Yakno? nobody givs a damn no more afta i went thru this i so no point in bein happi
AAAAAGGHHH why the hell did she hav to do this i asked myself the daii be4 my S.A.T.S maths exam the earlier nyt i heard my 15 year old Mate tlkin on the fone to her BOYFREND! i was pretendin 2 be asleep but i was twistin nd turnin all the waii thru i waited for an hour till i fynally had enough i screamed quietly in my hed i cryed till my body shaked nd i looked as if i had a mentality i wanted to slap and hit nd scream nd batter but i bit my lip nd cryed i listened to her plannin to hav sex usin condomz nd everythin then i got up nd walked out of the room i cried becoz of the pain the unforgteable pain... the person i had known all my life had ripped my life out of this world nd threw my soul in hell i had began becomin confused of why she was so secretive about her life then i found out......i wasnt happy i watched myself in the bathroom mirror silently sobbing wonderin why WHY WHY WHY this had to happen to me the reason why it was so much harder for me was becoz
A) i was only 11
i was already hurt by some one else
C) she told me one of my uncles was havin an affair
i wanted to cut myself nd watch the blood run out so i would eventually die i felt THIS much pain nd wat hurted me most is that MY family thought i was the biggest slag in the world wen they had no idea wat she was doin nd i was the one with the pain of course i culnt tell any1 coz it wuld spread nd the strain wuld be way to hard for my family i jus culdnt i wanted to spray paint the walls in her bedroom sayin "SLAG,SLAG,SLAG" but i resisted i didnt talk to her agin until 5 daiiz had gone by then i started trustin her again but this year on the 13 of feb i founbd out she had anotha boiifrend who was 23!! 
i cried myself to sleep every day she wuld take the laptop nd wuldnt let any 1 come in her room fynally on the 15th of feb i threw the laptpop at her nd screamed "GO TLK TO UR F****** BOYFREND INNIT??" nd she looked at me calmly and sed " i hav no idea wat ur onnabouh" i felt sicck. i culdnt do this again insted i took her fone nd the laptop awaaii from her i am 12 and she is 15 see the difference this shuld be the OTHER WAY ROUND
most iimportantly im the one tellin her 2 accept bein a muslim but she wont and i cba anymore its too damn hard
Comments
Why cry over what someone else does?
At the end of the day, after all the advice is given, people live their own lives, make their own successes and failures and she will make her own way, even if it is not as wholesome as others would like.
Maybe one day she will learn. Maybe she won't.
But the person you need to focus on is you. Make sure that you put your steps in te right places.
and instead of crying, talk to her.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Dont u think i have tried that?
Dont u think that i TRIED to make her a better muslim?
Well guess wat ? it dint work
it seemz everything i strive for is a failiure
and it seems that i will alwaiz be judged by my cover
all my advice is : innocence is the key to the trust nd wen u trust a person with ur life they r gonna throw it back in your face
trust me when i tell you that we have all been in that position before. i have to admit it's not an easy thing to have to go through. saying that i think you are missing one key thing here. that is having faith in Allah and having trust in what he does is for the best.
these things don't just change like that, you have to give it some time and have patience. not everything that happens in this life will please you. you have to remember that this life is a believers prison and a non believers paradise.
never forget that Allah is in control of everything that happens. the good and the bad things that happen to you come from Allah, so be pleased with whatever happens cause it is from Allah.
we all have different tests in this world according to that individual but Allah only gives you what you can handle. insha allah have faith in Allah and keep making dua for your family, maybe if they se the change in you it affect them. we.ve all been through hard times but after that comes the good times.
May Allah guide us all. Ameen
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
Salaam Saphire!
as Mr You said, look after yourself first, that's plenty enough work. You dont have to keep on warning and advising her. InshaAllah Allah will see that you've done your duty. Forget her as she doesnt want to change.
remember, it's not you who guides, its Allah, he chooses whom he guides and whom he keeps unguided.
not, Focus on yourself to become a better muslim!
and as Tigerman said, have trust and faith in Allah, try and find some books about how to achieve this. It's Titan work. But we have a little biggish Titan waiting to be awaken inside us.
i think you need to think about reorganizing your priorities. I dont think your cousin's love life should be at the top-ish. and if you manage to bring it down or even get rid of it from your priorities = no pain.
if you dont care, you cant hurt. (im NOT telling you to turn in a human recluse and antisocial freak, no no.)
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
This is where you have to trust in God - you can't force others to be better etc.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Its hard to let someone you care about carry on doing wrong but when you've tried your best then just let it be, InshaAllah Allah(swt) will guide them on to the straight path and whatever happens and IS happening is for the best.
It's not always as simple as the older you are the better you should be. In fact its harder to do the right then when you are older - I'm sure its much easier for you to stay away from girls as a 12yr old than it is for a 15yr. I am in no way saying what she is doing is right or acceptable but just saying its not always simple.
It seems you have the Islamic knowledge and understanding to keep you away from that kind of stuff so even when you are 15/16 you won't be sucked into that haram business when seeing people around you do the same. Masha'Allah, Good on you!
Maybe your cousin needs to understand Islam too? Everone (/most) people know its wrong, but don't understand the reason for it, don't know enough about Islam to act upon it and so on. So maybe instead of telling her what to do and what not to do subtly give her some more knowledge on Islam and help her understand.
Maybe be like "hey look at this site I came across, they've got some funny stuff on it" - and show her the Ali & Jamal articles in the revival mag? Or show her the Baba Ali vids - I'm sure both cover bf/gf being wrong etc and its not too 'intense' either.
"How many people find fault in what they're reading and the fault is in their own understanding" Al Mutanabbi
love the plug! ROfL!
but yep yep Saphirre, listen to Power of Silence, she says lots of good stuff.
and yep, this site, at the end of the day, IS to help the muslim youth. and there's PLENTY of stuff about gf/bf. there's even an article written by a shaykh.
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
I know that its Allah's choice nd its up 2 him but at thr end of the day dont u suppose that she shuld try listenin to god for a chance she is the one who showed me this magazine she is the one that everybody likes and she is always their fav . but why cant i be they all think am lazy and ignorant but they hant got a clu about how much i do for islam and to be quite honest nobodii cares apart from me i am bothered about my fsmily name and respect i dont wanna be spat on coz my suzinz a slag nd i dont want my famz life ruined coz of one person's selfishness do i?
At the end of the day you do what you do to please Allah not anybody else. If you have any intention to please others it defeats the purpose. A humble Person doesn't go around telling people they're humble now do they.
If you do things for the sole purpose of pleasing Allah and refrain from doing haram then naturally peoples perception of you will change insha allah.
Lets reunite the ummah under one flag LA ILAHA IL ALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH
true say Foysol.
and dont worry about not being recognized by your fam. all in due time Sapphire. the world cant go round without patience.
and if they still dont recognize you. REmember Allah subhanahou wa ta'ala sees and hears everything. and He knows how hard your trying and what you're going through and will reward you accordingly!
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
Native Deen - Intentions:
'Does it matter if they say I'm a big shot?
when I get no reward for my deeds
And I'm dragged on the Day of Resurrection
Cause of the folks that I wanted to please
Plus I know that Allah has the power
To raise me up in their eyes if it need be
I should always make my intentions, for my Lord, Allah completely'
I DO understand how frustrating that must be though, it's happened to the best of us. But try to remember that your struggle isn't missed and that in the end, her deeds are her own.
You're only obliged to remind her, it's not up to you whether the change occurs (sometimes mistakes have to be made before a person learns)..
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
WOOT WOOT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! TRRRRUUUTH'S RAAAZZZZZZORRR!!!!!
Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?
GrINnOoO
Jihad of the Nafs (The Struggle of the Soul)
@ OP - just to say I am not treying to be discouraging, its good to see that you care and take such things seriously.
Next time it happens and you're in the same room, tell her straight away to not do it.
and inshallah its just a phase she is going through and will outgrow it.
"For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens 'as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone'" - David Cameron, UK Prime Minister. 13 May 2015.
Cos people have better things to do, if she wanna get laid thats her prob...
If I ever have to kill for something, it would be for, "A woman"
If I ever have to kill something it would have to be, "A woman"
I was gonna put something but it seems like everyone's pretty much nailed it. The only thing I would say is have a bit of hope and a bit of patience. Many years from now you two will look back and think of today as the lowest of low times, Inshallah!
Sapphire, believe in better times ahead. Can you do that?
“Before death takes away what you are given, give away whatever there is to give.”
Mawlana Jalal ud Din Rumi