Whether it happens at a wedding, funeral, a soppy movie or even the death of a pet dog, modern men cry at least six times a year, according to a new study.
The German Society of Ophthalmology has proven wrong the old adage that real men do not cry, with the more sensitive new age bloke letting the waterworks rip up to 17 times a year.
On average women cry between 30 and 64 times a year.
They do so for longer periods and in a more dramatic fashion than men, with full-blown weeping happening in 65 percent of all cases among women, according to the study, which collated different scientific studies on the phenomenon.
Men on average will get teary for about two minutes, while women can weep for up to six minutes at a time.
Women cry when they feel insecure, when they are confronted by situations that are difficult to resolve or when they remember past events.
Men, meanwhile, tend to cry from empathy or when a relationship fails.
From 9 News
So what do guys think on this?
How many times do you lot cry do you think..a month?
The numbers seem to be exceedingly high to me...
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Which numbers? For men or women?
both?
Crying 64 times is more than once a week... but I would not really know what is realistic here.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
The German College of Ophthalmology did a research in epiphora + emotions?
I know men who have very soft hearts. I wouldn't be surprised if they cry every night.
I haven't cried properly for years. Including when my dad died and when I saw the ka'bah. I've even tried and nothing ever came out.
Don't just do something! Stand there.
Assalamu^alaykum
From my experience I have not seen many men cry, especially not in public. Some say they prefer to be emotional in their own private time rather than in other people's company. But different people work differently.
Do you guys think that if a man was to cry in publib i.e. in the presence of his friends or family, that would be seen as a major sign of weakness??
**If my only crime is that I loved the family of Muhammad then that is such a crime from which I will never repent- Imam Al Shafi^**
I'm someone who doesn't cry in front of people. Even if I feel the tears coming out and people are looking at me, I'll try and hold it in.
It's a personal thing and it's not because its a sign of weakness.
However, there have been times where I wanted to cry but just couldn't. Cutting onions helps.
society expects girls to cry instantly, and it expects boys hold their tears. Well i defy all that rubbish. I'm a girl and i find it extremely hard to cry at the expected times. i can only remember being at a funeral once, i did not cry. generally movies don't make me cry especially chick flicks. I refuse to cry in public because i don't want pity. i dont want someone putting their hand on my shoulder and saying there there let it out, i don't need oprah therapy. if i want to cry i control myself and do it in private. unless of course i lose my composure and go insane, which can happen to the best of us,even men.
i'm a tough cookie, childbirth no painkillers thanks to Allah, but i was granted the odd screaming, and or crying i did neither. i made some sort of sound but it was not screaming i don't know how to scream. im one of those girls that will go on a rollercoaster and open my mouth but no sound will come out lol
men do cry, and paleeze don't all of you jump in and pretend you are soo macho. men are no longer what they used to be, men of steel you are not. more like cotton wool. my brothers all five of um oldest in his thirties cried when i got married. they cried again when i relocated. one of them gets emotional with certain movies, but he will just say he's getting a cold ya right, we've heard that one before!
personally i try not to cry in public because i see it as a weakness in me, especially if someone else manages to make me cry. i don't want them to see that, why should i give them that satisfaction or advantage over me? i've had issues with family growing up and for me it's a defense mechanism i will not let anyone think they have a hold over me, so those tears aren;t allowed unless im alone. course its a load of rubbish, but i can't get out of this mentality
ironically i don't think crying in others is a weakness. in fact crying is a way of letting out your emotions, frustrations, anger etc. It's very therapeutic, you owning your emotions, in that sense it's empowering. So men, brothers don't be a afraid to cry just let it out, we sisters will look upon you as strong emotionally fit men, notice i did not say asthetically fit, in case you misunderstand.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
Do you really think there has been a change over the ages? or just a change of perception over how people in the past were?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
This study does not refer to all males.
Only men who push prams cry.
push prams?
i dont understand why men have to look all hard and macho and not be seen crying. i wouldnt see someone, guy or girl, who's crying as being weak; its just a way of dealing with your emotions and crying makes u feel a lot better than keeping it all in!
obviously its different if u can't cry, theres nothing u can do about that.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
The strongest man is one who will admit that he has cried or does at whatever situation makes him do so and not be ashamed about it
I guess 64 times a year does seem high.
For me, I've become soft in the head lately esp nearing my 3rd decade so anything brings tears to me eyes;
Young children having fun/ saying funny things
Poverty
Rememberence of Allah and seeing landscape whilst looking out at countryside when travelling
Qur'an
Stories about Prophets
Sad things
Bad things
Bad people
Dopey dumbo people (someone @ work asked "what's a capital city", someone once asked me if I was sure that I'm not Bengali,))
Remembering sister's wedding
Remembering those who have passed on
Price of a bar of chocolate
Not much really .................
good question You, i think it's a change of perception, but that's based on my experiences, rather than any sort of scientific studies.
what's wrong with a father pushing a pram with "HIS" kids in it? Ridiculous statement, this is the second time ive heard that rubbish.
“O my people! Truly, this life of the world is nothing but a (quick passing) enjoyment, and verily, the hereafter that is the home that will remain forever.” [Ghafir : 39]
Yeah, it is always the case and sometimes weird.
We sometimes compare the youth of today with the elderly pensioners of today wondering why the youth are so different, but no one mentions that when those pensioners were younger, they may also have been different to how they became after 60+ years of life...
(yes, it is a bad example as in the cases of migration, there is also a massive environment change to go there too...)
in the same way... mentioning the men of today as crying as a new things... when crying and a soft heart are islamically encouraged, so it is not a total dichotomy.
Same with the other emotions - there are tales centuries, maybe even mllenia old that mention the same thing, so I think there is sometimes a flaw in perception because of either a lack of information, or by comparing apples to oranges.
Yes, I do also agree that many men today could not live in times gone by as those times had a more brutal edge to them too, but at the same time, could those people survive today?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Omrow has his crusade against men pushing prams. I doubt we can convince him of the merits otherwise.
May Allah (swt) bless him with kids. I wonder if he will carry or push?
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
A woman crying 64 times a year on average seems very high to me. I think I have cried 3 or maybe 4 times this year. Hhmmm... which according to that study makes me more like a man.
I'm not the type of girl that will cry over a film or something petty and when I do cry I will do my absolute best to not cry in front of others. I have this thing about not letting others see how much they have upset me. Especially if they've caused it, why give them the satisfaction.
I come from a family who has a very tough outer edge, so tears are very rare. If someone around me cried at the slightest thing, I think I would find it very annoying and babyish. For myself it is an extreme emotion.
The last time I cried was when my little brother was really upset a few weeks ago and it made me upset and I cried in private. Thinking about it, it's normally always family, or actually sibling, related. I hate seeing my brothers or sisters upset. Alhamdulillah it is very rare.
I don't think I have ever cried due to being very happy, it's always due to a negative feeling for me. I remember my sisters friend crying when she saw my sister on her wedding day, because she thought she looked so beautiful... I couldn't relate at all... I thought my sister looked absolutely gorgeous, the most beautiful bride ever, but tears? Nope.
I don't see anything wrong with a guy crying, as long as it's not over something stupid.
Crying is good, letting all those emotions out, if they exist, is a good thing IMO. I don't think there is anything to be gained in keeping them bottled up. They will perhaps only surface later anyway. In the past when I have cried when really upset or angry, I have always felt much better afterwards.