a lot harder to avoid causing offence.

My uncle is engaged to a liberal Iraqi girl who comes from a family whose custom is to give bear hugs to family members….

I found it hilarious watching my uncles/cousins etc dodging these hugs…

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always find it hard to explain reasons behind certain actions…I’ve always found it easier to dodge or avoid.

Wasalaam

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]shaking hands with women ur not related to is ALSO forbidden[/quote]
Based from what I've read and know it is sunna mu’akkadah (confirmed sunna) to shake hands when men meet with men and women meet with women. Have I misread something?

[quote="Muslim Bro"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]shaking hands with women ur not related to is ALSO forbidden[/quote]
Based from what I've read and know it is sunna mu’akkadah (confirmed sunna) to shake hands when men meet with men and women meet with women. Have I misread something?[/quote]
men shake hands with men, and women with women (not guys with girls and vice versa).

[quote="*DUST*"][quote="Muslim Bro"][quote="MuslimSisLilSis"]shaking hands with women ur not related to is ALSO forbidden[/quote]
Based from what I've read and know it is sunna mu’akkadah (confirmed sunna) to shake hands when men meet with men and women meet with women. Have I misread something?[/quote]
men shake hands with men, and women with women (not guys with girls and vice versa).[/quote]

nah im sure they prefer a hug 😃

lol joke.... I think a kind of acknowledgement is necessary in some situations a gentle knod or whatever is fine among opposite sexes.

The Jewish ruling is generally not to shake hands with the opposite sex, however it is a rabbinical safeguard against other kinds of activities and therefore not of the highest priority. So if someone extends their hand, unless you know they will appreciate the reminder not to, the thing is to shake it and avoid causing embarassment. In particular one wouldn't refuse the hand of a mourner. (I think of that example because the ruling when greeting someone in a period of mourning is not to impose - such as not to extend a hand - unless a hand is extended.) If you know that shaking hands with someone will send you into a sexual frenzy then take responsibility for that and move to a very secluded place in the countryside.

the last line made me laugh sorry.. 😂

Mr Bro

DONT misquote me

i said

[quote="MuslimSisLilSis"][quote="nAS786"]

however in a job interview situation i have shaked hands with non-muslim women , because its professionalism , [/quote]

:roll:

shaking hands with women ur not related to is ALSO forbidden

if YOU have an issue with this then thats YOUR problem[/quote]

Is nAS786 a boy or a girl?

[quote="Muslim Bro"]Is nAS786 a boy or a girl?[/quote]
boy.

So yes a male shaking hands with a female is wrong as MuslimSisLilSis said (apologies to sis) but I don't think relationship is important as if you shake hands with a non-mahram and they are the same sex as you I don't think it matters.

I've just noticed this recently.

I was in pc world buying something and the cashier was a woman and she gave me the change and touched my hand in the process, is that not allowed aswell.

What do you do in these situations....do you say to the cashier can you put the money on the table and I'll get it.

[quote="Muslim Bro"]I've just noticed this recently.

I was in pc world buying something and the cashier was a woman and she gave me the change and touched my hand in the process, is that not allowed aswell.

What do you do in these situations....do you say to the cashier can you put the money on the table and I'll get it.[/quote]

no you smile and walk off...

lol joke.

Dont think too much of it

first time i've been put in this situation. this budda came over, twas doing a survey. at the end he stood up and took his hand out, in my head i was like Ya Allah please don't let him take his hand out! anyho, i had my hands in my pocket and was looking down but he knew i saw his hand so i said 'sorry i don't shake hands' or something like that, he was like 'oh, it's ok, i had to ask anyway' he was bright red by now, i just said 'sorry, its religion stuff'.

Sometimes I bump into old friends (girls) who go to kiss me on the cheek and give me a hug.

I just have to act like I'm in a rush and I'll call them soon etc. and its mostly OK.

When they've found out I'm a Muslim now they are fine with things.

[quote=Ya'qub]Sometimes I bump into old friends (girls) who go to kiss me on the cheek and give me a hug.

I just have to act like I'm in a rush and I'll call them soon etc. and its mostly OK.

When they've found out I'm a Muslim now they are fine with things.[/quote]
Is that before or after they gave you a hug and a kiss? lol.

I am undergoing training at the moment to become a legal advisor. At my last training session the issue of shaking hands came up, do we shake hands when greeting a client or do we just say hi. Our tutor told us that it isnt necessary but if you do decide to shake hands then make sure you dont stick your hand out to an Asian women. She then looked over at me (as i was the only Asian in the room) and said if you want make sure you have something like a file in your hand in case a client attempts to shake your hand.

I think coz of the society that we live in its difficult to have absolute no contact with the opposite sex. What do you do if someone of the opposite sex sits next to you on the bus/train? What about when you go to a shop and they give you your change back? What about attending formal interviews where they insist on having handshakes?

Apparently some scholars say it is allowed, shaking hands.
I know! Give him/her a high five! 😉 😉 🙂 🙂
I haven't heard a scholar disagree with that...... yet.

^^^ not heard that one before but if its true im in favour of it. I think as long as your intentions are clean and there is a perfectly good reason for it i.e. job interview what harm is there in a handshake.

[quote=Naz]^^^ not heard that one before but if its true im in favour of it. I think as long as your intentions are clean and there is a perfectly good reason for it i.e. job interview what harm is there in a handshake. [/quote]

You know, when I saw that you'd replied to this post, I thought: "Oh here goes. Naz is gonna hammer me so badly for my joke! She's gonna butcher me!"

why would i do that? :s

[quote=Naz]^^^ not heard that one before but if its true im in favour of it. I think as long as your intentions are clean and there is a perfectly good reason for it i.e. job interview what harm is there in a handshake. [/quote]

It's not about what we think but what the Quran and Ahadith say.

Since the Qur'an doesn't say anything about this, so it is the ahadith. And Naz said she was in favour of the fatwa by a scholar.

but she hasn't read the fatwa. what if the scholar meant it was ok to shake hands as long as you have a glove on or something. anyway, if you find the fatwa please do post it up. jazakAllah

[quote=Noor]but she hasn't read the fatwa. what if the scholar meant it was ok to shake hands as long as you have a glove on or something. [/quote]

fair do's

[quote=Courage]Apparently some scholars say it is allowed, shaking hands.
I know! Give him/her a high five! 😉 😉 🙂 🙂
I haven't heard a scholar disagree with that...... yet.[/quote]
Do they? Can you please state the scholars and what they say.

Coz the four schools of thought are unanimous, in that shaking hands between unrelated men and women is NOT allowed.

I think we all realise that it's a sin.

But there ARE bigger sins.

I'm sure we all sin throughout the day to some degree, whilst knowing that we do it.

So why don't we all take a chill pill?

(taking drugs is a sin too).

Ofcourse there are bigger sins. But that doesn't mean that we commit smaller sins time and time again and expect Allah (swt) to forgive us every single time.

We are told to lower our gaze, but touching an unrelated person of the opposite sex is much worse than staring at them. So is that a minor sin? Allahu Alam.

@ Noor i know its a sin to to be shaking hands with someone of the opposite sex. I havent read the fatwa nor did i say it were true. All i said was that if (the key word being IF) it were true then i would be in favour of it. I have been to a lot of formal interviews where they shake hands and i have offered my hand in return.

In this country it is hard enough to get a job thanks to Bin Laden and his posse.

What happened then? Did the man say anything? Hope it doesn't affect the interview outcome or anything.

Last week I went into a recruitment agency in my area, and the advisor was a Muslim pakistani dude, mid 20s or something. And cos I'm quiet he was saying I should talk more blah blah and not be shy ^o).
When I was going to leave he extended his arm out I was like sooo shocked man,m he was practicing brother with a beard I was thinking "what the hell, doesn't he know I'm not supposed to" I just said to him, "I don't shake hands" and he was like when I go for interviews I have to shake hands, I said no not really :S

You guys need to relax more. Drink some cola and watch the game.

Just bcoz someone shakes your hand doesn't mean he's gonna start panting like a dog and making googly eyes at you.
Seriously... i mean comeon. There are far more attractive women out there who are WWAAAYYY more obtainable than you. So why would he waste his time? Whats sooo special about you? He doesnt even know you?

Shaking hands is just a formal greeting in this country of ours and we will thrive over it. We will rule over all this land, and we will call it..."this land".

Now quit acting like a bunch of weirdos.