salaam
Since the forum is not as fun as it used to be....
i think we need some jokes to brighten things up...
so people.... lets hear your FUNNY jokes...
i'll start with one...you probably have heard it before:
Nelson Mandela is sitting at home watching TV and drinking a beer when he hears a knock at the door. When he opens it, he is confronted by a little Japanese man, clutching a clipboard and yelling: "You Sign! You sign!" Behind him is an enormous truck full of car exhausts.
Nelson is standing there in complete amazement, when the Japanese man starts to yell louder: "You sign for these! You sign!". Nelson says to him,
"Look, you've obviously got the wrong man", and shuts the door in his face.
The next day he hears a knock at the door again. When he opens it, the little Japanese is back with a huge truck of brake pads. He thrusts his
clipboard under Nelson's nose, yelling:
"You sign! You sign!" Mr. Mandela is getting a bit hacked off by now, so he pushes the little Japanese man back, shouting: "Look, go away! You've got the wrong man! I don't want them!" Then he slams the door in his face again.
The following day, Nelson is resting, and late in the afternoon, he hears a knock on the door again. On opening it, there is the same little Japanese
thrusting a clipboard under his nose, shouting:
"You sign for these parts!! You sign!" Behind him are TWO very large trucks full of car parts. This time Nelson loses his temper completely, he picks up the little man by his shirt front and yells at him:
"Look, I don't want these! Do you understand? You must have the wrong name!
Who do you want to give these to?"
The little Japanese man looks at him very puzzled, consults his clipboard
and says
(It's a beauty)
(wait for it)
(Get your Japanese accent ready...)
[b]"You not Nissan Main Dealer ?"[/b]
So in order to make the forum more entertaining you've decided to dumb down and tell racist jokes.
Mujahid is a ****. Nothing he says is of any importance or relavence. Ignore what he says. This ****** claims to be dead, and spends all day thinking derogatory thoughts about women. He is one ******-up little **** who needs to be ***** and then ***** on his *****.
Any forum cannot be interesting and engaging all day every day.
Think of the economic cylcle of boom and bust. A forum goes through something very similar. A forum gets interesting, but it can't maintain the interest, so it slowly gets boring. Soon it can't maintain the boredom, so slowly it gets interesting again. It can't maintain the interest, so it gets boring again and so on and so forth.
Whoa-that was cold
:shock:
I know a racist joke
Two Paki's see an advertisement in a window, reading "be white for £10" .
They both want to become white as they believe they will no longer be subject to racial abuse.
As only one of them has any money, he agrees to try it and if it's good, he'll lend the other Paki £10. He goes into the shop, while the other waits outside. After an hour or so, the Pakie who went to have is skin changed to white comes out looking really good and white.
The other Paki then says "wow that really worked, can you lend me £10 so I can be white as well".
His friend turns round and says "**** off you Paki" and walks off.
somehow i think that was not our polite bro irfan but then again i know how much he hates muji but how come he was swearin at him on this thread?
Ed!! i have already made a thread on jokes :roll:
A Pakistani guy, an Indian guy, a beautiful girl and an old woman were sitting in a train. The train was going through a tunnel and then it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there was a KISSING sound and then a SLAP!
The train came out of the tunnel. The beautiful girl, the old woman and the Pakistani guy were sitting there looking perplexed.
The Indian guy was bent over holding his face, which was red from an apparent slap.
The old woman was thinking:
"That Indian must have tried to kiss that girl and has got slapped."
The Indian guy was thinking:
"Damn it, that Pakistani guy must have tried to kiss the girl, she thought it was me and slapped me."
The girl was thinking:
"That Indian guy must have moved to kiss me, and kissed the Pakistani guy instead and got slapped."
The Pakistani guy was thinking:
"If this train will again pass through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap that Indian guy again.
One day a Paki called Shabir, a decorator was painting a wall white. But on climbing the ladder he slipped and fell into the tub of white paint and was covered in white paint. So he decides to go home and get changed. On the way his boss Asif says "Shabir what's up? What's happened to you?"
Shabir says "I was painting the wall and I was climbing up the ladder and I slipped and I fell into the tub of white paint. Now I'm going home to change my clothes."
Shabir started walking down the street when came across his mate Azam. He says "Shabir what's up? What's happened to you?"
Shabir says "Look, I was painting the wall and I was climbing up the ladder and I slipped and I fell into the tub of white paint. Now I'm going home to change my clothes. Alright!"
"Ok Ok I was only asking!" replied Azam.
Further down the street, Imran sees Shabir and says "Shabir what's up? What's happened to you?"
Shabir says "Flippin' 'eck -look I was painting, climbing up the ladder, slipped, fell in white paint, now going home to get changed!!"
Getting towards his house, his neighbour Rashid says "Shabir what's up? What's happened to you?"
Shabir snaps "f***** Hell, I was painting, slipped, fell, white paint, home, get changed!!, for ****'s sake"
Rashid goes " Hey , I was only asking!"
On approaching his door, Shabir's wife Saima says "Shabir what's up? What's happened to you?"
Shabir goes "F***** hell, I've only been white for 15 minutes and already I can't stand you ****** Pakis!!!
slaam
Irfan that was shocking...and unacceptable...no swearing even with use of asterixs is allowed. Not many ppl agree or like what Muji says, so just ignore it.
By the way my joke was not racist..... anyway every forum needs to have a jokes page.
OK people the jokes need to be toned down, no use of the word 'paki' pls as some find it offensive, also no swear words even with the use of asterixs.
so more jokes please...
wasalaam
Three guys, a Pakistani, a Sri Lankan and an Indian are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
"I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes total" says the Genie.
The Sri Lankan says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Sri Lanka." With a blink of the Genie's eye,'FOOM' the land in Sri Lanka was forever made fertile for farming.
The Indian was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around India, so that no foreigners can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around India.
The Pakistani asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and completely surrounds the state. Nothing can get in or out." The Pakistani says, "My wish is that you fill it up with water."
Back in BLACK
Two pakistanis boarded a shuttle out of washington for New York. One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a fat Sardarji got on and took the aisle seat next to the 2 pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes,wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said, "I think Ill go up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the Sardar, "Ill get it for u."
While he was away, the Pakistani picked up the shoe & spat in it. When the Indian returned with the coke, the other Pakistani said, "That looks good.I think Ill have one too."
Again, the Sardar obligingly went to fetch it.
And while he was gone, the Pakistani picked up the other shoe & spat in it. The Indian returned with the coke & they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to New York.
As the plane was landing the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes & knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on," the Sardar asked, with pain and sorrow. "This enmity between our people... this hatred... this animosity... this spitting in shoes and peeing in the cokes!"
__________________
There a magician on a cruise ship. Since he gets a different crowd every week he thinks he can get away with performing the same tricks every week. Ofcourse the captains parrot is present at all of them and soon enough knows them inside out and half way thru the show starts shouting things like "Its a trick coin" or "Hes using mirrors" the magician gets really annoyed but cant do anything bcoz its the Captains parot.
One day the ship hits some rocks and the ship sinks. The magician is holding onto a piece of the ship adrift at sea, when the parot comes and sits on the wreckage with him and for hours they stare at each other without saying a word.
Then the parot turns around and says: "Okay i give up, what did you do with the ship?"
Back in BLACK