Bollywood Or Bust

Author: 
Alveena Salim

Meera had an incurable brain tumour. The villains found where she lived and shot her in the head. Luckily for her the bullet passed through her ears taking away the tumour along with it, thus curing her in the process…

Who Will You Stand With?

Author: 
Naheem Zaffar

“...and then one day when the air is still and the night has fallen, they come for you. It’s only then you realise while you are talking about organising and committees, the extermination has already begun. Make no mistake my brothers, they will draw first blood. They will force their cure upon us. The only question is will you join my brotherhood and fight? Or wait for the inevitable genocide? Who will you stand with...?”

All Eyes on Me

Muslim woman using her iphone

Muslim woman using her iphone
Muslim woman using her iphone
Author: 
Hafsah bint Sayeed al Awlaqi

I would never have thought a piece of cloth could cause so much fuss. But Jack Straw decides to pull a publicity stunt, Holland does away with the Human Right’s Act, and the next thing you know, pictures of veiled women are plastered across the front pages of almost every newspaper in England.

Issue 7: Aliyah & Jameela

Author: 
Alveena Salim

Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven't seen you in time.

Aliyah: You'll never guess who just asked me out!!!

Jameela: Who?

Aliyah: Iky baby!!!!!!

Jameela: Ikram? The one who looks like Sonic the Hedgehog? Why you messing around with that good- for- nothing unemployed dosser. All he does is drive round the same block 50 times a day!

Ali has been sent down for 18 months for selling Cannabis and Jamal has gone to Egypt to study Islam. In their place we have:

Jameela: Asalaam alaikum sister. I haven’t seen you in time.

You Got Mail!

Author: 
Alveena Salim

SweetGyal says… Phew, he's gone, dat was close-lol

Romeo007 says… Wat happnd?

SweetGyal says… My old man came in, so i had to close the window.

Romeo007 says… Lol-wat did he want?

SweetGyal says… He wanted to no why I was on the comp at 2.30am. i told him i was workin on an important college project due in 2moro.

Romeo007 says… LOL

SweetGyal says… Trust me, ma folks don't no jack, dey wouldn't no the diff between Microsoft Word and MSN Messenger.

SweetGyal says… Phew, he’s gone, dat was close-lol

Romeo007 says… Wat happnd?

Muslims - You Gotta Integrate!

I don’t know about you but I’m sick to death of every Tony, Trevor and David bangin’ on about Muslim integration.

From the issue of the veil to the bombings of 7/7, from the cartoon hoo haa to the Pope’s outburst and from Muslim schools to ‘Muslim ghettos’... yep you’ve guessed it- it’s all because Muslims don’t integrate, innit!

Yeah didn’t you know... ’these Muslims need to integrate more... if they wanna live in our country then they need to live like we do!’.

Life's Too Short

By Alveena Salim

We live in such a fast society. Fast food, fast cars, fast internet and fast communication all means that it's easier to keep touch with loved ones.

However, despite living in such a fast society, how come we're always in a rush? How come we don't have time to keep in touch or to visit loved ones? And how come there are not enough hours in the day to just stop and think of someone other than our own selves?

The underlying reason behind our "busy lifestyle" is that we're selfish; we fail to think or be there for others, because we're too busy worrying about our own selves.

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