salaams,
Do you believe in casts? There are so many. Im a Rahja as my parents tell me. My parents want us be married in the same cast. What difference will it make if they arnt the same cast? we had issues regarding this with my family because the girl my bro wanted to marry was a chaudary.
casts
Published by Shaz on 15 May, 2008 - 16:09
This is a question for all those "Muslims" who believe in the caste system.
Are you Hindu? Or are you Muslim?
Does Islam recognise the caste system? No!
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
im a muslim
then why do parents create an issue about it?
life is for living, live it peacefully...
Allah ho Alim! Culture, probably. Certain cultural ideologies cloud your judgement and rational thought.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
Hell no and anyone that does needs to be shot!
Because some ppl through i dont know lack of education/ignorance think that the way a Muslim behaves ie if they drink do weed must be linked to their caste. The lower the caste the more likely it is that they will not be practicing Muslims. What a load of crap.
Im surprised about your parents having a probs with your bro marrying a chaudary, normally the girls who are of chaudary "caste" are never allowed to marry outside their "caste". Chaudarys, specifically Benz Raj Poots are very cultured ppl.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
lol. The only reason i said it were coz im a Raj poot myself so im talking from experience plus no one can accuse me of being discriminative (like they always do). If your not a Raj poot then you cant comment. (only jokin feel free
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Its a way to belittle people and make themselves better than others.
Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who couldn't hear the music...
The cast system is a load of BS and has no place in Islam. A muslim is a muslim is a muslim.
Its pretty much 100% cultural crap which alot of our Paki/Indi ancestors adopted from the Hindu's.
Back in BLACK
very much so
[img]http://www.inminds.co.uk/Boycott-Israel-006.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.vivapalestina.org/images/website/viva_banner-strap.jpg[/img]
that they are not leading with an Islamic model (way of life) ? , their recent dealings with BAE and in my opinion lack of support for Palestine confirms what a disgusting group of people are in charge of the Prophet (SAW)'s land.
[img]http://www.inminds.co.uk/Boycott-Israel-006.jpg[/img]
[img]http://www.vivapalestina.org/images/website/viva_banner-strap.jpg[/img]
In terms of royal family, I agree there are many similarities to the Caste System...
But I think it is not quite accurate to say that a royal family is the SAME as the caste system...The Caste system permeates through the whole of society and everyone is effected, and includes class of 'untouchables' who are shunned by society for no other reason than because their parents are from a particular family.
In Saudi there is a clear distinction between 'royal' and 'non-royal', but that is it. There is no real status difference amongst the non-royals.
It could be argued that there is a similar gap between the 'elite' and the 'average person' in every country in the world. It is extremely difficult to move 'up' the social ranks because of the way society is organised: Education, healthcare, the legal system etc are designed to keep society 'in check' (the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor).
The only real difference between Indian Caste system and Western Society is that in India people's social position is clear, and they know that it is extremely difficult to 'move up' a class, whereas in the West we are told that it is a 'meritocracy' and that all of us have the potential to be successful. Maybe this is just an illusion put in place by 'them' to stop 'us' from having a resolution.
/takes of Marxist hat.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
That reminds me.
Upper Class: eg. king, queen.
Middle Class: eg. barrister, doctor.
Working Class: eg. most people.
Remember peeps to not mix cast/tribes and racism.
The quran says that people have tribes so that they may be known. There is nothing wrong in using it as recognition. The prophet
was from the Banu Hashim, who were a part of the Quraysh.
Casts are only wrong when used as a form of racism.
Not really. Right sorry if you don't know what I'm on about.
Upper class: peers, royals and proper posh people
Middle Class: A- doctors, lawyers etc
B- Teachers, Inspectors etc
C2(I would say middle class)- Aeronautical Engineers etc
Working Class: C1- Routine white collar work
D- Semi-skilled/manual
E- Un-skilled
It's a crude system of working it out yeah but it's the official one.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
i no what u mean, i am having problems at my house because of "caste" my family do not wish to get me married out of caste because they say it will bring shame in the family. i am having a hard time to get them to understand that caste doesnt exist in islam bt they do not listen. i have no idea in what to do
Mine was more Sociology.
OK, firstly are you a guy or a girl?
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
i am a girl
OK, that probably makes the situation a little harder. Do you have brothers or sisters? They can be a good tool and support especially brothers who support you.
I can't give you a full thesis on what to do, or else we'll be here for 30 years and I'll fail my exams!
But what I can say is, be firm but respectful. Make it clear that you don't believe in the caste system, and there's more to marriage and life than false honour. And marrying someone who's slighlty poorer or different from you isn't going to shame anyone but narrow minded people.
Obviously that's easier said than done, mate, but Inshallah with a bit of dua and effort we'll get there!
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
my brothers and sisters are not on my side. i am the only 1 who is trying to get my parents to understand. all they say is that it will bring shame in family and we cant go to their house and neither they can come to our house, its best to get married in the family
If there's such strong opposition from your family, perhaps it would be wise to let it drop. Family support in a marriage are very important, especially when things arent working out. Besides we are taught to respect and obey our parents even when we know what they are in the wrong. The most we can do is try and explain it to them and if they dont get it... then let it go. Is it really worth upsettng your entire family over?
Back in BLACK
Yeah, family support in marriage is important but with obedience comes limits and we can't let ANYONE, and I'm sorry but that includes are parents, walk all over us or treat us like dirt.
Stress, mate, what you can do is hold firm to the idea that you don't accept the caste system, without trying to imply that you want to marry outside of the "caste".
It sucks, I know, but you have to hold on, even if it SEEMS as though you condone the caste system. Maybe, Inshallah you're family will one day see your view and accept it. But for now work with what you have which is refusing to accept the caste system, I mean refuse to marry someone just because they're from your caste. That's the first step. And hopefully one day this caste system will be shattered.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
And if candy and lemon drops were trees we'd all be in la-la-land. Im not saying anyone should support the stupid caste system, it sux big time. I get it. But lets face reality here: if your parents still dont get it after explaining it to them well the chances of them eventually seeing the light are next to zero. In which case you can hold onto your ideals all you want until your a lonely old spinster and nothing would have changed.
Or you could just drop it and let them be. But make it clear where you stand. Pretending to go with it isnt really gonna help anyone.
You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson here is, never try.
Back in BLACK
I'm not saying you should declare a social war, Seraph! All I'm saying is that you should make it clear where you stand, like you've said and not let yourself be forced into a marriage. I'm not saying that she should be a spinster all her life or she should run away with some guy.
But how do you know, they'll never ever get it. Because they might. Just maybe. There's a chance. Sometimes it's small sometimes it's a fair chance. Giving up and letting yourself be walked over is the reason why all this trouble happens. It's when we shut up and put up with it when the real trouble happens!
She doesn't have to do that. She doesn't have to be forced to marry someone from the same caste purely for that reason.
People normally eventually wake up and smell the coffee, most but not all.
She has three choices. Accept the caste system and marry whoever her parents tell her, run away with the guy or refuse to marry someone because of the caste and pray and hope and make a patient effort so that her family eventually sympathises with her.
First two are a bad idea. The second one is something that MIGHT work, but not for the weak. It's a big challenge, a risk and a difficult task but she can use time to her advantage.
Or she can give up, not try, be unhappy for the rest of her life and ruin the whole point of marriage.
That's her choice and not ours.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
I think she means her potential husband.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
The alternative is being married to someone who you dont love. All your gonna be doing is arguing with that person and its not fair on your kids coz they are the ones that suffer.
No guy (and vice versa no woman) is worth losing your family over. God forbid should your marriage not work out and your wife/husband throw you out of the house, what you gonna do? You have no family to turn to coz they have disowned you when you decided to marry someone they didnt approve of and your homeless now. No marriage can work unless both of your families get on.
And another thing if you know your parents arent gonna let you marry someone of a different caste/culture/ethnicity why go looking for such a person in the first place. And dont give me that "oh well you cant help who you fall for" coz you can, no one has forced you to get into that situation. By doing so your only making life harder and its you thats gonna end up hurting when your parents dont want you to marry the guy/girl.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
thank you, i no what you mean, now a days parents are following culture instead of islam, i have no idea why they think being in the same "cast" will be better, they consider what other people would say than what is best for their children. dat is the type of community that i am living in and if a marriage of a same "cast" fails then they dont learn from the mistake bt to react it again.
i have got 1 older bro and 1 older sister, i no this is going to sound really bad bt they do not read the quran and pray, they both work full time and its not an excuse that i am using for them but my brother is like a mummys boy and he listens to everythin my mum says. mahshallah ive been reading the quran, the english version every day and it seems to make so much sense than what my mum says, and now that i have tried to explain to them they do not wish to know and then they say you can not get married out of family and the other family are not good people (my family have never met the other family except the father for about half an hour)
I would say be patient, but still stand firm, don't let them force you into anything, but don't jump in at the other end either. This is a critical point of your life. Maybe some of your cousins or practising Muslim friends can help you here.
Chin up, mate! Life's too short.
are your parents practicing?
research some ahadith regarding casts etc and ayat and present it to your parents with all the references. i'd love to see how anyone could/would argue against ahadith.
my mum is, bt she is one of the mothers who think backwards and so does not want shame in the family. i do love my parents but there are some things that what they say is not in the quran and when i do confront her about this she does not wish to listen and says that i acting like i am older than her
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