Is it possible to force yourself to be a better person

I Dont think it's so much motive, more the opportunity, meaning the situation your in, the trials you face in life and the people around you, which therefore makes influence a factor.

But then if a person really wants to change... I guess they don't need the oppurtunity rather just self motivation.... Therefore I disagree you don't need both motive and oppurtunity.... It really all depends on the individual and circumstances their in.

If its not within there nature then yes they need to force themself-part of our self struggle(jihad)

Sincerity is important too

[quote=Anonymous1]

Sincerity is important too[/quote]

I guess that would come with wanting to become a better person anyway but defintely a good thing to remember...

[quote=Suhail]But then if a person really wants to change... I guess they don't need the oppurtunity rather just self motivation.... Therefore I disagree you don't need both motive and oppurtunity.... It really all depends on the individual and circumstances their in.[/quote]

Without the "opportunity", what are the chances of avoiding old habits etc when the urgency for change inevitably dies down?

[quote=You]I while ago I either read or came to the conclusion that for someone to change, they need both motive AND opportunity. Without one of the other, people will generally stay the same.

Motive is obvious - the person has to want to change.

Opportunity is less obvious - events or actions that jolt a person out of their comfort zones allowing them to try to get a few rounds of changes within them, to change (hopefully for the better).

Do you think this is true or can people force themselves to change otherwise?

How do people get themselves to change for the better?[/quote]
Might be a very very long process that begins with considering a neat way of summarising stuff that needs to change and a neat way of summarising how you would rather have it and generally getting involved with people and telling them how hard you're trying not to be like the old you, and they might help you work out what to do, and they might not but you have honest relationships again, and then other stuff will go wrong and it will be refreshing to have a new problem.

And that doesn't mean submitting your sins or surrendering oneself; it means being real.

Not easy. I'm always struggling to keep myself in check - reminding myself of the right way to behave/treat others etc.

However, the right company helps a LOT. I know for a fact that I'm a much nicer person since I've got married - my husband has a tendency to bring out the best in me. I've also noticed that in certain circles, I start saying/doing things that is not me - again its the effect of company.

However, generally speaking if something is considered important enough for you, then generally you will be willing to make a change.

Sincerity, struggle and the right company helps a lot.

"The willingness to do creates the ability to do..." - Peter McWilliams