Theres a certain beauty in being a lone wolf. You have all the time you need to do things YOU want to do, like talking to yourself, playing solitaire, going to see that movie you really wanna see or try to carry that couch into your new house all by yourself.
Then again, there would have been times when you'd have prefered to have a friend. You know... to have lunch with, sharing jokes, doing some sort of recreational activity. Someone you ring when things go in the cr@pper. Someone you turn to for advice. Or someone whose just on the same wavelength as you.
Every now and then you'll either move to a new school, college, uni... work place and you're back to square one. New place = new people. And since you dont wanna spend your time being sad and lonely the only other thing you can do is make the best of it and make friends. Or i assume thats what you would prefer to do. I guess some people have issues where they "think" other people wont like them or think they're weird or something... which stops them from connecting with new people. Then again theres people who just prefer being alone, working alone, living alone.
They say a person is judged by the company he keeps. Which ive always interpreted as meaning people will see you as your friends appear to them. So if they're all Holly molly then they may think the same of you. If they're all a bunch of crack addicts then the same will apply to you. Im not sure if theres really any other way you can interpretate that.
Unfortunately the sad truth is not everyone knows how to make friends. Sad but true. A lot of people don't and I have even found that some bullies end up bullying because they don't know what to do either. Then they get stuck with the label of bully and don't know how to change.
There are some people who automatically make friends. They're generally very likable people, they like other people... people like them things just tend to flow. On the other end theres folks who dont make friends that easy... coz they're shy or whatever. Generally for such people it helps for them to have a game plan, a strategy. Although this is a good a time as any to say this is not for me... although im sure i'll get people insinuating otherwise.
So I guess what im asking is... what are you're friend making tips.
Heres mine:
[b]1.[/b] Go places where you will meet people with similar interests. A no brainer really.
[b]2.[/b] Talk to people. Dont be under the impression people will automatically include you in their groups or will strike up conversations with you. You know why? Bcoz these people generally had lives before you turned up. So talk to them Introduce yourself. Typically once you've introduced yourself the other person will do the same.
[b]3.[/b] Be fun to be around. Im not asking you to be the class clown or be all hyperactive. Im saying be positive and open. Generally people are attracted to other positive people. No one wants to hang around a grouch coz he makes every1 else feel bad. So be upbeat... fake it if you have to.
[b]4.[/b] Be a good listener.. Many people think that in order to be seen as "friend material" they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you're interested in others.
[b]5.[/b] Be yourself... well not completely coz they're probably not ready to handle all of you. But generally be yourself.
erm if i go to a place where there are a bunch of ppl i tend to scan the room first.
You can tell a persons personality just from looking at their appearance (i know you shouldn’t judge and draw assumptions from the way ppl dress but it works for me every time and i have always been right so i stick with that method lol.)
Secondly i tend to approach ppl who are on their own rather than groups.
Thirdly just be yourself, don’t try to put on a a front because they will see right through you. If they dont like the real you well then they aint worth bothering with so just move on.
Fourthly it does help to be a good listener but some ppl do have a habit of going on with themselves so don’t feel like your being rude by cutting them off otherwise you could be there all day.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
i aint big on being a social butterfly
im more likely to sit in the corner of the room and analyse people
their clothes, looks, behaivour etc
im happy with one or two friends in my life - which i easily make wherever i am
I mostly mean when you go to a new place. Like a new college, uni, work place etc... any new situation where you will be for some time and DONT know anyone. What do ya do?
How do you go about meeting people and making friends? Any tips for the socially awkward.
Back in BLACK
When you're at uni you can join clubs/societies,
so if you like poetry for example you can join the poetry club where you can go and huddle around and tell each other poetries you've made up :twisted:
if you're finding making friends hard at uni then maybe you can make friends with the lecturers, they'll be more than happy
is that what u do? :twisted:
yeah i agree with MuslimBro joining clubs/socities at uni is a good way to make friends. They have a variety from chess club to a islam club. Otherwise try sitting next to ppl in lectures and seminars and try to strike up a conversation that way.
cant think of anymore at this momnet in time but when i do il be sure to post them
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
Don't bother.
Works for me.
Ofcourse I can sometimes see the "need" in others to socialise. That is the time I normally I try to avoid them.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
In uni you have to socialise its the only way your ever gonna get through it.
Plus its good to meet new ppl from other cultures/religions and backgrounds.
Also another point you dont really have a choice in some siutations esp when it comes to group work and presentations then you have to get along.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
I don’t have a problem striking up a conversation with people – whoever they are.
And cos I’ve done agency work, changed schools a lot since I was a kid, been placed in different schools for my placements. I’m used to meeting new faces.
Thing is…wherever you are. Be it in a test centre for your driving test. In Uni. At work. Waiting for a bus…you usually have a common ground to talk to the person you’re sitting next to.
Being yourself usually helps. Unless you have social issues, making friends shouldn’t really be a problem
No, I was just saying.
None of my lecturers even know my name.
if your use to change then you get into the habit of making conversation. But if its been a while some ppl tend to forget how its done or just cant be bothered because its too much effort.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
this aint something to think about
its sumin that should come naturally
if a person does give a lot of thought to this
it implies social issues
I disagree.
If a tiger is fed 24/7 by zoo keepers and then you put him back in the jungle... even he would have forgotten how to hunt.
Its the same with people.
On the other hand some people just dont make friends easily and just dont know what to do. In such a situation, events have to be coerced and manipulated in order to gain the desired affect.
If i had to give a tip it would be to find like minded people. They dont have to be exact carbon copies of you... but mentally near enough. And talk for heavens sake... no ones gonna know what your like unless you talk. Give your opinon on things. Also try helping people out, obviously not to the extent where they're taking advantage of you.
Back in BLACK
Not necessarily true. Felines can go wild again. Canine's cannot.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
I think u'll find ur wrong.
Back in BLACK
I think u'll find ur wrong.
:twisted:
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
no you.. You
Back in BLACK
no i have to disagree with that point. While it would be the sensible thing to do when making friends i have always found that it can get a bit boring if the other person shares all your views. There is no room for discussion/arguments and me what can i say i love a good argument.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy
this aint sumin to learn, study, think about and discuss
either u got it
or u aint
fakers are always caught out
A faker is only a faker if they over-compensate for a percieved defficiency.
If someone tries to go from shy and retiring to overly confident rude-boy overnight then they are a fake.
But if someone were to make subtle changes over time to their persona or communication skills then that's not faking. That's a genuine attempt to be personable and sociable.
i think making friends is a tool we all possess within us. Some of us easily adpat to new changing surroundings while others find it difficult to adjust to their new surroundings therefore making it difficult to make friends.
I think modern technology plays a big part in how we interact with others. I think those ppl that spend alot of time watching tv, on the playstation and the computer get into the habit of not verbally communicating with ppl face to face they begin to fear ppl and feel they have forgotten how to communicate.
Well thats my theory.
No not the gum drop buttons! – Gingy