lol. I don't think so - only today I was complaining about the fact that these last two years of marriage have been two of the most stressful years of my life...the only thing that has got me through the ups and downs is the fact that I'm really compatible with my husband..

But what do you want to know?

I'm a qualified teacher - he is a qualified solicitor.

All I wanted in a guy is someone with good manners and someone who takes his deen seriously. He wanted pretty much the same thing.

Before marriage I told him that I'd get bored sitting at home - working (even if its part time) is important to me. He was more than OK with that, cos he didnt want someone who was just a housewife or someone who'd spend her day shopping and wasting all her husbands money or someone who would sit watching TV all day long.

He's not a typical guy - he's seen his mum and his older sister financially contribute together with their partners in the household....he's also seen his father and brother in law do more than their fair share of housework in the house.

Being a 'team' in and out the house is how we work. He doesnt work by himself - nor do I ever do the laundry by myself.

However, even though my job is important...I never bring my work home and don't take on extra responsibilities cos I would never want to work at the expense of my home life. So being a teacher suits us just fine - not sure if it would work as well if I was a docter or a lawyer like him (coming home often like him after 10pm).

Of course, its only natural that I would take time out to raise a family...and I've always said I'd follow him whervever his work takes us - even if I have to leave my work (we're leaving for dubai soon - cos he's got a job there)...

I understand that his job will always be more important than mine..

thats kinda what works for us

MuslimSister wrote:

I'm a qualified teacher - he is a qualified solicitor.

All I wanted in a guy is someone with good manners and someone who takes his deen seriously. He wanted pretty much the same thing.

Before marriage I told him that I'd get bored sitting at home - working (even if its part time) is important to me. He was more than OK with that, cos he didnt want someone who was just a housewife or someone who'd spend her day shopping and wasting all her husbands money or someone who would sit watching TV all day long.

He's not a typical guy - he's seen his mum and his older sister financially contribute together with their partners in the household....he's also seen his father and brother in law do more than their fair share of housework in the house.

Being a 'team' in and out the house is how we work. He doesnt work by himself - nor do I ever do the laundry by myself.

However, even though my job is important...I never bring my work home and don't take on extra responsibilities cos I would never want to work at the expense of my home life. So being a teacher suits us just fine - not sure if it would work as well if I was a docter or a lawyer like him (coming home often like him after 10pm).

Of course, its only natural that I would take time out to raise a family...and I've always said I'd follow him whervever his work takes us - even if I have to leave my work (we're leaving for dubai soon - cos he's got a job there)...

I understand that his job will always be more important than mine..

thats kinda what works for us

I LOVE!!! mashallah!!

Get married, stay at home and take care of your husband and kids...
Choose the path Allah swt has chosen for you. It is when we as indviduals start changing the commands of allah that we find ourselves in the position we are.

The moral fibre of islamic society is being eroded by these western ideologies. Fathers send their daughters to university to become independent so when they get a divorce they are able to fend for themselves! Can you see where it is headed.

We are actually telling our children that they will be divorced, it's just a matter of time. They brainwash their daughters with all this crap and when they get married at the first obstacle they face they want out, why?? because they are independant.

I am not against women studying or working as long as it is under strict shariah guidance, eg. Women only universities and work place.

The problem here is that what you consider to be islamic ideology may not exactly be it.

It may blow ypur mind, but did you know that housewor does not have to he done by women/the wife?

What you are pushing onto people is culture, not Islam.

As was said earlier, women MUST be trained to do all jobs where there need to be women.

More, Islam does not require appartide.

Please can you limit your crusade against women to a few select topics only instead of taking the discussion across too many.

You wrote:

The problem here is that what you consider to be islamic ideology may not exactly be it.

It may blow ypur mind, but did you know that housewor does not have to he done by women/the wife?

What you are pushing onto people is culture, not Islam.

As was said earlier, women MUST be trained to do all jobs where there need to be women.

More, Islam does not require appartide.

"You are making me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry."

Show me one hadith or quranic ayaah that encourages women to go to work??

Apart from gynaecology, and a few medical professions what else is there??

Your statement about islam does'nt require apartheid (segregation of the sexes), clearly shows the western influence and background you come from. May allah have mercy on you. Ameen.

Teaching, counselling.

More if you want complete segregation, women would need heir own taxi services, buses, shops and every other piece of infrastructure too.

Places for exercise, places to take their kids in seclusion.

On the other hand, there is a hadith where the women from the prophets household were FORCED to go to the eid prayer.

More, a famous chef invited the prophet to a meal and the prophet REFUSED to attend til the invitation was extended to ummul mu'mineen hadhrat aisha sideeqa (ra).

You wrote:

Teaching, counselling.

More if you want complete segregation, women would need heir own taxi services, buses, shops and every other piece of infrastructure too.

Places for exercise, places to take their kids in seclusion.

Delete....

You wrote:

Teaching, counselling.

More if you want complete segregation, women would need heir own taxi services, buses, shops and every other piece of infrastructure too.

Places for exercise, places to take their kids in seclusion.

That is exactly why they should'nt work. Also a very good reason why they should wear hijaab(veil) which you quite vehemently oppose. So in cases of necessity or at times when it is just not possible or practical they will not be breaking the command of allah.

As far as exercise is concerned, ever heard of home gyms and exercise equipment?

Not everyone can afford home gyms etc... The veil is compulsory, not niqaab. Women's first priority should be their homes and children, but if they can juggle a halaal career then we' ve no position to stop them. Furthermore, you're brushing aside jobs like gynecologists and teaching as if they arent important, dont do that, me and you both know this is wrong.

Lilly wrote:

Not everyone can afford home gyms etc... The veil is compulsory, not niqaab. Women's first priority should be their homes and children, but if they can juggle a halaal career then we' ve no position to stop them. Furthermore, you're brushing aside jobs like gynecologists and teaching as if they arent important, dont do that, me and you both know this is wrong.

What is the difference between the niqaab and veil?

I did not say gynecologists were not important, they have my deepest sympathy and respect, I really don't know how they do it all day long...

Sure halaal jobs within the confines of shariah are fine, I am not against that.

zdc wrote:

I did not say gynecologists were not important, they have my deepest sympathy and respect, I really don't know how they do it all day long...

OK, lets assume that is the one job that is allowed and you also want total segregation.

These women would require transport, they would require support from human resources and other doctors. They will need advice, education and training.

In your world where men and women are to be totally segregated, these women will need these services provided by other women.

They will need to eat. they need to buy food and clothes and equipment.

In short, it will lead to dual infrastructures, where there will be a requirement of one thing for men and another of the same thing for women.

Besides, Ummul Mu'mineen Hadhrat Khadija (as) was a business woman. I am sure you have been informed that she became aware of the prophet after he had been hired to do some trade on her behalf...

zdc wrote:

The moral fibre of islamic society is being eroded by these western ideologies. Fathers send their daughters to university to become independent so when they get a divorce they are able to fend for themselves! Can you see where it is headed.

We are actually telling our children that they will be divorced, it's just a matter of time. They brainwash their daughters with all this crap and when they get married at the first obstacle they face they want out, why?? because they are independant.

.

Dad sent me to university so that I could get a good job and become financially independent. Divorce was the last thing on his mind.

Whilst it was my fathers responsibility to provide for me - I felt extremely uncomfortable expecting my father to pay for my car, petrol, uni books and clothes etc when at one time he was paying the university tuition fees for three of his children.

Alhumdulliallah, I was blessed enough to be in employment and be in a position to take care of my own needs.

Sometimes, things are complicated. Not everyone has the same type of financial situation at any given time.

My dad arrived in this country as a immigrant - he struggled to find work so my mother had to be the breadwinner for the first year of their marriage. Fortunately, cos of her university education she was in a position to help out her husband.

The recession hit my husband really hard in the second year of our marriage - he was out of work for a year. He couldnt find work anywhere. I was in employment and Alhumdullillah, I was in a position to support my husband for a year.

So, the idea that a university degree prepares a woman for divorce is laughable. If anything, my degree only served to strengthen my marriage.

Plus, we live in a time and society that looks after women who are divorced, widowed, single etc etc - with or without a university education.

Not having a university degree doesnt tie you down to any man.

You wrote:

zdc wrote:

I did not say gynecologists were not important, they have my deepest sympathy and respect, I really don't know how they do it all day long...

OK, lets assume that is the one job that is allowed and you also want total segregation.

These women would require transport, they would require support from human resources and other doctors. They will need advice, education and training.

In your world where men and women are to be totally segregated, these women will need these services provided by other women.

They will need to eat. they need to buy food and clothes and equipment.

In short, it will lead to dual infrastructures, where there will be a requirement of one thing for men and another of the same thing for women.

Besides, Ummul Mu'mineen Hadhrat Khadija (as) was a business woman. I am sure you have been informed that she became aware of the prophet after he had been hired to do some trade on her behalf...

But then contact should be kept at a minimum, and obviously this is where the face veil comes in handy. So do we agree the veil is necessary?? DO WE AGREE??

The whole incident of Khadija (RA) took place before the advent of Islam and Nabuwat.

MuslimSister wrote:

zdc wrote:

The moral fibre of islamic society is being eroded by these western ideologies. Fathers send their daughters to university to become independent so when they get a divorce they are able to fend for themselves! Can you see where it is headed.

We are actually telling our children that they will be divorced, it's just a matter of time. They brainwash their daughters with all this crap and when they get married at the first obstacle they face they want out, why?? because they are independant.

.

Dad sent me to university so that I could get a good job and become financially independent. Divorce was the last thing on his mind.

Whilst it was my fathers responsibility to provide for me - I felt extremely uncomfortable expecting my father to pay for my car, petrol, uni books and clothes etc when at one time he was paying the university tuition fees for three of his children.

Alhumdulliallah, I was blessed enough to be in employment and be in a position to take care of my own needs.

Sometimes, things are complicated. Not everyone has the same type of financial situation at any given time.

My dad arrived in this country as a immigrant - he struggled to find work so my mother had to be the breadwinner for the first year of their marriage. Fortunately, cos of her university education she was in a position to help out her husband.

The recession hit my husband really hard in the second year of our marriage - he was out of work for a year. He couldnt find work anywhere. I was in employment and Alhumdullillah, I was in a position to support my husband for a year.

So, the idea that a university degree prepares a woman for divorce is laughable. If anything, my degree only served to strengthen my marriage.

Plus, we live in a time and society that looks after women who are divorced, widowed, single etc etc - with or without a university education.

Not having a university degree doesnt tie you down to any man.

Very inspiring story, I am happy for you.
Am I the only one surprised at how easy it is for women to find jobs in today's society and men to end up at home?
The west has got us soo tightly twisted in a knot we actually agree with all their plots and ideologies.

I am still waiting for someone to point out to me where in the quran or hadith women are encourage to work? Someone, anyone??

One last point, I would never eat off a woman, I would work in a mine, carry garbage, clean toilets, heck even take part in underground illegal cage fighting, but never eat of a woman....

Shut up zdc, u really have nothi g to stand on with your pervert ideas and weird logic. Not everyone go into uni thinking of divorce, some actually think about marriage! in today's society, 'manly' job cant be found anymore, mining and that. There aee more joba fo girls, just because guys dont wana do those jobs... Islam talks about equality betwee man and woman, but you seem to thi k ALL women are below you, thats quite mean and jerk behaviour.

muslimsis, you should just ignore him..

Lilly wrote:

Shut up zdc, u really have nothi g to stand on with your pervert ideas and weird logic. Not everyone go into uni thinking of divorce, some actually think about marriage! in today's society, 'manly' job cant be found anymore, mining and that. There aee more joba fo girls, just because guys dont wana do those jobs... Islam talks about equality betwee man and woman, but you seem to thi k ALL women are below you, thats quite mean and jerk behaviour.

muslimsis, you should just ignore him..

Lilly, lilly, lilly!

I understand you think I am jerk, no offence taken, maybe I am.
But this is not you talking, it is the western influence you have grown up with that is talking. I know many, many good muslim brothers, who would not even think about marrying a career woman. They have their reasons, and believe me they are not perverted like me.

It is when we put our own logic and reasoning before allah, we start to get trampled upon in the world. When we let go of sunnah, when we start justifying things that were never pracitised by this ummah before, that is when we become trash for all of mankind to walk upon. We have stripped our children of their very first right, the right to a pious allah fearing mother. Hence the condition of this muslim ummah. We are chasing after the senseless gains of this world at the price of our and our childrens aakhirah.

REVIVE YOURSELVES OH MOTHERS OF THE BELIEVERS,

You cry at the condition of the muslim men in today's time,
What do you expect when you have taken away their first madressah, the lap of the mother,
How can you expect them to become like Umar Farooq(RA) when you have left them to mercy of creche's and in the hands of the disbelievers,
How do you expect them to rule over the world, when you don't even rule over your own home,
How do you expect them to adopt taqwa, when you cannot even accept the command of niqaab.
How do you expect them to become good husbands, when you could not never become a good mother.....

zdc wrote:

You wrote:

zdc wrote:

I did not say gynecologists were not important, they have my deepest sympathy and respect, I really don't know how they do it all day long...

OK, lets assume that is the one job that is allowed and you also want total segregation.

These women would require transport, they would require support from human resources and other doctors. They will need advice, education and training.

In your world where men and women are to be totally segregated, these women will need these services provided by other women.

They will need to eat. they need to buy food and clothes and equipment.

In short, it will lead to dual infrastructures, where there will be a requirement of one thing for men and another of the same thing for women.

Besides, Ummul Mu'mineen Hadhrat Khadija (as) was a business woman. I am sure you have been informed that she became aware of the prophet after he had been hired to do some trade on her behalf...

But then contact should be kept at a minimum, and obviously this is where the face veil comes in handy. So do we agree the veil is necessary?? DO WE AGREE??

No. as I mentioned, there are ahadith that mention/hint at the opposite to what you say.

zdc wrote:

The whole incident of Khadija (RA) took place before the advent of Islam and Nabuwat.

The prophet didn't commit sin even before declaring prophethood. Read up on your aqeeda, dude!

You wrote:

No. as I mentioned, there are ahadith that mention/hint at the opposite to what you say.

zdc wrote:

The whole incident of Khadija (RA) took place before the advent of Islam and Nabuwat.

The prophet didn't commit sin even before declaring prophethood. Read up on your aqeeda, dude!

Show me the ahadith, I will send it for explanation.

I never said nabi Saw committed a sin, I was talking about women doing business and working.

zdc wrote:

One last point, I would never eat off a woman, I would work in a mine, carry garbage, clean toilets, heck even take part in underground illegal cage fighting, but never eat of a woman....

When the Prophet (Saw) had no more money to give to the poor and needy, Khadija (RA) gave the Prophet her money to use and he accepted so why wouldn't you?

Prophet Muhammad said:
"Whosoever has in his heart, even a atom of pride he will not enter paradise."

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

zdc wrote:

One last point, I would never eat off a woman, I would work in a mine, carry garbage, clean toilets, heck even take part in underground illegal cage fighting, but never eat of a woman....

When the Prophet (Saw) had no more money to give to the poor and needy, Khadija (RA) gave the Prophet her money to use and he accepted so why wouldn't you?

Prophet Muhammad said:
"Whosoever has in his heart, even a atom of pride he will not enter paradise."

Power of Silence comes and go but when she comes...she comes!

You rule girl!!!!

zdc wrote:

Very inspiring story, I am happy for you.
Am I the only one surprised at how easy it is for women to find jobs in today's society and men to end up at home?

One last point, I would never eat off a woman, I would work in a mine, carry garbage, clean toilets, heck even take part in underground illegal cage fighting, but never eat of a woman....

There's nothing really surprising about it - I qualified in the education sector. My husband qualified in the corporate sector. The world always needs teachers, however the recession mainly hit those working in the financial sector.

And regarding your second point, like ThePower pointed out - the Holy Prophet did not see it as being below him to take help from his wife - why are you any different?

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

zdc wrote:

One last point, I would never eat off a woman, I would work in a mine, carry garbage, clean toilets, heck even take part in underground illegal cage fighting, but never eat of a woman....

When the Prophet (Saw) had no more money to give to the poor and needy, Khadija (RA) gave the Prophet her money to use and he accepted so why wouldn't you?

Prophet Muhammad said:
"Whosoever has in his heart, even a atom of pride he will not enter paradise."

The prophet of Allah (SAW) was restricted from working by Allah swt, his sole purpose in life was to spread the deen of Islam. Allah swt took it upon himself to take care of his nabi.

I am not restricted from working and nothing in shariah forces me to take anything from a woman. So you may call it pride, I call it principles.

other cultures probably share the same principles and most men too...

?

ZDC:

Hi.

Is there something wrong with you?

Tell us all.

s.b.f wrote:

ZDC:

Hi.

Is there something wrong with you?

Tell us all.

I'm sure theres nothing more wrong with him, than the average person.
Everyone has problems, issues, certain beliefs, principles and so on.
The only thing wrong with him really is he seems to enjoy acting perverted on an Islamic forum. Either that or he is trying to portray a "real" man on here or he really IS like that. Either way he's "gone"

I would prefer to mainly live off my husband (but have my own earning too - a safety net)

Back to the Q:

Do Istikharah

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

I'm sure theres nothing more wrong with him, than the average person.
Everyone has problems, issues, certain beliefs, principles and so on.

LOL

s.b.f wrote:

ThE pOwEr Of SiLeNcE wrote:

I'm sure theres nothing more wrong with him, than the average person.
Everyone has problems, issues, certain beliefs, principles and so on.

LOL

Do you not agree? is his behaviour really not normal? you must know some great, like-minded people!

s.b.f wrote:

ZDC:

Hi.

Is there something wrong with you?

Tell us all.

out of interest, what tone of voice was this asked in?